April Fools'

April 2012: returning to work post surgery 2, lots of behavior issues with Ben, an abysmal teacher conference, starting family/behavior therapy, extra work obligations for both adults, fighting with the state of SC to close my mom’s probate case.

You could say that the whole month felt like an extended April fools' joke.

Luckily I said no to several potential time sucker obligations, budgeted my time once home to maximize what had to get done, and so many nights called it early and just went to bed.

When I made my time a 2012 priority, April was successful.

May is already looking good on the planning front. We have consensus about the med trial, meeting with the summer tutor planned, ass-kicking awesome mother’s day weekend upcoming, school is winding down and I am not, repeat NOT working in any capacity, and probate is scheduled to close at the end of the month.

In light of a almost year long probate of my mom’s estate, Bill and I have revised our wills, set up trusts for each child with guardianships should we die before they are of age. Yesterday we signed off on all the paperwork and wrote a large check for the peace of mind not to saddle our kids with a mess.

Some many times in April being the parent or adult in the room was painfully obvious. I pray that decisions made will payoff. With May already rolling along I feel good that with April behind us, the summer is on the horizon.

Our annual big summer family fun list is in the works and with Ian a year older and able to do more, summer 2012 is looking good.

Google Search: Piranha

First ever report assignment!?!

Totally keeping it for the funny factor alone.

A diagnosis, a plan, a goal

Ben has officially been diagnosed with ADHD after several weeks of testing and meetings.

Our pediatrician, a child psychiatrist, and a family therapist have all confirmed that his behaviors, descriptions of difficulties, interviews with his teachers, parents, and in person with Ben were indicative of a positive diagnosis and needed interventions.

The plan involves the following:

1. A combination of medication and behavior therapy. There is much more of a back story here about coming to a consensus about when, where, who will be evaluating, how Bill and I differ about this decision and how we have worked to compromise for Ben’s best interest a combined approach is the best choice. The bottom line that is research backed is Ben has the best chance of improvement with both used in tandem.

2. Bill and I have also agreed to spend the next 6 weeks in family therapy refining how discipline works in our house, fine tuning what we are doing with the sole focus on being a united front. Who you are to your kid is often illustrated by the choices you make in how you discipline.

3. Also on the list of interventions is continued use of the chart we have been using with Ben to track am/pm expectations. We are in week 4 and so far breaking down transitions into smaller parts has helped. I laminated our chart and use a wipe off pen. Bill does the am, I the pm.

The chart is an easy check in twice a day and a chance to earn 2nd chance at home if school has gone badly. We physically pay bear bucks at the end of each night and allow him to pick a reward at the end of the week. Rewards have buck values. Ben has bought in and it is working well, hence a recent reward weekend trip to Krispy Kreme.

Our therapist liked that his school contract works together with the chart at home and has asked his teacher to further break down her expectations of him into targeted goals. At our parent conference she was not only open to making changes, but also is willing to recommend a supportive and ADHD knowledgeable 1st grade teacher placement.

4. I have also asked her for a recommendation for a summer tutor to help review and build on his reading and writing skills over the summer. I am not working this summer and plan to use some part of the day working with Ben on his skills based on the recommendation of the tutor.

Bill and I thank our friends for the support as we move from perusing diagnosis to now working on interventions. I don’t expect that after a week of medication or a couple of sessions of therapy that Ben is going to suddenly be a different child.

These interventions are about helping him be successful in school, with his relationships, to feel he is a good boy who is capable of making good decisions over the long haul.

I am not surprised at all and in some ways this is a relief that maybe it wasn’t just parenting choices but rather a biological component going back to toddlerhood has been part of the problem.

When a meeting on yet another couch begins with, “you are not bad parents,” there is a part of you that wants to believe it. Another part that wants other people to also see that you are doing everything you can and have been doing everything you can for as long as you can remember and not judge you, judge your kid, judge your choices.

What I hope for Ben,for us as parents, for what decisions we are putting in place is support.

The cure for male underwear overexposure

I live in a house filled with man and little man underwear. I often think that if I was one of those people who would hang a bright, colorful flag displaying the seasons that it would say, Vinson: House of penises with underwear embroidered welcoming all who enter.

With this realization, I try to make it out with female friends when possible. Adult conversation that does not involve discussions of superheroes, legos, cars, and anything else stereotypically male is welcomed and is a sanity saver.

Enter a weekend of XX fun. Up first was a jewelry making class that I got ½ price on Groupon. I’ve wanted to check outOrnamentea
for a while, and when they offered up a class to learn the 7 basic types of earrings I was all over a ladies day out.

Note that after 3 hours, with much help from the instructor, I had seven pairs of earrings. My apologies to the instructor, who should have gotten combat pay for all the times she had to reshow me a technique. I got to catch up with my friend as most days I only get a quick minute between classes.

Up next was finally seeing the Hunger Games. For a book that was so visually rich with what I thought scenes would look like if it ever came to film, it didn’t disappoint. So ready to reread the whole trilogy, again.

Lastly on the XX front was getting summer sorority reunion plans set. Once again a group of us are getting together for a weekend in July. This year we are in Nashville where two of our friends live and have promised us a honky-tonk good time. One of my friends is driving up from Myrtle Beach to fly out with me. Good odds that one or both of us may be booted from the plane before we make it to Nash-Vegas. The crazy thing about this friend is that she went to high school with Bill and has known him longer than me.

I’m fairly sure that the cure for overexposure to male underwear is cultivating female relationships.

Friday tradition

Thanks for supportive thoughts both here as well as those posted to me privately. While we don't plan to play out every decision we are making about interventions/treatments publically it helps to know we have support on our side. Giving voice to how this impacts our family through writing seems to give worry an outlet.

On the positive today I want to share something I do with the boys most every Friday after pick up. We started it last summer as a weekly trip and we kept it going throughout this school year.

We hit up the library for new books, hang out in the amazing kid’s area reading a couple of books from the little chairs. Ben loves to check out all the books at the self service kiosk with Ian nearby helping me stack the books into our bags.

I won't lie this trip usually involves fishing the boys out of a back room that has a stage that they love to jump and roll into the floor. Luckily the library an hour from close on Friday is usually dead.

Once home we make a single batch of cookies or brownies to enjoy over the weekend and then play outside until Bill gets home.

Friday nights are typically family movie night with easy dinner, popcorn, and whatever we made that afternoon to enjoy. we've starting letting the kids stay up one extra hour on Friday nights in return for a 7/7:30 Sat am wake up. So far minus DST changes it works.

As much as I've written about struggling with Ben of late, these types of traditions are what I want to look back and remember. It is what I want the boys to remember about growing up in our home.

Lazy weekend ahead and after a stressful week all hopes that by Monday we can start fresh for a better week.

Of licking paper towels and guinea pig bites

This feels like the Bataan death march of trying weeks. Lots of work as the semester winds down. More importantly just more ongoing Ben issues. So far this week I have gotten notes home about licking paper towels in the bathroom and yesterday putting his finger in the classroom guinea pig's mouth, resulting in a bite.

Both super nasty on the gross out front. Both resulting in lots of tears and time talking at bedtime about better choices.

There is a post soon about working on a longer term plan for Ben. Bill and I have had more conversations in our kitchen this week in which one or both of us have exclaimed we just feel defeated. On the positive, and yes there are MANY positives here to early intervention, I think wanting to be a united front may be one of the best things for our marriage in a long time.

While horizontal bound I caught up on several books. I finally got around to reading Siblings Without Rivalry and and How She Really Does It. Both were great reads among a book club pic, 2 ADHD books, and skimming a couple of others while at home.

From How She Really Does it I took the advice that working outside the home makes me a better, more centered mom and I shouldn't apologize for saying it outloud. I wouldn't trade the year I had a home with Ian for anything, most importantly it helped define that I am good at what I do and the highly structured day of working outside my home makes me appreciate and protect the time I have at home more fiercely.

Up next was Siblings Without Rivalry. Good timing on reading as the fighting between Ben and Ian has become a daily issue. Ian can hold his own and has finally developed some language to fight back. Most importantly I took away were ways to listen to kids, making them part of the solution with their ideas, and don't cast them into preset roles. I'm on board to read How to Talk So that Kids Listen next.

To wrap up this Thursday rambling I mentioned to someone who was asking about Ben that yeah, this really sucks and feels like a major parenting fail. But there is so much positive at doing what we can for him now so that when he's 15 or 25 or whatever that his relationships, his self esteem, his ability to concentrate better at school or work or whatever will be because of the energy and yes so many tears now.

That makes me feel like it's all worth the time, stress, and tears.

Wordless Wednesday

The freckle-faced, blue-eyed one in the middle has no idea to what length I will go for him.

Post Op Check In

Super busy week with teacher conference, meeting again with the psychiatrist about Ben, working a benefit concert for Kenya fundraising, doing a class. Busy.

Thanks folks who continue to ask how I'm doing, or in some cases tell me quit doing _____, are you nuts? Keep calling me out on overdoing it.

I'm still in major recovery mode at three weeks out today. I'm really, really tired and going back to work a week ago was a mixed bag decision.

Good in that I am now not having to play catch up with work. All feelings that a sub would have butchered this unit and I would have been stuck reteaching and then being behind until the end of the semester.

Bad in that I hurt. Badly. Everyday last week it became harder and harder just to move. By midweek all the energy I had was gone and I was beyond exhausted. Bill is on a release at work and working late almost every night so I've been solo parenting at night.

I could give you the most jacked up word problem involving at what time can Bill still get home and Heather still take painkillers and still be functional leaving for work.

The answer: 10 pm

This week is better as I really tried to take it easy over the weekend. All incisions look good. I have about the same amount as before, around 30 inches that have to be taped daily for the next 3 months. I also have to wear compression shorts (think super tight bike shorts) that are becoming uber hot as the weather is turning warmer. I was released to buy a bra which after a good hour of bra shopping last weekend I'm the size I hoped to be long term.

When I went to the 2 week follow up with the surgeon last week he couldn't believe how active I already was and once again referred to me as a "wagon train kinda gal". I think if he uses this phrase a 3rd time, I'm making it my epitaph.

At this point I wish I could say I'm completely done, but for lack of a better phrase there is some clean up nip and tucks that need to be finished up after 6 weeks out. All be done in office under local anesthetic with only a day out of work.

I have a fairly high pain tolerance, frankly I'll admit to being a bit of a pain junkie who for some certifible reason has long since equated phyical pain with reaching some type of goal. With this set of surgeries I've been in severe pain. Simply because of where these scars are it is inevitable that siting, walking, and lifting just hurt.

I'll once again say what a good decision it was to do these now 4 procedures. I feel like a walking advertisement for my surgeon's talent. These results look better than I ever imagined and the confidence that came with being on the other side is worth every penny and bit of pain now.

Urgent care and birthday cupcakes do not mix

See the cute cupcakes in honor of Ian's two favorite things:

Elmo and saying the word B-ball with single finger pointing to our neighbors goal repeatedly.

Listen as I recount the frantic lunchtime call from Bill recounting that the boys got into a fight at Target and he thought Ian's arm was potentially broken.

Bill: Hearing screaming in the background. Are you home? Can you meet me at Urgent Care, I think Ian is badly hurt. Ben bent Ian's arm backwards over the cart and hit it with full force and possibly broke it.

Bill is NOT calm as I try to get him to tell me where he is and if I need to come to him or does he want to come home pick me up and us assess the injury.

I'm coming home, so we can go in one car or you can keep Ben.

Once home Ian is still crying and refusing to lift his arm. I pull Ben aside and ask him what happened and he admits he hurt Ian's arm but that he was just playing around and not trying to be mean. I send him upstairs until we can check out Ian. Bill is still livid and Ben is now crying.

Any movement in his left arm and he screams even louder. I contemplate calling our ped or our family doctor to see if either are open before we trek it to urgent care.

Somewhere in the midst, Ian has stopped crying and asking for a drink, then strawberries (on the counter.)

His arm does not feel broken or swollen and his shoulder is in the socket. So we decide to do lunch and nap and see if after nap he is still favoring the shoulder.

After nap he picked up a sippy with his hand and lifted it without crying. Another check and no swelling or obvious reason to NOT spend the rest of his birthday sitting in chairs.

We had planned to go out for dinner but opted to play outside, order pizza, and do cake and presents on the porch. It was a gorgeous day to celebrate sweet Ian's 2nd birthday.

At 2 you are wide open, full of energy, have started to string two word sentences together like "Ben, not nice", "here Veg-hus", "Me hid (I hide)". Last week he said his own name clear as a bell. You love to run (usually away from us), give hugs, blow kisses, read books, try anything your brother does. We can usually find at least one Duplo in a pocket at all times.

Ian, you are a gift of light and laughter. I hear your sweet voice, your laugh and you instantly ground me.

Happy birthday sweet blue-eyed boy. Thankfully Urgent care was not part of your special day.

Passing along some Wednesday awesome

One of my favorite local blogs posted how to get your kids involved serving others in your local community.

I'll personally give credence to the Women's Shelter of Wake County, where the majority of all my closet clean out has been donated.

One of my summer list with the kids is to find several opportunities that I can do with the kids (probably just Ben). Ideas if you are local welcomed.

Happy Wednesday folks-

Because Gandhi is a crazy long movie

Back at work today. No need to get in the what is wrong with you, what happened to taking another week, do I need to slap some sense into you line.

I would if I could, BUT with only 4 sick days left for year I need to hang on to them in case of infection, one additional outpatient procedure, the boys sickness, or if I can swing it a hooky day to surprise Ben at school to volunteer.

Since I'm mobile, off pain meds, and able to drive AND all my sub plans are complete, why not head back.

I will be taking it easy, not adding anything to my plate this week, and taking care of myself.

Really. No need for I told you so.

We had a wonderful holiday weekend and for the most part I feel back to normal. Thanks everyone for your continued good thoughts and support.

You can send me some good thoughts all week as I sit through Gandhi as we kick off a unit on Imperialism. It is a CRAZY long movie that kids actually like. That seems crazy on all levels. At least it buys me a good 30 mins in each class to be off my feet which I will take full advantage.

An Occasional 2012 Friday Series: Project Runway

I've never been a big shopping kind of gal. Basically with 10+ black tshirts I have a go-to outfits that all include, you guessed it one of the ten.

While couch bound I've been shopping. A lot. Like had to preface the conversation to Bill as, "since I worked out free shipping why not buy what I want and then return the majority."

Since I feel remotely human again I took some time to have a little try on show. By the end I had 4 new outfits ready to roll.

*sadly none included the cute dresses from Old Navy fit and even with different sizing the styles just didn't look good*

Up first my desire for some cute summer skirts


I LOVE this skirt and think I might be able to pull off leggings with it in the fall. I have two maxi dresses also on order from this same vendor. I might cry if neither look as good as they do in my dreams. PS this skirt is a MEDIUM!!! Hello haven't seen that size since Jr. High!


I found this jacket on clearance and still think I need some help finding ways to style, but for now I paired it with white cropped pants and hello a NEW SMALLER black tshirt (like I wasn't going to replace some of my stash)



Lastly was what I was wearing yesterday. I love this chambray shirt. Kim K of My Style Challenge totally nails how this can be a wardrobe staple. Something tells me she can give me some more ideas on this (and that gray jacket).


One more.... Was totally playing around looking at dresses from Rent the Runway and found this beauty. I love every single thing about this dress. Just imagining my body just wearing something so beautiful makes me smile.

What to Make of It

Yesterday Bill and I met on referral to a pediatric psychiatrist for Ben's potential ADHD diagnosis.

Without a huge, long story our concerns have grown over this first year in public school. Remember the first day come to Jesus meeting where his teacher met me at the door about behavior?

After a daily behavior contract, nearly being suspended from the after school program, several meetings with his teacher as well as frequent email communication, concerns with report card after what felt like no marked improvement we moved to an evaluation. What was deemed immaturity in October is now a vaid concern and waiting until 1st grade is not an option.

So far we (each parent and each teacher) completed lengthy questionnaires and completed an observation survey privately and forwarded to his pediatrician.

The day before my surgery we met with Ben with our pediatrician. She asked questions of Ben and concluded that there are legitimate concerns. She identified multiple markers and felt a fuller psychological and educational evaluation was warranted before a diagnosis could be confirmed.

In a nutshell here are our top concerns and reason why we are seeking an evaluation now instead of waiting:

1. Inability to concentrate and finish school work despite multiple interventions within the classroom. From our volunteering we've seen Ben sit with his portable cubicle peeking under talking to others, not be able to stay seated, give up when frustrated, and engage in a power struggle and be defiant towards the teacher and TA. Completing homework is difficult and often a similar power struggle.

2. Being in constant motion from the minute up until he goes to bed. So many nights it seems that if I would let him he would simply stay up all night playing. So many of the questionnaires asked if it was like he was a wound up motor. Even with the outlets of recess, a good 2 hours outside or in the gym afterschool, and if we can swing it time outside once home, he is still going strong as we approach bedtime.

So many of the questions we have are about what is normal almost 6 year old behavior and what is in the realm of ADHD. The meeting yesterday was a step, Ben will meet privately and then we will meet again after she has both us and his classroom teachers complete more evaluations.

At this point I'm not worried that this what is likely pointing to a diagnosis that is going to be the end all, be all. Both physicians felt that what we were doing at home including a recently ramped up effort to break down the am/pm into specific tasks that ties into our already successful system of "bear bucks" were a positive direction and to continue as well as strive for consistency.

The more that I've read and asked, Ben's behavior could be much, much worse. As mentioned before I don't think ADHD even qualifies in childhood misery poker when put up again what we could be dealt.

Bill and I do have some concerns if medication is suggested what are the short and long term implications. We also do not want to only medicate in a vacuum and plan to augment with several other suggestions. Bill and I are making being a united front a priority even if it means lots of uncomfortable and hard conversations.

Yesterday between my post op appointment (yay.. no more drains and all looks good) and the psychiatrist appointment we had lunch outside and talked over priorities, concerns, and what being a united front looks like for our family.

The first steps in what has the potential to be a defining part of raising our boys long term and keeping our family dynamics on an even keel.

One thought that has keep me grounded came from a friend who commented that you will love your kid regardless if a label becomes involved. Ben is the same kid you've always known and anything you are doing now is only so you can honor the commitment to helping provide the best for his future.

NC Amendment 1- Family, Unfettered

Thanks to Facebook a high school friend found me locally. Since then I've met her amazing partner Karen and triplets Emma, Evan, and Grady. Yesterday she shared her family is part of a media campaign against upcoming vote on NC Amendment 1.

I commented that it is such a disservice to dismiss as a gay issue only. It's about families, regardless if it doesn't look like yours.

Family, Unfettered from Commitment | NC on Vimeo.

Thank you Kelli and Karen for sharing your family, regardless of the stupidity of the NC Legislature to even question your validity.

Super Short Check In

Thanks everyone for modes of communication while I've been horizontal bound. The short story is that the surgery went well and I'm feeling better every day.

Other than channeling Jack Torrance not leaving the house, I'm good and all plans to continue to rest up and heal up all this week. Bill is back at work today, the boys are in camp and daycare. It's quiet, so I'm in heaven even if it's drug filled.

Today is the first day I could officially get drains removed. All hopes for a "come on in and let's pull those babies out." Odds on "play again tomorrow, let's give it one more day."

Either way thanks for continued good thoughts. I'll add anyone thinking of doing a breast reduction, talk to me first. After I finish hooting and hollering at the results I will tell you it hurts like a mo fo.

Heading to sit on the porch and work on this 25 page intake form for Ben's appointment later in the week over this ADHD diagnosis.

Probably good I will still be on meds at that appointment alas showing up with a cocktail in hand and telling the pediatric psychiatrist to bring it might lead her to diagnose Ben with more problems than just attention. How about a bat sh*t crazy parent?

Awoken From The Dream By My Own Name

Surgery Day Part 2. Really and truly I feel like everything was said in December. The past 3 months have been surreal getting used to a new body, learning how to handle questions and comments, returning to working and daily life after a weeks long recuperation.

Before surgery 1 I asked if I thought I would have any regrets, given knowing that the recovery would be painful and hard. I theorized that it would be worth it.

Yes, a thousand times yes to a new outlook on life. Not just because of the physical changes but I truly feel the best I have in my adult life.

Sunday I planned a family day at one of our favorite parks. Complete with a picnic lunch, rides on the train and carousel, and lots and lots of time on the playground.

Pure.Unadulterated.Joy



An example of why waking up later today continue steps towards living a fulfilled, happy life with a physical body now completely on the other side of the looking glass.

Like a 1 Armed Wallpaper Hanger

Insanely, crazy busy day ahead as I am determined to NOT darken the doors of work over the weekend. Minor meltdown yesterday when I found out my sub had been reassigned.

All good now, but it took old school panic (and then tears) to get everything back. What does Tina Fey says about crying in the workplace? Save it for when you need a trump card.

By end of day I will have 2 weeks of sub plans ready to roll, mid term grades posted and no plans to be back a day before April 9th.

Nothing crazy on tap this weekend other than mulching for Michua $ again and plans to do a trip to Pullen Park with the family on Sunday. Thinking porch fern invasion is also on tap. That and that I have tickets to see Ira Glass. Super excited to see him again, esp in light of the retraction of the high profile Apple Story.

I promised not to rush the stage and humiliate myself or anyone with me by end of night. Ripping open my shirt to reveal, "IRA 4eva" painted on my chest is still not out of the question.

I gotta give these ridiculously large boobs a send off, right?

Your 3 Minutes

Yesterday Her Bad Mother threw out the 3 minute list. All things if you had 3 whole minutes to yourself not schlepping children, fixing something, dealing with the everyday.. you get the picture.

I gotta steal her #5 Sniff the kids hair and just revel for a few minutes, in the delicious smell of them

Thinking on what I have done in 3 minute segments this week that brought joy into my life

-Watched and re watched this Mad Men Trailer for the Season 5 premiere Sunday. Gotta get my Don Draper fix and girl crush on Joan on after 17 long months wihtout.

-Checked out a new tapas joint online for dinner this weekend. Do they have a cheese plate? Decision made.

-Tried on those 4 cute dresses metioned earlier this week. Loving shopping. LOVE IT.

-Bought a pair of gladiator sandals to go with the maxi dress to be bought in the near future.

-Checked out cute skirts from Boden. I love anything listed with "fun" in the garment title. Doesn't everyone need a fun skirt?

-Made appointments for a massage, waxing, mani/pedi on Monday. Taking the whole day pre-surgery to volunteer at Ben's school, have lunch with him, and then some pre surgery pampering.

-Added books to my library queue and Netflix streaming. Plans to watch season one of Boardwalk Empire, try Dexter (again), season 2 of Weeds, as well as Gray's Anatomy while horizontal bound.

-Planned what plants I want to put on my porch. Blooming azaleas match the porch cushions I just purchased. May make a run for fern invasion this weekend.

-Extra books read at night with the kids and savored laying in bed talking a few extra minutes with Ben. Even got to rock Ian for about 3 mins before he squirmed.

-Drew chalk pictures on the driveway with Ian.

-Sat on my front porch and watched a storm come over the horizon.

-Made homemade blueberry muffins for the boys.

What about you? What would make your 3 minute list?

Fire Marshal Ben

Overheard as we went through Ben's Friday Bag:

"tell me about this picture, what are you doing?"

"I am yelling to get out of our burning house"

"is that Ian? are you helping him get out?" (thinking Ian looks like a doll or a midget version of Ben)

"yes, I'm helping him because he was crying"

"also mom I helped Vegas put on a dog mask to breath"

"That is wonderful you are helping Ian when he was scared. Did you know that dad bought a special ladder that we could escape through a window from his office if we couldn't go down the stairs?

Do you think you could help us draw a plan for our family that has 2 routes out?"

"So Ben I do have one question, where are mom and dad in this picture?"

"You already are outside, I was in the bathroom when the fire started and was pooping"

"Ben, you know that if we had a fire we would make sure you and Ian got out, along with Vegas, even if you were in the bathroom"

Great parenting moment realizing your kid thinks you would leave him behind in a burning house, esp because he stopped to poop.

How to spend over $600 in Old Navy in under 15 minutes

The plan was after dinner Saturday night to hit the stock up sale for kids clothes and *maybe* check out the clearance for some new wardrobe items.

So just how in around 20 mins did I clear over 600 bucks?

1. Have filled two carts with items thrown in at lighting speed
2. Be buying two sizes in hopes post surgery the smaller fits
3. Really want some cute dresses and skirts for spring/summer
4. Have a melting down toddler
5. Strong armed the 5 year old from putting all the balls and lunchboxes in the cart when I wasn't looking
6. Need to buy shorts, shirts, and swimsuits for Ben and fill in the holes for Ian
7. Get stopped in the checkout line by an old student on college spring break leaving me no time for a presort of the carts.


Plans for a massive post surgery try-on session and a even bigger return but in the meantime look what I scored. So hopes one of these dresses fit in about a month.










Extra points if the halter makes the cut.

Extra, Extra points that only 1 black shirt was among the lot.

A Wagon Train Kind of Gal

Everything went well yesterday at pre op. Most of all the instructions are the same for after-care and minus having four drains over two post surgery.

At the beginning of the discussion he was hesitant to perform these two procedures together, a breast reduction and a thigh lift, due to the time under anesthesia. Both are around 4 hours and as all surgery is performed in the surgical suite in office on a same day basis, 6 hours is the maximum that he normally is comfortable performing.

We talked over breaking into two specific procedures and doing two recoveries over one. I was adamate that I really want to be finished and would rather have a longer, harder recovery than two more to contend with planning for kids, my recoup, Bill's time off from work.

After a long discussion and going over each procedure he believed that I could do them both together, given the understanding that I am going to have to be out for at least 2 weeks with the strong possibility of 3. Being at home with limited activity was mandatory. No putting up Christmas decorations in the attic this time (Bill ratted me out for pushing it in December.)

At one point he said, "you are a wagon train kinda of gal, and knowing how you came through the first surgery I know if anyone can pull off this recovery you can."

Seriously, a wagon train kind of gal? I've been referred to as many things, but this was a first. I'll take it as a compliment on some level that as surgeries go that my main goal going into this final step of weight loss is being achieved in part to tenacity or maybe my stubbornness.

Not that I am going for some type of award, rather I just want to be done. We did before pictures and looked at the scar healing. All is looking good and yes I did take a quick look at the before comparison and couldn't believe it was the same body.

In the end I just need to keep my panic that something is going to go wrong at bay, trusting that I am in good hands and in the end doing all of this was my call.

Just How Many Bags of Turkey Meatballs Can Stave Off Panic?

I'm buried under in a massive pre-surgery to-do list this week/next. Is it possible to feel some sense of nesting if you aren't prego?

Actually with less than 2 weeks to go I'm starting to feel the same old school panic as before surgery one. I have this need to get the house organized, plan easy to fix meals for the kids (hence the stockpile of turkey meatballs), get my classes/lesson plans/copies made for a potential extra week absence, and finish off a mountain of important paperwork. Added bonus for the cold I've been nursing all week.

Massive primal scream about now.

Last night was paperwork central finishing up some work on our wills, looking for the remaining tax documents I forgot when I met with the accountant on Monday, the ADHD paperwork for parents, packaging the school version with confidential envelopes to deliver today. Then there was probate paperwork. Somewhere I commented to Bill that I now know where the phrase, "I will spit on your grave" comes from: an estate in probate court.

Actually I've had it easy as Brian has done 99% of the work and handled the outstanding medical bills. In actuality whatever is left that would come to me is going into a trust for Ben and Ian's education. On some level it makes me sad that with the close of the case, it is officially the end of her "life." I know that she would be happy that providing for her grandsons was the end result of a long, arduous process. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss her. Even with all the issues, I would do anything to have more time, especially to have the boys have had more time. I fear that later in life they will barely remember her.

Later today is pre-op. I told Bill last night I am really scared about the recovery this time. Not that the other surgery was a walk in the park, but my surgeron tried to talk me out of stacking these procedures given the 8 hours under anesthesia. He later recanted with the mother of all comments.

Maybe because Pam is not able to be here to help with the kids and Bill is under a deadline at work, I just feel like the recovery has the potential for problems. Maybe with the added stress of Ben's behavior and wrapping up probate I'm stressing myself out even more. How about just being slap worn out at the end of the day from this traveling teaching schedule that everything just feels harder this time.

We will see, in the meantime I am setting a moratorium on turkey meatball purchase.

here all week folks

Thanks folks for your supportive comments here as well as privately.

It has been a long week. Understatement. In addition to the ongoing behavior issues we are trying to close my mom's probate estate case. I wish I could escape where no one can find me for a couple of days.

To wrap up this ick week how about some funny?

A recent Dollar Tree trip revealed the following finds.

I had just commented, "how crappy of an author are you if your work sells for a $1. Just who would buy these jems of literary genius?"



Guilty. Me

Or how about this? The look on the cashier's face was classic as he uttered, "are you going to use this?" Me: "Never underestimate the power of Snoop Dogg."



Both will be put back for a White Elephant gift exchange which I LOVE to host.

Then I discovered these:



Remember Designer Impostors Body Spay? Want to admit you owned some in the 6th grade?

Sadly the motherload was the discovery that Dollar Tree carries Turkey Creek BBQ porkrinds.



Holy mother I am in hog heaven. Literally.


My friend that was with me walked away with less than 5 dollar purchase. Me: over $30including freeze ahead pans and Easter basket fillers.

Were you thinking I spent $30 on pork rinds?

Here all week folks, next show surely not to disappoint. While I know I shouldn't quit my day job, you know I gotta find some funny where I can find it.

Our weekend plans include a Kite festival, more mulching for trip money, helping tag and bag for a church wide yard sale and help with a food truck rodeo Kenya Fundraiser.

Not familiar with the Food Truck Rodeo? Think state fair food trailers but with more than fried Twinkies.

Called Our Bluff

My day started with crying, first by Ben and then as I drove to work. Ben is missing his spring field trip today due to a rotten day yesterday in all 5 areas on his behavior contract. We are splitting the day to be home with him while he is being punished.

We had explained that to go on the trip he had to show he could make a 4 or 5 check day until the trip as well as a good report from after school. He held it together for 3 school days until yesterday. It's almost like he saved up days worth of bad choices and then fired them off. The hystics have been on a new level in the last 24 hours.

I can't even begin to tell you how taking away this trip feels like the straw that is going to break the camels back. Bill and I had already been talking to Ben's teacher about the possibility of doing some testing at the school level. Last week I talked to her even more and agreed that we would start the process.

I talked to some teacher friends at work about the legalities of the process, the timetable, and what a potential diagnosis could mean for services or potentially the writing of an IEP (the legal document of what the school must provide.)

Just starting the process to test, even if in the end we are old "he's a 5 year old boy" is daunting. I quickly shoved the Handbook of Parenteral rights aside, feeling like it is a massive badge of parental failure just to be in ownership of this book. I cannot look at a bunch of legalize until we can feel it's warrented.

The reality is Bill and I want to do something now, not wait out another year or even just the rest of spring. The process if indeed Ben does wind up with a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD is likely going to take the rest of his Kindergarten year to get into place for 1st grade.

I totally admit that in Misery Poker, Childhood Issues Edition that a hyperactivity diagnosis is not even in the same league as SO many other afflictions. But it's still something to deal with on an ongoing basis, it makes life harder, it make the goals and dreams you have that your kid is going to be well adjusted and happy harder. It makes me wonder what school is going to look like for him. It makes you question past parenting mistakes as part of the cause.

I think my bottom line is while I want to know if my gut is right and this is all more than 5 year old antics. I need some good thoughts on this friends.

I Got So Much More Than 6 Feet Under

How about 20ft?

Last night our team saw pictures of the community effort in progress starting the clean water project in Michura, Kenya.

Before the construction teams arrive this summer a giant 20 foot deep rainwater collection pit has to be dug as well as the trench lines leading to a water purification station.

Hello grassroots effort on a crazy large scale.

I spent most of Saturday helping spread multiple dumptrucks of mulch in the nasty, cold rain as part of a group fundraiser. Minus one taco truck stop it might have been some of the hardest manual work I've ever done. I most likely will be revisiting that statement by end of summer.

A couple of weeks ago I got approval to get my fundraising letter out. I actually hate soliciting monetary support, especially in a icky economy when just filling your gas tank fills like mission work. As the former philanthropy chair for my college sorority as well as lots of fundraising as National Honor Society advisor, I can do it and hopefully convincingly.

I'm putting out my letter today, disguised as a pop quiz from your local social studies teacher. I also created a Facebook Event page and am using the hashtag #can-heather-dig-it?

I don't plan to beg friends for support. Support me if you want, join my event if you want, follow me if interest. I won't lie I have a LONG way to go to get to my $3500 cost of the trip and any donation is appreciated. The letter contains an online link for donation as well as tax reciept.

More importantly I hope you will support this effort by just being interested. All hopes to share stories and pictures of just what support whether monetary or just your good thoughts are doing thousands of miles away.

I'm not a super churchy God person and the last thing I want in asking for support equates pushing religion on you. Yes, this is a religous backed trip and will involve visiting the village churches. More importantly this trip is about bring the most simple but vital resource, clean water, to families just like mine and yours.

I'm also linking the the non-profit 410 Bridge's effort in Kenya. I am crazy inspired by what they are doing and hope you will be too.

Thanks-

Special Delivery

Look what made the trip from 105 Clay Street, Easley SC



Look what was inside the piano bench: Tons of my old practice books including Henry the Cat, my first every recital piece. Check out that 5 year old signature (and inside Hello Kitty Stickers.) The fact that most of the music was marked up with my mom's handwriting brought a smile to my face.



See who banged all over the keys with a smile on his face.



See how much it means to have one of the best memories of my mom now in my home.



My mom taught piano starting when she was pregnant with me in the fall of 1974 and continued until only a few years before her death. For my entire time growing up I heard scores of students learning to play.

From 3-8 pm Monday through Thursday, our house was filled with kids hanging out drinking Green Kool-aid playing Pitfall with us while waiting on their siblings to finish.

I took from kindergarten until I was a Junior in high school. Sharing a love of music with my mom is one of my best memories of her. While rusty, sitting and playing for Ben and Ian and then later for myself made me realize that the band (or the piano) plays on even in her absence.

Want to See it, Read it, Do it, Taste,It, Wear it- March Edition

And once again we had another night of fun at Casa Vinson. First up: firetrucks at after school pickup. Sadly the first thought was I hope Ben didn't set the school on fire. Actually no, but he did kick someone in the crotch. How this was not a write up when pushing a backpack across a table defies reason.

Double Secret probation for the entire weekend and we are are keeping him home next Friday for a field trip if he can't pull it together. Yes there was lots, and lots, and lots of crying last night. I even made a student cry yesterday. I felt like a total winner by end of day.

So on to March. Once again I feel like getting stuff done by March 27 surgery is my target.

Here's the short list of some things on my radar:

See it: Hunger Games. I need no other words to describe how much I want to see this cornucopia of awesomeness. Maybe even up for a midnight showing on opening night. Take that Bill Vinson, king of midnight showings (even bad movies).

Taste it: Want to discover a new tapas restaurant since my fav Red Room has closed :(

Need to have a child-free meal in peace before surgery is on my short list. Also under taste it is replenishing my freezer stock over the month since Pam is not able to fly uppost surgery. Last weekend freezer session produced 4 new things to try.

Wear it: Super short mall trip in which I might have had .912 sec on the way to replace even more damn pants for Ben to look for myself. He's back to only wanting to wear "swishy" athletic pants. NO jeans so a pair lasts only a few weeks. Thank GOD for Sears Kid Advantage program that replaces them in the same size for free. These people are losing money on the Vinson family. Totally stealing a few hours for some post surgery shopping.


Read it: Sadly after restarting book club book twice I am giving up. It's even history related on something I care about and I just can't get past 75 pages. Back to the library it is going. On the amazing you should read it list: the super compact and visually delicious We the Animals by Justin Torres. At 125 pgs I read in a couple of hours and loved it so much I reread it again. Also on the short list is Michael Ian Black's new book You're Not Doing It Right. Just check out this online review.

Being a long-standing fan of MIB, i knew this book wouldn't disappoint. Got the kindle version this morning and have been doing a power-read. Insightful, funny and smart humor that has many well-stitched emotions and stories. If you're willing to access those dark pockets of your mind thinking about your kids, spousal insanity and taking a good hard look at yourself this book is for you. I'm just about done and really am enjoying it. On a side note, I'm glad i am not the only one who had the same reaction to a lame-ass Creed song. *What a relief * Get the book...If you're one of those Oprah book club types, you might want to stick with something else. Allow me to pretend to be an English teacher for 2 seconds and rate this book a solid "A".

Dilemma: Get it now or save it for post surgery, drug filled days laying on the couch? Thinking high on Oxycontin would make what I'm sure if going to rival "Taco Party" on a whole new level the best part of another non-showering recovery.

Do it: Lots to do to get classes pulled together for another couple of week absence. I got my favorite bad ass sub known lovingly as Big D that teachers love and kids hate for her sarcastic and take no prisoners attitude. Perfect for my drama filled children while I'm gone.

Really and truly on the do it list is raising money for Kenya. Almost every day after school this week I've been pulling weeds in anticipation for weekend 1 of MULCHURA. Hello spreading mulch in nearby neighborhoods to raise money like a fool weekends all month. I'm even personally doing some other teachers' yards down near school after work for donations.

Happy March and even happier to get to final surgery on the 27th.

Because this week needed this

Yep. That would be a handwritten note from Ben detailing his behavior in the after school program. The same program that we are one write up away from being dismissed.

At the walk of shame/pick up yesterday I knew it was not going to be the stellar report hoped for when told, "wait here while I get the director."

Upon entering the library yesterday Ben did a running slide on the carpet into a bookshelf eventually tumbling into a group of already sitting (and quiet) girls.

While not the official FINAL write-up dismissing us, the librarian was upset enough to require Ben to write the note and sit out half of his outside time.

Goodbye to a special scavenger hunt and Leap Day prizes. I packed up the scavenger hunt cards as soon as we hit home all to a chorus of giant tears and hysterical sobbing and also lying that he didn't do the things he detailed in the note.

Further compounded by Ben trying to get me to call Bill who was working late to get him to reinstate the scavenger hunt.

Nope. Goodbye TV for the rest of the week as well as an early bedtime with dinner in his room.

Here's the deal beyond how this is the ongoing issue with Ben ad nauseum. Earlier this year Ben along with the rest of the boys in his class were invited to a drop off playdate. We couldn't go due to a conflict but I remarked to Bill that Ben has enough exposure already at school to this child and I don't think he needed the additional time to be influenced, esp with one parent and the potential for 10+ boys in a private home.

Bill agreed but then later came back and said that we should reconsider and maybe try to contact the parent about playing at a nearby park with parents present. We hear from Ben and have both observed when we have volunteered in the classroom that this child does not have many friends. Ben himself calls him a "bad kid".

Ben and I have talked about being a friend to him in positive ways and how maybe our good choices could be an example to help our friend also make good choices. I brought this up to Bill and we agree that to some family (and likely more than one) the kid named BEN VINSON is used in context of don't play with him because he's a bad influence.

Here lies my ultimate issue. I truly believe that the 5 year old Ben is setting the parameters and character for the future versions of his character. Because I see and work with "bad kids" on the high school level, the ones that are absent more than in class, have 6% averages despite parental intervention. I think I am highly sensitive of what I don't want to see him as in 10 years. I want to think I am doing everything I can to be setting him up to see himself positively and also ACT appropriately.

Last night a bedtime we as we always do review the best thing and worst thing about our day. Best: Getting 4 checks and going to the treat box.

Worst: getting in trouble in after school and then as my heart is breaking as he says: Making me so sad that I hate you. Thanks Ben, it's been a long week and that made it so much better.

I have to think that if Bill and I continue to stand firm, are on the same page with discipline and not giving in to whining and lying, continue to work with his teachers that he will develop into somewhat of what we hope. He has made progress in maturity as well as listening according to his teacher from the Day 1 Come to Jesus meeting with his teacher.

I hope so. I pray so. I need others to step up with a "me too" 'cause I feel like I have the worst kid on the playground despite effort, time, attention, and consistency and did I mention the oodles of patience?

What to do with 24 extra hours?

Most likely the same stuff I always do: commute to work, pick up the kids, play outside if the weather holds out, walk the dog, make dinner...blah, blah, blah.

I wanted to do something out of the ordinary for leap day for the boys so after pick up we are having a scavenger hunt in the house to find something that is not the same and out of the ordinary.

For Ben: new Superhero bedding

For Ian: a new book (in his bed since we don't allow books in bed due to tearing them up). Although after loosing yet another solo shoe last night in the grocery store I think he should be getting replacement shoes. As a bonus I should consider giving him a roll of duct tape for his sponeaous stripping.

Last month I capped off January with an update on my 2012 goals: February Update

Family: Still trying to milk every minute I can get between pick up and bedtime with the boys. With the crazy mild winter we have spent so much time outside playing. Yet another reason I love my house is the neighborhood to discover on walks to the nearby greenway.

Exercise: Again with the warm weather I have been neglecting the gym for daily 2 mile walks with the dog. I'm back to going consistently on Saturday am for weights and more intense Cardio. With only a month until the next surgery I hope to add a couple more days to get in and work out to build back some stamina.

Sleep- SCORE.SCORE.SCORE Can I just ask where I found the time to work online. In the one month since I have given up this job (and yes the money) I find that most nights I am asleep before 11pm. Granted I do the tour of Bill's office couch, downstairs couch, and finally to bed.

I am also finding that post surgery I just really, really tired. Maybe from being on my feet traveling floors and wings all day or maybe it's just taking more time to recover but I'm making the time to sleep and it's paying off.

Time: I *wish* I could say that I'm suddenly on time. How about I'm trying to build time into leaving to make it on time. How about I'm leaving the house consistently to make it on time to work. How about that I've been super conservative about who/what is getting my time right now. I think just being conscious that this is an ongoing issue and working everyday to just do better.

Wasn't that a goal for 2012 to strive to perfection but be able to live for satisfaction.
Happy Leap Day folks. I hope you fill it with whatever you needed/wanted to do the other 365 days of the year.

The Post I'm Not Writing Today

The one where I tell you that all weekend we dealt with a child with a highly contagious disease.

Big ol' bullet dodged and as I write this I need to find a big piece of wood to knock on. At pick up last week we found out that five kids in Ian's class had come down with Hand, Foot, and Mouth. Great. In a class of 9 kids we were bracing for appeared to be a likely ick-filled weekend with a miserable toddler.

Come Friday night, all day Saturday, and again yesterday we searched every inch of Ian's body for tell tale symptoms. His teachers believed that based on when kids reported sickness that if we got to Saturday without fever we were in the clear.

Ian was out a couple of days last week as we were at the beach and then I kept him home on Tuesday to be on the safe side after puking in the car on the way home. Luckily the puking was only car-sickness and the days away from school obviously were the days he would have been exposed.

Other than another cut on his chin and big ol' bruise on his forehead I think we dodged a bullet. We still played the weekend low just in case as not to expose Ian to anyone else other than family.

I'm very happy to report that this was our Saturday night, celebrating Bill's 37th birthday with a cake make by Ben (with help from mom).

All hopes that I'm not jinxing my fearless Ian who is one step away from a urgent care co-pay at all times.

Drop and Give Me 20

Yesterday Ben's school held a Community Helpers Parade. I have to admit I took the easy road when the directions gave 2 full weeks to make your child's costume.

Hello existing holey knee, well loved camo pants, shirt with a helicopter (underneath), and favorite dress up jacket and hat.

Ben told me he was the only "army man" in his class. Bill reported he counted several doctors, scientists, and even a chemist. At pick up I saw a full on FBI vest and hat on a tiny, tiny girl. Sadly no insurance agents or those in cubicle hell to be found.

Ask me how the conversation about not bringing anything resembling a gun to school went?

A shade off from perfect

Amazing long weekend vacation along the NC Coast. So much so that I'll just tell it in pictures.

Boys in Hammocks: aka Ben and Ian were filthy after falling into the dirt underneath to get out.

Only a parent of boys would have worded this sign.

Ask me how much I feared Ian was going to jump off the top of this fort, thus the mom death grip ensued?">
The only time I ever hope to see them behind bars

Just after this shot the boys were jumping off and rolling on the ground. Surprised?

Big ol' cannon and behind it a big ol' freighter coming into the port to unload.

***If you look closely Ian is chasing Ben from behind***

Favorite shot of the whole vacay


What else did we do? We swam in the indoor pool, built a giant racetrack on the beach under 70 and sunny weather, taught Ben how to play teatherball a la Napoleon Dynamite, visited the Aquarium, ate lots of yummy food, watched Muppets Treasure Island, and ventured out to a Civil War fort.

Tons-o-fun on a much needed unplugged family weekend.

Little man boobs or pec implants... so can't decide?

From a walk yesterday with the boys. Ben is totally into a superhero phase (lifetime commitment if you ask his father)

Ben asked to stop by the goose house.. aka the gazebo on the neighborhood walking trail where the geese all congregate and poop.

Not sure if this shows the beginnings of some man boobs or he is gunning for some pec implants.

Either way, he's got his mom's genes.

Heading to the beach for the long weekend tomorrow. All plans for the indoor pool, movie watching, walking on the beach, flying our kite, finishing a book, and sleeping.

Could you pass the goat?

Last Saturday I spent most of the day working with the Kenya team for team building, fundraising planning, and trip logistics. Over the next few months much energy is going into getting this trip from planning to reality. Our lunch which was prepared by a church family of East African origin, was an example of standard meal of goat, cornmeal mush called ugali you use in place of silver wear, cassava, and kale. Believe it or not it was really good.

Our team is comprised of 15 people, half of which are parents and their high school aged kid. It is an awesome dynamic to see parents working with their kids to get ready for this trip. So much to say that the thought has crossed my mind of if I would ever do a trip like this with Ben or Ian.

I've been asked by several people just what we are doing while we are in Michura.

1.We are helping the community of around 1,500 people build a clean water project, i.e I will be digging trenches, laying pipes all while wearing a skirt.

2. What up with the skirt? The area is very conservative, meaning ladies cover legs as well as suggested arms. I will be investing in some super cool clothes as it will be spring season while we are there with daily highs in the 80s. Since we are at the equator I will be slathered in 50+ sunscreen.

I'm looking for suggestions on shoes as I am planning on tennis shoes with my skirts (lovely). We have a 30 min walk from where our bus will park once we arrive since the village is located where the bus cannot travel. We will be carrying in our daily supplies including water, food, and hand tools in backpacks.

Our heavier tools will already be at the work site since there are teams traveling in March and July to also work on this project. I am not kidding when I say that over the summer I plan to be working on stamina and endurance for this trip.

3. Is it safe? At before nightfall we will return back about 45 mins to our hotel in Kusumu which is on Lake Victoria, near the Ugandan boarder for dinner and what I imagine will be collapsing into bed. We do have indoor plumbing while at the hotel, but obviously not when in the village. Yes, upon hearing this I still wanted to go.

Since we are literally where the roads have no names, we likely will be stopped in transit with animal crossings. Overall the area is safe with little concern to be robbed or stopped when traveling. We are traveling with two Kenyans that work for our parent non profit 410 Bridge that will help translate as soon as we reach Kenya. On our last day we are going on a safari as we make the 4 hour drive back to Narobi from Michura. If anyone is injured we have access to medical care in Kusumu or if need be evacuated to Narobi.

4. Relationships- On our first day as well as last we will be participating with the local 4 churches in a community service and meal. The meal in particular will be prepared using our clean water and food as one major concern we all have had is being sick and unable to work. No cheeseburgers expected, likely more goat.

During the day we will also be working with and meeting members of the community in between working on the pipline. We've organized ourselves that each day we will visit families, the school, the pastors using our translators during a part of each day while others on our team are working outside.

There is a large focus on not just showing up, working and then leaving at the end of the day, rather on cultivating our relationship with Michua. Several long standing and future projects including building a health clinic and secondary school are in the plans for future teams. Water is of the most important and urgent concern as each day the villages have to travel several miles to the nearest water source.

So to answer what has been Bill's biggest question. What part of crazy are you wanting to do this?

I really have no other answer than what I have already written about wanting to be part of something bigger than myself. I am moved by what this church is doing not only locally but also thousands of miles away to make the lives of people better.

The idea that right now a community of families are going about their daily life just as I am and a matter of a few short months our worlds are about to collide is kinda amazing. I fully look for this to be a life changing experience, thus making all the work in the next months worth every bit of the work now as well as once we are in Michura.

Singing From the Same Hymnal

A couple of weeks ago Bill and I were at my consultation to plan my 2nd surgery. Much of the discussion turned to recovery and expected help needed. At some point my surgeon looked at us and said, "you two are singing from the same hymnal and I have no doubt that like before you will rely on each other to get through the first hard week."

Very, very true that after fifteen years of marriage that love is best expressed in how Bill took care of me not only when I couldn't do even the simplest of tasks for myself, but before when I was scared about the possibility of not waking up to see the boys or him again. He is one of the few people that I let in when I am vulnerable and needing reassurance. He never fails to point out reason when I need to be brought back to earth.

Don't even ask about how he feels about me traveling to Kenya. He might stow away on the plane last minute.

On this day filled with expressions of love, knowing that someone has my back, regardless of circumstance is the best gift I could ask for.

Plus Bill knows I will kill him if he pays a ridiculous markup on flowers today.

in'

How it is possibly Friday? With the load of laundry that has been moved from bed to basket, back to bed, ok you get it been a busy week. Not that anything earth shattering happened, but what's been going down at Casa de la Vinson?

Bad behavior a disciplin', Ian multiple mess a cleanin', Bunco a winnin', Appointments a-makin' for pre-op labs/testin', Summer Camp enrollin', Brother birthday gift a mailin', passport a dealin', school open house attendin', and weekend plans a makin'.

This sums up my week.

Weekend filled with plans for a date night to Angus Barn, workday for Kenya trip prep, VDay kids party, and the usual unfun chores.

Back next week to finish up some posts in draft form. In trying to stave off the nasty cold Ian has had all week, I crashed early almost every night falling asleep with the same book on my face on practically the same page night after night.

Note that I found the book cast into the basket of laundry also still on the bed more than once this week.

An Occational Friday 2012 Series- Project Runway

Over the course of last month I completely cleaned out my closet of anything too big, not worn, or looking remnicent of somthing worn to a INXS concernt circa 1987. I had some clothes more than 20 years old that I finally tossed including my well worn Celebrate Freedom: Read a Banned Book t-shirt.

The end result was 5 pairs of pants, 1 skirt that are currently wearable. I sorted out through tops and kept only those I currently wear. Amazingly when I cleaned out the two bins of pre-prego spring clothes I discovered I have several shirts in color! (as well as waaay too many black t-shirts.)

Check out that green sleeveless dress on the left. I haven't worn that puppy since spring of 2005. Unless someone points out to me that I'm sadly out of fashion, come a warm day I'm all over wearing it with those awesome 5 inch wedges from last summer.

I feel good that my 3 trashbags of clothes were donated to a work collegue. Her sister is newly back at work without larger professional clothes after a 2 year lay off. Sure.

I have hestiated buying anything until post 2nd surgery. I can make what I have work and have bought a couple of assessories to pull some outfits together.

First up was a skinny black patent leather belt to go with the black and grey herribone pants for work. Both pairs well with a pair of black patent leather stacked heels. I still am looking for a pair of metalic or gunmetal colored flats.

I found this beauty to go with cords and jeans.
I LOVE this belt and even had a couple of my teenage girl students ask we where I had gotten it. Does this mean there is hope yet I may have some symblence of style?


Yesterday I paired it with items I already had including Gap kakhis and a layered Old Navy jean shirt over a blue t-shirt. While I think it needs some type of necklace, I think this came together well.

I've never been a big shopping kinda girl, but I tell you I find myself stopping and looking more and more whenever I can still time minus the kids in tow.

Deloise, Beatrice and Hopefully Me

Earlier this week I had the pleasure of helping surprise a much loved and respected colleague on her last day of 35 year career teaching primarily freshman English. Really, think of dealing daily with some 14 year old drama for HALF your life.

Delosie deserved more than a cake, she deserves the chance to enjoy a book not assigned for class reading. She was the real deal, an old school teacher with more tricks up her sleeve than thought possible. The kind of person you recognize that what they bring to work each day is part determination (see 35 yrs of FRESHMEN) and part magic.

As one of the few remaining teachers from our original 40 that helped build and open my school from the ground up, I have nothing but respect for the thousands of students that passed in and out of her classes. They are the better for being in the presence of academic greatness.

Monday night I was introduced to another person that six months from today I hope to have the chance to meet. As we were going through pictures from the most recent team trip to Michura, Kenya, one of our leaders stopped on a picture of a striking woman standing proudly among her students in an open-air classroom.

Beatrice is the villiage solo teacher and has organized a women's empowerment group. She has been a key player in helping the town communicate with our church's involvement and agreement to partner to build a clean water project over the course of 2012. Everything about Beatrice's inviting smile is a reason to stand her classroom and watch her in action.

As another semester has started and is rolling along uneventfully. I am back in my element doing all the routine things I can do in my sleep. All week in the back of my head I have wondered how much what I do everyday is not unlike what this amazing woman is also doing under the most different circumstances.

I have been working on drafting and editing (and re-editing) what essentially is my fundraising letter. I don't want to simply say, "hey I'm going on this trip, give me $" Instead I want to share the smallest of reasons why partnering with the amazing team of teenagers, their parents, other teachers, and our leaders is worthy.

Supporting me/us is also intentionally investing in the lives and well being of other families just like theirs.

Over the next 6 months we have a ton of work fundraising ahead. Already planned include a Mulch Madness event to spread mulch in surrounding neighborhoods yards, a food truck rodeo and tag sale, drive in summer movie event, and even a video game tournament (did I mention the teenagers on this team.) It seems like each idea brought to the table spreads into more connections. Lucikly between 2 summer teams there are 40 people to spread the work.

I cannot tell you how excited I am to to see this trip to fruition and most of all to meet the people in the Michura community, Beatrice being on the top of the list.

When I posted on my Mondo list that I wanted to find a church for our family, I never imagined where pew-sitting is taking me.

At Least He Didn't Do the Worm During Carpet Time

From Ben's behavior contract on Friday.

My response back, "I guess it wasn't PE day?"

A proud, proud parenting moment.

Sadly I busted out laughing in front of Ben.