Monday, February 28, 2011

Finished for February

Last day of the month. In keeping up with smaller, more manageable month-long goals in 2011. This was a big ol' month of FAIL on many goals.

Here's the recap:

1. Work Plan that involves not working past midnight. Massive fail on all levels. Retooling thinking amount of summer courses as well as picking up big item writing contracts. I STILL do not wish to be punching a 6:45am time clock for a day of demoralization, but still I'm slipping back into ave 5 hour nights to get it all in. For me to stay at home and do all the things on the horizon I do need to be working, but the amount is negotiable.

2. Sleep- Massive Fail. It's amazing how much better I feel and can do when I get just one more hour of sleep. I think 6 is my magic number. Shooting for it in March. On that note we are on another crazy early waking and/or nap strike from Ian. Good God child you have to sleep. Today he was up just after 5am and took all of a 45 mins nap all day. Paired with lots of late nights I am running on empty.

3. Ben/Kindergarten decisions- Sat through 6 dog and pony shows in little chairs. Punted on the last two in favor of the time to finish the contract (not at 3 am). Filed our application online with only one school listed. Most likely we will be at our base, but someone has to win the lottery.
Why not us?

4. Dr. Appointments- Done and Done and Done. Included was my unrehearsed decision ending therapy in the next couple of months. What I could have bought with all that money? Just like staying in this house, I never planned to stay so long.

5. Bill's Birthday- Preschool selected decorations, brownie covered Oreos, I was asleep by 9pm. Semi-Fail with redemption soon with an adult dinner out.

6. One new Date Night location with Ben. Also a massive fail, as I have not actually been the one doing date night with him once all month thanks to work. Huge thanks to Bill for picking up my slack.

7. 20 miles or 300 mins- SUCCESS. Will clear 200 miles this week for 2011. The one bright, shining spot this month was serious stress reduction by exercise.

8. Getting Going on Getting out of this House- Have started asking around for realtor referrals so only a partial fail.

At least there were only 28 not 30 days to feel like every day I was drowning. Lots of time logging the miles exercising thinking about retooling the sleep/working issues in March and into the rest of the semester.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Show Me the Mommy- Total Mom Bag Envy

Post up today about Total Mom Bag Envy on Mini Moms. Looking for total a reason to be the envy of all your mom friends with a swank new handbag? How about purse envy for a diaper bag that doubles as a funky, swanky and crazy useful purse.

Pic of me today in WDW mode from the post along with a write up of the best purses that I have ever owned. I'm SO not a girly-girl but I would fight someone attempting to steal this purse.

Although this bag is currently so nasty on the inside that I think I *might* need a round of Hepatitis shots to continue carrying it around.

Seriously, love this bag for lots of reasons but NOT looking like bears and bows and all things baby sealed the deal. Huge thanks to a friend for encouraging me to spurge and buy not only the purse but the matching wallet.

Crazy, Busy day. Deadline extension for one of my part time jobs is a blessing and a curse. Revisions for about 30 of my 100 questions drafted for edit. YUCK. Picked up 7 more kids on this the last day of drop/add so lots of square one make up plans with kids 5 weeks into a class. At least all this stress is related to more $$$.

I added up how much sleep I have gotten this week and needless to say it's less than the worst week with a newborn. Major, major reconsideration on tap as I can't keep going at this level. Crashing to commence as soon as Bill get's home tonight from the gym.

Happy birthday Bill......SNORE.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Time to Call a Realtor or Maybe a Marriage Counselor

A major plus of the 4 hours in the car on Monday was time to chat some important topics: surgery timing and need for help with the kids, vacations for this year and next, how/when do we get out of this house. The last has the potential for a serious smackdown pitting Vinson vs. Vinson.

The back story is we bought our house (3 B, 2.5 Bath with (small) bonus) in 2002. At the time we had been living in an apartment, paying off two cars and 2 sets of private college loans, my then grad school loans. We had decided that until we could have 20% saved we would stay put.

Enter my dad followed by my grandmother's death within 3 months. Suddenly I had a downpayment plus the remaining 20% thanks to a small inheritance. We never, ever planned to be in the house more than 5 years and maybe, just maybe adding one kid. We opted for something midway between our then 45 min commutes in opposite directions.

We settled on a small town 25 mins away from where we had been living. It was a great starter house and I was sold with I saw the screened in porch. We didn't really consider schools because at that time we 1. thought we would be out before we had to be concerned 2. there was only one elementary school in the entire town (as well as one grocery store and one gas station).

A decade later we are still here. In our 1,400 square paradise. I do still like this house and if it was 1,500 ft bigger AND in a closer location AND with better schools I wouldn't think twice about staying.


We now have a very active almost one year old. We have a dog that HAS to be walked everyday because she is part Jack Russel and part crazy. We also have hit the noise tolerance of what we can deal with on a daily basis. You cannot go anywhere in this house when everyone is awake and not hear unending noise. Even if I lock myself in the master bath with the exhaust fan on high I hear Ben's antics, Ian's shrieking, Bill's video games, and my NPR that seems to always be on in the kitchen.

We have hit the threshold about when I expected, when Ian was transitioning into a full fledged into everything baby to toddler.

Our plan is to spend most of this year getting everything done to this house needed to put it on the market by next spring. Albeit we have already: replaced the HVAC unit, water heater, installed hardwood floors, part of the roof, stripped and painted the master bath.

We still have several large projects to do and seeing that I will PAY any day over risking going back to counseling, I'll farm DYI out to a professional.

So in the car we both made our dream lists of import aspects in a new house. I'll go first with my top 5

1. A solid base school with chances of redistricting slim.
2. Location that is within a 10/15 min drive to Target/shopping/everywhere I currently go in 30 mins.
3. A fenced in yard
4. A mudroom or other daily collection point off the kitchen (and not on my kitchen counter)
5. A family/child oriented neighborhood with kids in the age range of the boys

Bill's (I am not making this up)

1. A theater room
2. A theater room
3. A theater room
4. A theater room
5. A stone patio (because he already spends ***So*** much time outside).
Note sarcasm

Actually overhead in the car. "I didn't get the one thing I really wanted in our current house, and I WILL be getting it in a 2nd." After 17 years together I can tell you if he wants something, he will at some point get it.

Yes, I agree that since most homes in our neighborhood are considered "swanky" if they have hardwoods, a theater room was most definitely not this side of town when I bought our current home.

I can tell you that a theater room is most likely only to be found in the nicest parts of town. Parts that we most definitely do not have the money to move into unless we both sell a kidney and maybe also a lung.

So bring it ultimate negotiation. I'm willing to take on stadium seating for a fenced in yard to exile all things that smell and pee standing up.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Do, Did, Didn't

I DO need to be grading papers, updating parent and school contact logs, calling students. I'm not for the next hour. I have to take some time off tonight. I'm waiting on the "relax at home" in the WAHM gig to start up.

I DID spend WAAAAY to much time reading through the tons o answers to the tons o questions I posed to the surgeon in the running. Much discussion gone down this month about logistics, timing, recovery, really needing some help with the kids. Very ready to get a date on the 2011 calendar.

I Didn't need the awkward silence when I ran coming up to stay for a few days to help with the boys from family. Nor did I need a story about someone who had massive complications following elective surgery. How about non-judgmental support? I'll take that.

I DO need to reconsider moving forward on the current working situation. I'm beat with all the late nights trying to get the test item contact finished and keep the 3 classes running. 6 more new kids since Monday. I totally acknowledge that I took on too much this spring and scale back for summer and fall. Say that last sentence again, outloud, and then don't negotiate.

I DID think that taping both the Indy 500 and MotorCross cycle racing was a good idea. Anything not to watch Minute to Win It in nightly rotation.

I Didn't need to spend the time to write this blog post, but I took an hour break to watch Good Wife and reconnect with life. Good call. Will Gardner time is always well spent time. Going on year 22 for my big ol' crush on Nawanda.

I Do need to keep up with the daily TO DO list, even if making it brings on convulsions that it just can't all get done. It's the only way I remember to do anything outside of writing it on my hand. I'll never get it all done, who does?

I did take Bill up on his offer to write a computer program to help me manage some of the tasks added to my online classes that are monotonous and crazy time consuming I love him.

I didn't (or wish) I hadn't taken Ben to the Grocery with me yesterday. What is it about the grocery that brings out the very worst behavior. I punted on date night with him because of the Come to Jesus Meeting about wandering off, again.

Thinking that even if I move around am teaching and nap time for Ian (Yikes) that it's worth it to go without him. I seriously feel like the worst parent ever after almost every trip due to the stress. At least this time I didn't hear my name over the loudspeaker.

Big ol' WHINE of a post. That's all I got folks, to bed, to bed.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Operation: Parent Fail

The Plan: As soon as I was able to finish up with my students to get in the car and drive 2 1/2 hours to Charlotte to IKEA to pick up a bookshelf for Bill's office.

On the way home, stop for about an hour at the NC Zoo on our way home as a reward for good behavior all weekend.

The Actuality: Left here later than planed, took an extra time at IKEA when Bill decided to also pick up a coffee table and a lamp.

MY IKEA trip? One pack of napkins. I'm a super cheap side-kick.

In the car I check the Zoo'a website for hours and see if we can get there by 4 then we would have an hour before closing. Posted is 9-5 daily.

The Fail: Cars still at the Zoo, so I assume that all is ok. I ask Ben to name the 4 animals on the polar bear side he wants to see most as this is going to be a short visit. Bill takes Ben in as Ian is sleeping and I start working on writing test questions in the car to make use of the time and quiet.

Within 5 mins I see Bill carrying a sobbing child as the zoo was operating on winter hours and had just closed.

Serious Operation Parent FAIL. Much promised for a return visit soon filled with cookies, rainbows, and a call ahead to make sure I have the hours correct.

Friday, February 18, 2011

500th Post = Liminality

Just in case I needed to be reminded that warm, sunny days are about to be my constant, the view of my burgeoning fig tree awaiting spring.
Happy 500th post! How do I celebrate? Since I had intended to post my Mondo List for this milestone I had to come up with something else. Today's milestone post? Taco Party worthy indeed. Minus the body bags, illegal fireworks, and yes tacos.

So how about before the recap, a (very) quick look back in a bizarre 3rd person interview with myself. Play along and comment today.

Why start this blog? Summertime 2007 competition with a couple of friends with one year olds trying to reach productivity among chaos.

Name for blog? From the Tori Amos song "Tear in Your Hand." Be glad I didn't go with my all time fav album. 1989's Pretty Hate Machine-NIN. Considered the name Reznor Vinson. Ok, not really but it was a great joke since Ben had a due date of 06/06/06.

Milestones- Have managed to post 4-5 days a week consistently. Took the entire month of October, 2010 off from all social media including blogging, FB, Twitter. HARD but worth it!

Started a 2nd Freeze Ahead Food blog, twice, that is often neglected as a red-headed step child. But since I alone use it to quickly find my own recipes it's staying put (for now). Major goal once life slows down to digitize my entire recipe collection. Likely never to happen.

Write for a Family Disney Blog "Growing Up Disney" as a Minnie Mom. Guest post up next Friday about doing WDW with a 6 month old. Necessity- one kick ass momma bag that holds everything.

Currently in a Fitness Competition with Bill (and others) to move 500 miles in 2011. I'll add I'm closing in on 150 miles. It's February.

Favorite posts- Tie for the top posts that make me laugh Open Letter to Mickey Rourke, Hot House Action. Runner up- Redneck Rivera Recap , Prerequisite: Scooby Doo Shirt Required

Sentimental- Welcoming Bennett Davis, Welcoming Ian Joss

Past participation in friend's blog series- Participated in Finished for Friday, Phone Photo Friday,and currently Show Me the Mommy

My Own Past Blog Series with favorites- Waiting, Tales from the Little Potty, 10 for 2010

I never expected that a summer to do list with 70 items would lead to this ongoing place that is purely mine. While I do write about my kids, my family, occasionally work as a high school teacher, it's my space to collect the rambling, the funny, the serious, the things I have a hard time saying outloud.

It's proof that even the ability to put it out there, even when I regret the overshare, is evidence that I am not the same person of 10 years ago, 5 years ago, even 6 months ago.

From chronicling my thirtysomething life whether just for me or the friends that stop by to read and occasionally comment, I'm so glad I kept a good thing going.

So with the last 500 posts behind me, where to go from here?


1. the transitional period or phase of a rite of passage, during which the participant lacks social status or rank, remains anonymous, and shows humility.

2. the condition of being on a threshold or at the beginning of a process

3. a psychological, neurological, or metaphysical subjective state, conscious or unconscious, of being on the "threshold" of or between two different existential planes

4. Me. A changed mind, body (in progress), and soul. A lasting sense of happiness and contentment that only before were glimpses. While not completely because of this blog, but definitely supported because I wrote about the movement from one place to another.

Happy 500th.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Why Amy Chua Would Likely Punch Me in the Face

Any conversation about Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is SO 2 weeks ago, but I can't help but think of what she would say about my bailing on the final 2 magnet school visits next week.

I bet she would punch me in the face or at least lock me in my room to do math.

Actually I found her interview on Fresh Air to be so much more telling about her parenting choices minus all the controversy that followed. Her kids, her deal. My kids, my deal.

I don't need to read her book to know that she most likely would be that parent who was demanding why their child had to wait until the district policy of Grade 3 for AG testing. The one that I rolled my eyes at last week while I paraded around in rooms of little chairs watching the dog and pony show in all its regalia.

Wait, I think I am that parent.

As I have detailed ad nauseaum about the quest for a preschool to fit our family on this blog. Overhead in the past 4 years was that I seem to have a snobby attitude and expect the unrealistic. I didn't take any offense at the characterization, because it's in large part true. But, I will counter that I think Bill and I made valid justifications for the transfers.

The bottom line is that had I never worked in the magnet school side of our local school system, I likely wouldn't have ever considered this route for my own kids. I used to joke that there was no chance I would ever pack my kid on a hour long bus ride at dawn just so they had the chance to take The History of Feudal Japan (a real elective at my old school when I was there.)

In the past 3 weeks I have visited 6 schools, 2 more on the calendar for next week. I'm basically at the same decision I was at the start. Most likely going to apply for the ONE school I could see Ben fitting in and throw hope to the wind.

Most likely we won't get in. What the leader all the tours DIDN't share with the masses of wandering, amazed parents was the real formula for getting in is not a straight lottery. Rather, unless you fall into a few set categories of minority group, overcrowded base school, unpopular year round option, or your Free and Reduced lunch status your chances of getting in are about 10%.

I'm ok with this. I think Ben will thrive at any school and the schools in this district are good across the board. Ben does all the normal, age appropriate things he should. As much as I would like for him to test AG for the guaranteed college bound/honors track and extra opportunities of being a "good" kid that teachers like. I also taught many, many past students that weren't classified AG and also not future serial killers.

Bill and I are still very split on this issue and even after asking him to go with me to tour the final school he still doesn't totally get it. I agree with him that not being about to tour our base school gives up a comparison to magnet. But herein is the divide between us.

I've seen/worked both sides of tradition vs magnet. I can wholeheartedly tell you that the opportunities and options are just not there for most base schools. You will get a great education indeed and some of the schools in parts of the district have consistent top notch scores, teachers, and curriculum. But what you won't get is curriculum that takes the standard course of study way beyond your idea of what happens everyday at school.

Part of me that has the reservation of the great what if? What if I didn't at least try to open up this option for Ben. Is it worth the drive, the extra time for after school activities, what is his brother has no interest, do we force him to also go or play the 2 school game, what about the possibility of him never going to school with kids in our neighborhood.

Amy Chua would see it as a parenting failure to settle to be at our base. I definitely know that type of parent, taught kids with those parents, and swore I would never be one of those parents.

All I have ever wanted for Ben and later Ian, are opportunities. Yes to recognizing trade offs and yes to making the best of whatever school you are in knowing that full on that your kid in the long run is going to be fine.

If Amy wants to get all Tyler Durden on me, I will gladly take her on for calling her kids garbage. That would be the biggest parenting failure in my book, much more than settling on a kindergarten class.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

You Can Have Your Cake and Eat it Too (just maybe not THIS cake)

I asked my friend Eileen of Taco Party fame to make a baby cake for an up-coming shower I'm co-hosting. Because she is awesome in every way legal (and some illegal in 14 states,) she said yes.

The other co-host had asked me what I wanted to do when she first approached me so I offered the cake, food planning, and something crafty if the mom to be wanted. After all, I don't WANT to force anyone into Popsicle stick-land unless they are ready and willing.

So Friday night Eileen and were texting back and forth and I threw out some cake ideas leaving it to her imagination to flesh out the final product. By the way, here's what she made for Ian's shower. She has MAD skills.

I kid you not, here are the 4 examples she sent back. I have to include her commentary because if this doesn't make you laugh hysterically on this Wed morning, nothing will.

Enjoy. You'll thank me once you are blowing coffee out your nose.

There's this one: which to me looks more like a crime scene... "Giant baby smothered by blanket and trampled by tens of other, smaller babies".

Or this one: which is kind of a cute idea, albeit a reminder of just how grotesquely round every part of you has become, but might be kind of morbid when it comes time to cut the cake... I'm calling this one "">I pray to God this is not a red velvet cake because if I go all 'C-section' on this sugar creation and it looks bloody inside I'm going to hurl for reeeeealz."

**********Uh, Hello Laura, was this the inspiration for the massive boob/belly cake from MY shower?****************

(thank God you didn't find the last example or I'm sure I would have gone into labor laughing any more than I did

This one: It will make her wonder if y'all think she took a wrong turn in life, ended up working at the zoo and befriended a gorilla who had a bit too much fun with her in the bushes. Title for this one? "Sock monkey babies who are a product of zoo love are creepy"

Warning... This one is the most over the top cake I have ever seen. Including the afro shaped cake I once made in high school for a Blackplotation Movie Night viewing of Dolomite.

I laughed so hard I was crying and woke up Bill who asked who would 1. make that? 2. Share that link?

Thanks Eileen for bringing the over-the-top funny. You are awesome.

You might want to not open this if small children or your boss is standing behind you.

I've saved the best for last: No title could do this justice, I stared speechless for about 10 mins.

Good Lord. Did anyone actually eat that creation? Did the mom to be have a REALLY good sense of humor. I really need to know what type of friend would use marzipan for evil?

There are things just not needed to be seen at a baby shower, hell anywhere in public.

Or was that pubic?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

No Flowers Required

I take that back, I will ALWAYS take my fav yellow lilies any day of the week.

Bill and I have a rule of nothing over 10 bucks for VDay. Usually we exchange cards only and do a small basket for each child. Ben got the basket-o-Diabetes tempered with two new books, Lego City Construction and an uplifting book about Monster Trucks.

LOVE this post about spending Vday with boys. Make that little boys that love their mammas.

We had a fun Valentines day weekend complete with making cookies. Hence we divided the batches into 1. Ben decorated = no one will eat 2. Heather Decorated = given to teachers, my friend Eileen as a thanks for watching Ian last week, and Bill's office.

All weekend it was really beautiful and warm. We took advantage of any and all chances to be outside.

The littlest Vinson turned 10 months yesterday. We celebrated by going to library story time, getting new books, and taking the dog and Brother Ben to the park before a VDay dinner at home.

At 10 months of yummy baby goodness Ian: pulls to stand, cruses furniture, stands with a hand holding on, steps in place. Puts everything and anything in his mouth. Hates to be confined in any type of equipment or a car seat. Likes to play peek a boo and claps. Still thinks sleep is for the weak with a hit or miss nap more days than not, is eating table food, hates to be fed and wants to feed self, loves cheese (MY boy), still has no teeth, refuses all attempts at using a sippy.

At our 9 month appointment he weighted 18 lbs and was 28 inches tall. A growing boy can't even begin to describe him. He loves any and all noise. Especially those he can make or repeat. He recognized his name usually with the word "baby" attached, NO, and I swear he makes some sound that resembles a MaMa.

In the past month he actively wants Ben to play with him and Ben is all too happy to show him the tricks of the trade. My house constantly sounds like a bus station and looks like a Hot Wheels factory mixed with play kitchen equipment explosion.

Watching them together is all I ever wanted. Minus some extra sleep and a mute button.

Happy 10 months my little Valentine.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Sunday Special! My Future FB Status as a Mom to XY time 2

From a friend's Facebook status. I can't help but see my future.

My 12 year old made new labels for his dresser drawers. The one for long sleeved shirts says:

"Wear this when you want people to concentrate on what they're doing, not on your guns" Short sleeved shirt drawer says: "Ok, you can show them off today."

Friday, February 11, 2011

Show Me the Mommy- Team 317

***Warning, ABC After School Special ahead***

Read on the pics are worth it.

Earlier in the week Bill and I were contacted about being interviewed for MoveIt#2011. We talked it over and wanted to do a joint interview later this spring so we could include pictures of Bill's first 1/2 and my first race in March.

For good measure I also want to include a pic from the Cary Road Race in April that we now have decided to run as a family in the 1 mile fun run category. This is a request from Ben who loves to run around the track at the park. When offered with the chance to run with mommy, daddy, AND Ian he was all in.

Last weekend I posted the following pic to facebook with the update, "I've cleared 103 miles to date in the MOVE IT #2011 Challenge. Vinson vs. Vinson competition is on like Donkey Kong."

The bottom line is that the two people competing are no longer married, fat, sedentary, and living to eat together. Bill would also say (as I) that while we are not thinner but definitely healthier than we were at age 16.

When Bill was involved in this challenge last year I was insanely jealous of his weight loss and personal goal adding running to his post surgery plan. After all I was 38 weeks pregnant on super swollen feet at his first race.

I could not be more proud of how far he's come, how far I've come. It's not just about a competition between us. Other than weekly negotiating who gets what nights/days to exercise this competition is really against ourselves.

To know us today is to understand how much choosing weight loss surgery saved our lives. It gave us years back to enjoy our kids, to support each other, to not live in a shell of a life destine to life out a fat, unhealthy, and unhappy existence.

For the all reasons we both personally took a leap of faith in going the surgery route, I can tell you that its not about the miles or the time each week spent adding movement. It's about being totally committed to living each day with a grateful attitude for what we have back. It's also about supporting each others major lifestyle change day after day.

From this: June 2004 in Vegas where we drank and gambled our way down the entire strip on our final night.

To this: Jan 2011 heading out for my birthday dinner which we split and still came home with leftovers.

317 lbs gone. 2 people lost and 2 people gained.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Fire Sale! Paid 15k, Will Settle for Half

Baby for Sale: 10 months, cute although no resemblence to mom, loves to feed self, squeal, and smiles when brother calls him, "the baby IN." No return policy for lack of sleep you and he will get.

I'll premise this by saying I do believe I passed my craptastic gene for sleep to both kids. As much as I have tried to enforce a reasonable bedtime, make allowances to be home for naps, encourage wind down activities before sleeping neither kid is a good sleeper.

I don't want either of my kids to be sleep meds dependent or get to a point where they just exist in a comatose lack of sleep state like mom. I know that when sleeps goes I am a real joy to be around and frankly that's when my mental state nose dives. Parenting comes with the expectation of crappy sleep. I am trying to make it a non-negotiable for myself no matter what I have to give up.

Ben is the lesser of 2 evils. He's outgrown the nap, but since they still do them at school he is often still wide open at bedtime. Luckily making the bath, book, day wrap up helps settle him down. If I had a playroom I could remove the ongoing stimulus of toys in the room.

Right now we are trying the "you are four, pick 2 books, an animal and one car." Anything else found in the bed goes to time out for a week. After 30 mins lights are dimmed to the point he can't read the books or see the car although, like his mother, he could talk on and on in the dark.

Ian. Good God almighty. This kid hates sleep. Even as early as last summer he would only take one nap a day no matter how much I tried. He's not always crying but talking, babbling, bouncing on the side of the crib squealing.

At present he takes one combined nap around noon to two on a good day. A bad day (like this entire week where he has refused all sleep except in the car) means he is up from 6/6:30am until 7/7:30 pm straight. I don't do late afternoon naps because frankly by 7 pm, going on 12 hours of childcare, I'm at the end of my rope. I want kids winding down, for Bill to get home, and honestly start working on all the home/school work that hasn't gotten down or only has little pieces finished between baby duty.

This would be why I work most nights until midnight or after to find time to catch up. Also I'm a night owl by nature who hits a 2nd wind about 11 pm and I have to MAKE myself call it and sleep.

So in my attempt to try to get him to sleep more (at all) during the day I'm going back to 1. trying to get him down earlier for some type of am nap. If this means not going to the gym, I can move the time or suck it up for the greater good. 2. We need to do a full on CIO. I went back today while he was screaming going on 45 mins to refresh my memory of the method.

Ben was at daycare and I frankly don't remember if he refused to nap like this. I do know that we went through a patch of waking up in the night as well as just not settling down at night. Total typical baby. For the middle of the night wakings we did CIO to get him back on pace.

Another glaring part to this situation is that if in the car for any amount of time, Ian falls asleep and it's damn near impossible to get any more sleep out of him. Hence the need to build more sleep into the day so he won't sleep in the car.

It would also help if I didn't live a good 20-30 mins away from EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. Even Target. Yes Target is not even close.

So added to the reasons we need to move, my kid needs to sleep.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Little Fockers

No not the movie kind, but rather the the two children that should be sleeping are doing anything but. Alas Ben has is having a party upstairs and Ian slept all of 30 mins in the car and then has been a total tool the rest of the day. I've run my own stairmaster in the number of times I've been upstairs tonight to enforce bedtime.


Sometimes I tell myself that when they are both teenagers and want nothing to do with me other than to stock the fridge and paid their phone bill, that I would do anything to have them at this age for just one day. I'm fairly sure that one day of preschool insanity and fastest baby alive and I'd be happy to return to the cold shoulder of the teen years.

I know in my heart of hearts there's truth to that sentiment but really I could have done without being met at the gym to hear Ben took dodgeball a little too seriously and tackled a 6 year old at the knees OR that Ian cried/tried to escape out the door through most of my appointment this am.

Speaking of that, 2nd plastics consult down and after almost 2 hours of meeting I'm just about ready to be booking this bad boy.

Make that bad boys as we are talking 2 (even 3 according to this surgeon.) There's a post or series of posts soon to come if I can have a conversation outside of my head about this whole process. Thinking of running a contest for a name for the multi- volume postings.


I will tell you that today's Dr. Troy looked strangely like John Waters if that helps you generate ideas. God help me if he thinks Divine from Pink Flamingos is my standard of beauty.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday Morning Quarterbacking

No expectation that the Superbowl will be mentioned in this post. Alas Bill and I are most likely in the .01% who don't watch the game and instead finally got around to watching the Social Network after Bill's months long resistance.

My Friday call to punt on the SC run was exactly what I hoped and needed. Instead of that 12 hours of driving and loss of the weekend I put it to use.

Massive amounts of work Friday and Sat nights and a chunk of Sunday to get all 3 classes 1st progress reports created, grades uploaded, personalized messages, and OUT! Making a promise it's the only super late night this week.

Needless to say picking up 2 times the students this semester I'm cutting and pasting my way into smarter time management. I'm still picking up new kids so the next weeks are still going to be hectic trying to play catch up.

Dinner with friends for a birthday Friday night, 5 mile run for me and 6.5 for Bill, make up t-ball class for Ben, grocery and party supply pick up, catching up on sleep, loads of laundry.. the list of stuff done goes on.

Best, spending time with the kids relaxing watching Wipeout eating pizza Sat night and then playing outside on Sunday.

Busy week of 2 magnet elementary school visits, appointments including plastics take 2 this am, attempt to finish another 30 miles this week on the treadmill. I also have 2 more batches of questions to draft and submit by Friday.

I made the right call. All plans to go in a few weeks. My mom is being tried on more new meds this week to help with the confusion in hopes that she can be moved soon. Brian is going to move ahead with seeing what nursing homes can take her on a short term basis and arrange transportation for her dialysis.

When I talked to Brian last night he filled me in on the latest and reminded me that he too hadn't had time to take down the Christmas tree that is STILL up. All plans to try and get it down on the next trip down as some type of warped family time.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Show Me the Mommy- Where I Should Be, But Am Not

I'm punting on a planned weekend run to SC.

Yes to feeling guilty, esp after talking to my brother last night. I cannot figure out how to lose 12 hours drive time and most of Sat hospital sitting when I have mounds to do to get progress reports out by 8 am on Monday.

So there. I'm choosing me. My very limited time. The need to sleep. The desire to spend the time with my Bill and the boys not caretaking for another weekend.

If that sounds harsh, please don't judge me.

The last trip a couple of weeks ago was really hard, miserable, as in uncharacteristically crying in car on the drive home bad. This has been a long, trying week. Not the kids are sick, life is falling apart kinda week, just things that have taken my time and worn me down. I have a lot to try to knock out by Monday busy.

I have plans to go another weekend, most likely if a potential move to a step-down rehab wing or possible nursing home stay happens soon. Insurance is running out at 90 days so we have to prolong where we can put her and stretch the benefits. Coming home is not an option due to the amount of help needed beyond just my brother.

Since I haven't updated, posted, hell even mentioned how things are going to most anyone including family, they are still going. Yes she is still in the hospital. The 7th makes exactly 2 months to have missed Christmas, Birthdays, Life.

Infection has finally been contained, but cannot be totally gotten rid of in the hip and dialysis port thus we are looking at long term daily IV mega antibiotics. Confusion is better, but still an ever present. She is still in restraints.

When I wrote about the long-haul of parental caretakeing, this is the long-haul.

I hesitate to even post this quick phone pic from the last visit down, but it's a part of my life and has been for the last 12 years of parental flip-flop game.

Come midnight on Sunday when I'm going to bed, not JUST starting work I'm going to be really, really glad I made this call. For once I set aside the guilt of not being a good daughter and instead tried to be a good mom, wife, and somewhere myself for recognizing priorties.


Thursday, February 3, 2011

The BIG and the little

And sometimes I just sit back and and smile.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

And in the Shortest Month of the Year,

February Month-Long Goals on the horizon:

1. Make a work plan that does not involve after midnight work. A cut off of 11 pm would be even better. Work Smarter Not Harder is my mantra this month. Picking up more work/$$$ is not worth regretting this sweet WAHM deal.

2. Sleep- Get it, no less than 6 hours. Did I not learn anything from the nuttiness of the summer into fall than protect it however I have to?!?

Along those lines, don't write/send anything more than an grocery list on no sleep without a serious sp/gram check. Good God what went out on Sunday night just before I fell asleep sitting at the kitchen counter at 1:30 am.
See #1 again. Repeat as needed.

3. Register Ben at our base school and throw our hat in the ring for magnets. Try to hit the 3 school open houses. My gut is telling me that the base school is going to be my default but I can't let this go knowing just how many opportunities exist.

4. Appointments: 2nd plastics consult, dermatologist.

5. Bill's Birthday. He already bought his gift, but Ben lives for a good party. Most likely involving doughnuts.

6. One new date night idea with Ben. God help me but thinking I am going to set up a preschool "Minute to Win It" in our house.

7. Log 20 miles/week and/or 300 mins of exercise. Add more outside runs to prep for races. I will trade tv/internet wasting for exercise daily if something has to get cut for the almighty sleep.

8. ONE Date night with Bill. Not on obligatory V Day but maybe for a joint bday/vday with NO kids.

9. Get the ball rolling on getting out of this house". Start getting some recommendations for Realtors to come tell us what we need to do to prep this house aka $$$ Pit to get it on the market in 2012.

And I'm off for a(nother) great month.