Divide and Conquer

Each Tuesday night is date night with Ben. It's been part of our summer strategy to work on discipline by giving him one on one time. Our ground rules are: that we alternate weeks with the other parent at home with baby, try to do something different each week, and that bad behavior cannot take this night away. Date night happens even if he's acting like a total tool.

In the rotation are: Chick Filet Kids night, 1.50 theater kids movies, picnic at the park and feeding ducks, and the ice cream parlor. Last night I took him to our local kids museum's $2.00 family kids night. We got there only for the last hour, but it was just enough time to play together and talk in the car. Last night's topic was about bad dreams and Mr. Steve at daycamp.

We checked out the outside exhibits including this awesome sustainable garden. Inside we did the items he typically gravitates towards car building, giant block room, driving the bus, and the balls that dump from a giant pig into a pit.

He also loves to role play so we spent some serious time making lemonade and then selling it to other kids and then played Vet and brushed fake dogs. Note, this last activity we can do for free at home.

This is a great museum and if it was closer I would consider a membership. But since we already have ones to Durham Science and Life and the NC Zoo, it's worth it to check this out on occasion for our date night. Total cost for dinner and admission was $10.

On the discipline front as a whole the last few weeks have been MAJOR improvement from earlier in the summer. Ben has had several great weeks of daily good reports at camp and aside from some pent up weekend crazies, he has made great strides.

We have been talking to him about the move to the new school. Part of me wants to just let him go back to the familiar even if it's a long drive each day. I fear that moving to a new place, new teachers, and friends we are going to regress back to early summer behavior. So, much to think about, visit the new school again, and believe it or not let him be part of this decision.

Is that crazy to ask your 4 year old their opinion and actually take it into consideration?

Momma Reece

Today is the first day back in workdays for most teachers in the state. Guess where I'm at on a weekday morning? Drinking coffee, doing launrdy, and watching sweet baby play in the bouncy. Guess what I'm NOT doing? Sitting in a welcome back assembly watching all day powerpoints about school scores and being pepped up to start a new year.

Over the weekend one of my favorite SuperTeachers came by to visit the boys. When I think of people that saved my ass first year I think of Kim Reece. My first year was a decade ago and as I started I will be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I had a great mentor during student teaching who believed baptism by fire method of learning. While others in my masters program where lucky to take attendence for their teacher, mine was having me teach the federal court system two weeks after I started.

I owe Marty B giving me confidence I never knew I had for the year we worked together. But with that said, nothing compares to having your own classes that you are totally responsible for day after day. Because the county I currently work in is near impossible to land a job just out of school, I taught for my first 2 years in a neighboring rural county that at the time had one very large high school.

I worked in a large department of over 20 other teachers that took up an entire floor. In my interior windowless, hot as hell room I moved all my stuff in and started to plan for the 3 preps I had been given including an AP class. Needless to say I spent around 60-80 hours a week for the next year including most Sundays trying to stay ahead. I don't think people outside education undertand how much work adding one new prep for a new class means: creating lesson plans for 90 min blocks, finding media that can be supported, working within the confines of a state mandated objectives (78 in civics alone with 800 terms for the course.)

In walked Mrs. R to the resecue with her lessons, open file cabinate, listening ear, and years of tried and true classroom management techniques. She was mom to both me and my friend Laura H who was also a new teacher next door. I cannot tell you how much I owe Kim for saving me that 1st year. As a graduate of the high school and long time resident in the town she knows (and has taught) most folks in her 25+ years. Her creation of a Mock Life Project is the reason that I wanted to teach, to help instill some real and meaninigful skills outside of sit and get teaching to the state test.

Her B/G twins, who were sweet Freshman my 1st year, are out of college getting married and heading to law school. Just saying that makes me feel really, really old. Just that just as Kim would agree that it's not the bureacatic aspects of the job but the kids are the reason you come back year after year.

As I start next week with my fall sections online I'm reminded that teacher like Kim are the reason that kids succeed. They have a personal cheerleder in their corner that refuses to let them get lost in the system.

A Weekend Phone Photo Friday-SERENITY NOW!

Do you need to ask how this went down? *Hint* it involved my Dyson "animal" vaccum. Aptly named.

Note that the 10 cans of playdough and subsequent mess are behind me, ground into the carpet. The same new carpet that I put two cats down to get in hopes of selling this house.

The chair and leggo table are now out of the room. If he wants to get to his shelves he will have to scale them. May I point out this would be good practice for prison.

The Last Time I Reference Hobos

So after publicly declaring that I have the oral hygiene of a hobo yesterday I am indeed the owner of a mouthful of new fillings. Since it took 7 shots to numb me up I opted to fix another small one on the same tooth. I could not feel my face given that all sides top and bottom were numb until afternoon.

The boys were FABULOUS yesterday. Ben asked me if I wanted to lay down with him so we curled up in his tiny bed where I was out cold and woke up covered in stuffed animals. He was all too fascinated and kept wanting to rehash why only Baby Ian had gone to the dentist.

Ian was a sweetheart and minus having to change a poopy diaper while totally drugged up he was a happy, content baby. It probably helped that I think everyone in the office carried him around during the 3 hour visit.

My dentist is quite chatty so I brought my own music to zone out. Instead I think he talked louder and his assistant turned up her morning TV viewing of Dr. Phil, The Doctors, and then the Price is Right. After crashing super early thanks I feel much better today.

So I am a total coward when it comes to dentists. It's like I can deal with pain most anywhere else on my body but not anywhere related to my face. Given that I never had a single cavity until after I had Ben and found out I had nine, I think I get a pass.

Actually being post gastric bypass it is more likely related to vitamin deficiencies which I thought I was treating with a hella lot of supplements I take each day and extra bloodwork throughout the pg to check levels.

Can not wanting to go to the dentist be a valid excuse for being done having kids?

Tattoo Removal

Reason #912 I should have turned around on the drive home from the pool when it was too quiet. It took a good 30 mins to remove all those stickers aka "tattoos" as Ben so proudly told me as he begged me not to rip them trying to remove them.

Ben demanded band-aids to cover all the places the tattoos had covered as a small amount of leg hair was removed in the process. Uh.. no you get 4 bandages, pick your favorite places you LA INK lovin' preschooler.

Speaking of pain, I'm on my way to have FIVE cavities filled post pregnancy. I had 9 after Ben. With those numbers you would think I have the oral hygiene of a hobo.

The Insanity Meter

As of around 2 am I am DONE, DONE, DONE with grades and contacting schools for my summer class. For the next couple of weeks I am free to get done with the neglected summer to do list.

Item 1- Clean out my classroom and haul 10 years of teaching home.

I am driving solo with the boys to meet the inlaws in Hilton Head in a couple of weeks. Seriously looking forward to a week of an extra set of hands as well as the only real vacation we are taking this summer. We do have a big family trip in the works for October.

This past weekend was filled with highs and lows mainly on the parenting front. I'll give it 1-10 on the insanity meter.

Friday afternoonn- Met up with a friend contemplating IVF while the boys played in the pool and Ian napped. Insanity factor- 2 (the boys did great and Ben had 5/5 great days at camp)

Friday night- Great family pizza night, Bill and I got caught up on True Blood Season 2 after the boys were in bed.

Sat- ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE before 7 am. Ben is in time out before 7:30am, the first of many 4 year old showdowns. The whole day is like one extended fight with him. We swap kid duty half way through the day. Ben is a holy terror until he goes to bed. We bypass watching tv in place to talk about what is triggering behavior outbursts. Also, after 2 years my Obama car magnet was taken off my car while we were out to dinner. SUCKS! Insanity factor- 10

Sunday- I took the boys to the child activity center to head to the am spin class I've been going to the last month. It's typically a great workout but I should have known something was not right when the substitute instructor put on the best of Superbowl highlights instead of the usual visual of rolling hills. Add to it, his playlist was no less than 60 mins of speed metal. Really dude, this was NOT what I needed today. I thought about bailing half way through the class. I stuck it out and hit the pool with Ben afterwards where we managed to loose half of the pool toys we packed. Much crying and mom checking the drains. Insanity factor- 5

When we got home both Ben and Ian took a glorious hour long nap at the same time giving Bill and I both time to get some time to get something done for work. I almost cried that I had to wake either of them up to head to a big 1st birthday party for our friends' daughter. Ben so rarely ever actually sleeps anymore and not sleeping usually means the late afternoon until bed is crazy town at the house.

The party was really cute in a 1st birthday's are really for the parents way. I had gotten a super cute ladybug hat for winter made for Gretchen on etsy. Ben was well behaved until we got home and he was wired on sugar, the heat, and way to many times playing Peanut Butter and Jelly Time on the hour drive home. Insanity Factor - 7

Luckily yesterday was good from start to finish minus once throwing a screwdriver from helping replace batteries in his jambox for afternoon dance party. Thankfully his playlist is restricted to the car.

Result of a Preschool Hip Hop Dance Party

I have to admit I stole this idea from Beth and have for months been planning on setting up a car playlist for Ben. We are in the car at least an hour a day most days, shuttling somewhere and if Ben is being grumpy the drive is painful.

After attending a recent Family Day Y camp (a hip hop dance off) Ben begged me to have a dance party at home.

I talked to one of the counselors and asked for some of the music that he has been singing in the car. The list is not totally complete but as of Thursday pick up I am proud owner of my first Hannah Montana song, set on repeat 4 times on the drive home. Oh brother.

Some songs aren't that bad. I'm thinking after playing this list repeatedly on an upcoming 8 hour solo drive to Hilton Head I'm going to be beating my head again the steering wheel.

Apache (Sugar Hill Gang)
Ice Cream Freeze (Hannah Montana)
Real Gone (Cars Soundtrack)
Peanut Butter and Jelly Song (DJ Chipman from The Buckwheat Boyz)
Life is a Highway (Cars Soundtrack)
Woody's Song (Toy Story Soundtrack)
Jai Ho (Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack)

Walking the Plank

Last night I was making dinner with Chef Ben's help. He decided to proceed to pull out all his hats (don't ask why they are in a kitchen drawer) and try them on Ian. Too cute! .

And YES I know that using a Bumbo on the counter is like literally making your kid walk the plank into the floor. No worries, I was within arm's reach. We learned the hard way with Ben, who managed to get out of a Bumbo and was sitting on the kitchen counter in about .0934 secs. Yeah.. not a fine parenting moment.

Hot Pocket

Last weekend Bill and I had 24 glorious hours sans kids. Back in April in our newborn haze Bill found out through Twitter that one of our fav comedians were going to be within driving distance.

If their is one thing I want to be remembered for its loving to laugh and making others laugh. I spent much time in detention for either being late to class or being part of a disruptive pair with my friend Nathan P. We singled handed were responsible for our 9th grade Science teacher retiring early. Yes, she actually told me this when I saw her after I graduated.

Bill and I our entire 16 year relationship have seen more comedians than music concerts. In fact we have planned whole Vegas trips based on who was going to be headlining.

We had a fab time. I booked a suite at the Marriott, sat by the pool and read for a full hour minus MY own screaming kids (other than the family reunion that took up the entire 2nd floor, pool, lobby all in matching tshirts.)

We had a great dinner at the Chesapeake House (actually sat at the same exact waterfront table as we did on our June Beach vacation), enjoyed the show, and leisurely walked around an outdoor shopping area afterwards and shared ice cream at Maggie Moos. The presentation was in the Alabama theater complete with this ginormous painting circa 1987 of the band. I don't know what is worse the vomit sweater, sunglasses, or the use of a directors chair in a painting.

We did find the MOTHERLOAD of redneck/Dixie Flag shirt shops. I had to hold Bill back from buying a General Lee shirt from Ben not to spend my $$$ supporting the ROOM of confederate flag shirts. I now know where the state of SC shops. Minus the speeding ticket we got coming back it was a great break, although I missed bedtime stories with Ben and rocking Ian to sleep.

Several folks mentioned they had never heard of Comedian Jim Gaffagin. So to check out his most famous bits about the nastiness of Hotpockets... Enjoy!

Hole in One

One year ago today we found out that sweet baby Ian was a reality. My apologies to those trying to play Wacky Golf in Destin, FL when we got the news. Jumping up and down on hole 11 should have been a tip off we were shooting MORE than a hole in one.

Man, where did the last 12 months go?

A Late Phone Friday- Bathing Adventures of Fake Baby

Ben is absolutely fascinated when Ian takes a bath. Usually there are about 900 questions pertaining to if he ever took a baby bath and did he ever pee on me (yes to both.)

This morning he decided that fake baby needed a bath too and then proceeded to wash, dry, diaper and then put the baby in the Bumbo seat. Too bad his version of helping mom with the real thing involves hugging the life out of Baby Ian or telling him not to pee.

Fake Baby by the way... a girl named Baby Ian

T-Minus 10 hours for 24 hours sans kidos. Suite at the Marriott, Dinner at the Chesapeake House and comedian Jim Gaffagin. I would have stopped at the Suite. Period.

Random

No real post of importance so how about a bunch of random thoughts:

1. I have poison ivy... AGAIN. You would think I would learned my lesson from last year. Ah, NO. Good news is that instead of trying to treat it at home for a week I went to the Dr yesterday and got on a steroid cream with instructions to return for a shot if not better by tomorrow.

2. NO shots. I freakin' did enough shots to last a lifetime last summer. I recently found our IVF basket in the closet, literally frozen in time, instructions, sharps container, everything untouched. It was sobering to look at all that stuff. I also can't seem to throw anything away.

3. Ben pooped in his pants at TJs yesterday. He was mortified and was really afraid I was going to be mad at him. He wanted to take a bath when we got home he was crying on the way home. Either I have permanently scarred him for life about pooping or he has made pooping the end all be all by himself.

4. I got EIGHT hours of sleep last night. I went to bed before 11pm. I can't say that has happened once this summer. Unfortunately I felt really bad when I got up. Go figure, but I did take 2 Ativan so I am wondering drug interaction with the steroid? Better than the night I mistakenly took 4 and slept 14 hours straight. Thankfully Bill got up with Ian both times.

5. Skipped am workout (see #4), but have gone 6/7 days for 2 weeks. Tried a variety of classes and love being back to a routine for exercise. Bill is restarting his Couch to 5k for a run this fall or spring.

That's it, got grading to do, and attempt at housework before I go get Ben from daycamp and than to meet up with Chrissy and the boys.

Star Wars Cookies!

Since it was over 100 on Sunday we skipped the pool and stayed indoors. We had given Bill Star Wars cookie cutters for Father's Day and a hot oven seemed JUST the plan for a hot day :-) Ben has been pulling them out for a good month and talking about "the Vader, he is a Vader" with no concept of the holy grail SW holds in the Vinson House.



We made several batches and Bill took most of both to work. Ben got into decorating them with pink icing and sprinkles. Note those didn't go to work. Believe it or not but Ben has yet to see Star Wars. He has a shirt and talks about it, but Bill for his own reasons has yet to watch them with him. I'm sure when he does we will never hear the end. I'm sure he will want to play with the BOXES of Bill's childhood toys in storage or already on display.

We were super impressed with the detail once baked and the quality given they were from Williams Sonoma was totally worth the price. Thinking about the SW pancake molds next.

And the answer...

to Friday's question: I'm taking the year of leave postdated from 4/14/10 until 4/14/11. My hope is that no school will want someone for the final quarter of the year and it buys me time to make a decision about outright resignation until next summer.

While it may seem like given the options this was the only real choice, I did think long and hard about what I want my life to look like while taking this time.

Bill and I talked over our fabulous dinner out Saturday about what it will take to make this new situation best for all. I appreciate that he heard my concerns and in the end left the decision to me.

I'm working on my mental list of how to make this increased time with the boys work for their benefit and to not loose myself in the process.

Funny that I asked 9 people for advice, 8 agreed that the leave was the best (and most reasonable) option. I'll take those odds.

The Question

What to do about work. My decision needs to be finalized by the 25th. Here are the options:

1. Return to work full time. Both boys would be in full time daycare that is closer to home. Would consider keeping the one section of the online class to stay in the pool of teachers.

2. Resign. Any vacation/sick converts to leave that can be used if I return within 5 years. Ben would still go to preschool for part of the day.

3. Take a one year leave of absence from the start of maternity leave in April. I have no guarantee that my job at my specific school will be saved. An equal job somewhere in the system will be saved with expected return start of April, 2011.

I have been asked back for the fall to continue online. I have for an additional sections and have been told if enrollment is there I would be considered. When I would work on the class, as most students would be taking the class in the afternoon or at night, is a major consideration as this is prime family time.

To be honest I have been thinking about this decision since I went back after Ben's birth. I was lucky that I had almost 3 months over the summer with him as a newborn. What I returned I transferred to a closer workplace, but traded it for being on the ground floor of starting a new school. It was a very hard year in which I put back on 20 lbs, never exercised, and took an almost one year hiatus from going to therapy.

I was tired, burned out, and felt like I traded work for the little time I had with my baby. It's not a plan to repeat and when I was planning a 2nd pregnancy, I was also planning a long term work decision too.

I started by writing out goals-

1. Quality time with our family. In particular, time alone with each of the boys
2. Reduce feeling anxious and frazzled most days
3. Give myself as many options for a return to full time when circumstances are right
4. Make a serious attempt to loose weight in prep for post bypass plastic surgery. Personal goal by early 2012 to have lost 70 lbs

Making the decision based solely on money is not in the cards as without infant daycare there is only about a 5-8k difference to keep 2 sections of online + the summer session.

So my real question becomes will be a better mom to my kids if I am at home with them for more of the day? That may seem like an asinine question to ask but I know that more time is not always quality time.

This summer as a trial run has had been a mixed bag. Discipline with Ben has been rough and I willingly admit that I haven't been the parent I have have needed to be at times. Much of this due to when the going gets tough I drop out becoming detached, despondent, and isolate myself. Parenting took a direct hit with some bad decisions. Early in the summer, parenting was at my worst.

I have a serious concern that if I am at home without feeling like I have structure and direction, I am setting myself to feel trapped and without options. The last thing I want is to have made a decision that is not good for me as well as hurtful to my kids.

Bill and I have a sitter for a first night out alone since Ian arrived over the weekend. We are going out to celebrate his one year out from surgery. A whole dinner to discuss and finalize this plan as a couple as well to talk strategy with Ben. Maybe not a romantic evening, but one well needed.

Camp Mommy Extended Release Recap

Great news late on Tuesday that the surgery went well for our friends. Our little house guest left Wed afternoon with his dad to head home to the coast. Overall Ben and Eli played well together much to my refereeing. Ben was coming off of restriction (again) for hitting at camp so I expected a rough patch.

I had already shared my apprehension with the family before they decided that Eli should stay with us since this is the summer of discipline hell. This time Ben is facing a week of restriction if hitting at camp (or home)continues.

We did have quite a bit of "I'm four, you're three" bossy behavior. We also had our share of general whiny behavior by Ben while Eli was a dream child. Ben is soundly at the let me have an audience for why I am wonderful stage. FUN :-(

I'm having serious 2nd thoughts about leaving Ben next weekend for our overnight 24 hr trip. A friend happened to offer to take him after hearing that our original plan had fallen through. I have big fears that the continued hard work we have put in these past weeks could be diminished Ben is ugly and is not curbed with time out or restrictions. I regret that when we planned this trip in April in our newborn stupidity, we didn't think about Ben, not the baby, being the one with issues. If we need to call it next week I think it would be worth it to loose the tickets.

To recap the boys wore boots and shorts the entire time. I think they would have gotten IN the pool in boots if I hadn't stopped them. They played everywhere that cars, a giant garbage truck, and a giant Leggo plane could travel in our house.

We made mummy dogs and pancakes and peanut butter play dough. We had some bedtime homesick tears that were soothed by iPad games with Bill. I found Ben asleep at the foot of Eli's bed around midnight. Overall a good visit and moreover great news of the successful surgery

+1

Today is the extended release version of Camp Mommy. I will be driving out in just a bit to meet my friend's husband and pick up their son who will be staying with us overnight and most of tomorrow.

I *hope* Ben and Eli will play well together. We are wheeling to the pool this afternoon and Laura's decision to keep the other baby will allow me to be a bit more hands on with the boys. Playdough, sand and water table, water slide, making Star Wars cookies and mummy dogs are all on the agenda in the next 24 hours.

There are moms, super moms, and then Laura Hunter. Indeed a super mom to not only had a difficult twin pregnancy and birth but to have traveled each week to UNC since April in preparation for this day during the newborn period of handling twins. She is a good friend to entrust her oldest son to me.

My thoughts and prayers are with them this morning as they start the first of several surgeries for Baby Leo. My prayers are also with the amazing team of surgeons at UNC that have cared for them to this point and know what direction to take with each progressive procedure.

As always when we where making plans for the pass off last night, she was upbeat and positive and the definition of an indomitable spirit.

Thinking good thoughts. Thinking good thoughts. Thinking good thoughts.

It Started with Watching a Roomful of Preschools Doing the Hustle

That was Friday at noon pickup and the Christmas in July assembly at the Y, cookie decorating, and ornament making. Ben was estatic that I made this family Friday (I missed the first one and swore not to again.)

I finally got around to booking a hotel for our overnight trip to see Jim Gaffagin on the 31st. We had been waiting until we had Ben settled with someone for the overnight we will be gone before booking.

Bill and I dropped the kids at the gym child area and both worked out Saturday (nice)

I did an early am spin class for the first time yesterday. Great workout and I am crazy sore today.

Both days Ian stayed in the gym childcare while I took Ben to the pool post workout. Result, successful Ben and Mom alone time both days and Ian was out of the heat.

Started True Blood Season 2 with Bill and for some reason I rewatched season 1 Project Runway while working on class. Oh the drama, and I so got sucked into hating Wendy again.

Saturday night out as a family in between torrential rain and hit the mall. I ventured into H & M for the first time. Another goal for weight loss is serious shopping.

Typical weekend chores and with the rain mowing makes the list this week. It's either that or consider a goat.

Speaking of this week, it's busy with houseguests up midweek and getting my game on to watch the gaggle of boys coming to the house.

Add to it the push for the final weeks of class and getting the nonworking kids going with status reports and daily contact. I managed to call all of them yesterday so I am ahead on one task.

Today's plan: progress reports to sent out to all kids and their schools, taking the dog for repeat bloodwork (no seizures but she now has little bowel control due to the meds side effects), grocery run, and if I can pull it a 7:30 Zumba class tonight.

Loving the Life You Live

"I have to say that you are like a model Mom in my book...always out and about...but I have yet to make it to the pool or gym...way to go"

Once home I had this line in a fb message from a friend. Seriously, tonight of all times. OMG, were you just at dinner with me? Obviously not because nothing could be further from the truth.

I thanked her for her sweet comment and then laughed out loud at the ridiculously of the idea that I am some model mom. Even in my Martha Stewart/SuperNanny dream, "model mom" has never been reality at Casa Vinson.

It's go time for a decision about returning to work. I appreciate friends hearing me when it seems like a no brainer of a choice. This has been a hard call and I have spent time the last couple of weeks researching my options. Bill and I are going out totally child free next Saturday to celebrate his 1 year out from surgery. I know that a final decision will make the short list of topics to discuss.

I wish I could revel in that compliment because it's somehow true. One of the biggest challenges I have is loving the life I lead, not the one of my dreams that likely is never going to come to fruition. Loving the life I have right here in front of me day to day with all it's frustrations and parts that you just have to get through. Part of this decision is what do I want life to look like for the next year or longer. Can I be content and like the person I am with whatever roll I have casted myself.

Glad I'm making a pros/con list, I would hate for someone to think I wasn't organized or had my shit together.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

"The 4 year old lies and often the more convincing the child is, the greater intellectual aptitude"

In the past month I finished NutureShock and Your 4 Year Old, Wild and Wonderful. Both dedicate a section to preschool lying. I had a hard time believing that lying is actually a measure of cognitive development until I read the explanation. This is not to say that the whoppers uttered of late by Ben are indicative of future academic success.

Instead it makes me realize that his innocence is fading into burgeoning boyhood. At this point he lies to avoid punishment or to gain something he wants. Luckily he's not very good at it and usually his grin gives up his true intentions.

Both books have given me much food for thought about parenting at this age. In light of family dynamic changes and frankly some of the worst behavior has occurred in the last six months. In part this is due his changing position with the new baby, household stress of the last months adjusting to life as a 2 kid family, and the dreaded 3.5-4 year old time frame.

But as hard as this is to admit, one of the reasons the last 6-9 months in discipline hell is due to bad parenting. Among the casualties include differing disciplinary styles giving mixed signals to Ben and not being as strict and following through when the situation calls for some hard core parenting.

One of my major goals this summer being home most of the day with Ben and identify what triggers bad behavior. I totally acknowledge that I have to sleep in the bed I made because I took the easier road of giving in because I was tired, pregnant, stressed and ready to phone in some parenting. This summer is prime time to turn around certain behaviors before we return this fall to a new school.

Since Bill and I have identified that to Ben, any attention even negative attention was part of the ongoing issue we are trying some new tactics. I am looking for individual time with him throughout the day and opportunities to give him chances to show he is a big brother that can do things babies can't. Bill is also doing a once a week dinner out with dad. We are also going to do a Sat class for Bill/Ben this fall. At this point we are looking at a gymnastics or beginning karate.

The final chapter of Your 4 Year talks about Year 5 being about control and compliance. Really? While I can't imagine an orderly, compliant Ben V it's something to hope for in anticipation.

I Pity the Drool

My sweet boy is 3 months today. 90 whole days old, a 1/3 of your lifetime before you arrived, 1/4 of a year. WOW... time is flying.

Just in the last month you have started smiling, reaching for objects (usually a car handed to you by Ben), love crinkle books, rattles, and tags. You coo when in your bouncy seat or when sucking on you thumb and finger. Like your brother, you shunned the paci much to my sadness. You are becoming a little person with your own identity.

Your biggest accomplishment to date is rolling from back to tummy. You become frustrated or konk out in some interesting positions most nights when you realize you can't turn back over. You have also learned to scoot yourself to the ends of you crib much to our amazement you have built up strength in your legs.

My guess is you already know being a little brother to a active 4 year old, you better bulk up now to hold your own. At your 2 month check up you were just shy of 11 lbs and 24 inches. Just like your brother you are middle of the road.

Your hair has remained a strawberry blond and your big blue eyes are wide with excitement. Since you decided that sleep was cool we are all so much happier. You included!

While it's taken some adjustment and I'm still getting there, know you are loved and were wanted beyond reason. As we celebrated Sunday with friends, who all loved on you in your Mr. T onsie, I celebrated that this past month we are finding our groove doing the baby/mommy encore thing.

Happy 3 months sweet Ian (My Little Mr. T)

Goodness Grows in NC

After one of the BEST WEEKS EVER in discipline at Camp Mommy I decided that Friday that we would go on a trip with a treasure to a surprise location.

We drew a treasure map to follow since we had to make a couple of stops before we got to the secret location. We sang Ben's fav new song from camp all the way there much to Ian's unhappiness (crying). Then once we arrived at the Raleigh farmers market we had to plan our attack as protectors (or 'tectors as Ben is calling himself these days. I don't think the mounds of fresh veggies needing protecting, but I played along.

We went over the ground rules of no running, hands in the parking lot, and don't eat random samples of food unless mommy says ok.

I got great deals on plants to replace those that didn't survive the recent heat. Ben picked out a watermelon, and with his new frog change purse he bought a cookie. Part of the new discipline strategy is money each day for staying in his room at quiet time that he can redeem at the ice cream truck.

Ian was sleeping peacefully until Mommy's traveler spilled in his carseat soaking him. Ask how the cup turned over and I will answer you with that only a mom carrying a giant redneck Dicky's BBQ cup with NO lid is asking for problems. Also ask who bumped into the stroller in an attempt to pick up the frog purse.

Fifteen mins later and using all the farmers market restroom paper towels, we left the plant area and headed to lunch. Ben had the Mickey pancake, Mom had a fresh veggie plate and we split the basket of hush puppies and biscuits.

A great day and time had by all minus the giant tea flood. Even Ian, who other than the initial crying, settled down once changed and fed. Once home Ben help me shuck the dozen ears of corn that we took off the cob for corn/smoky bacon chowder to freeze. We sliced peaches and plums for dessert, sprinkled tomatoes with blue cheese, and threw steaks on the grill before dad got home.

check in

yep.. it's time (again) to say where did the week go? Since it's confession time how about the last month, last few months. I feel like I have been in a big ol mommy fog albeit that I do get some pass for the whole newborn thing.

Needless to say it's been a busy summer, but not being on the go as with years past. I'll repeat that need be so prove the SAHM I have become.

I'm home with both kids for most of the day, balancing a part time job, make that almost full time learning how to teach online, going to twice a week swim lessons for 8 weeks, helping with the twins each Tuesday, what else can I throw in there has taken time away from trying to post each day. I recently had to make a laminated weekly work/home to do list that I kid you not include the words, "pack clean underwear" after forgetting Ben's camp bag more than once.

So on that note, I'm finding the grove bits at a time. I'm adjusting to the whole two kid thing slowly, very, very slowly. It's been a good week discipline wise at All Day Camp Mommy. But I am happy that Y 1/2 day camp starts back on Monday. If anything I'll be happy to have a couple of hours minus the background of a freakin' bus station while I'm on the phone with schools everyday.

I got word today they want me back this fall to teach online, but with no promise of number of sections. So now it's decision time and it's funny that I heard back today from the powers that be accepting my resignation from NHS.

There are several posts in the works, I just need to finish them, proof them about million times and then post. Following Moxie Friday with an online discussion of NutureShock is a start for several posts. I have recommended this book to so many other teachers/friends alone and it's really made me think about parenting as well as approach to students. And there is this other freeze ahead blog that I keep compiling recipes for and need to get up by then end of the year. Yeah, yeah...

Think I know where on the priority list that is going to go right now. Looking forward to the weekend with a big grill out/ welcome baby party that we had to reschedule from May. At least it's not at my house and I have been forbidden from helping cook or clean in any way. Perfect.

The Pics Tell All!

Weekend trip to SC in pictures. We decided to stay an extra day and return on Monday. Sadly I didn't get pictures of the patriotic hymn sing that I took her to Sunday.

I thought about it but then figured I would want to remember it for all it's Bob Jones-Esque-Ness. Plus I would need some reason other than to complement the rhinestone hand-sized TEA bag broach the church organist was wearing to take her photo. PLUS! CAN'T.BELIEVE.I.FORGOT.MY.PHONE (thus only camera on this trip)for the crescendo of the weekend events.

From monogrammed lip balm and poopy on the potty cards at Hallmark and the marriage of NASCAR and Fireworks at the WALMART sized fireworks display on the size of the road, it was a good trip overall. I was giddy when I saw one of SC's famous construction sign inviting the other 49 states to one up their safety zone placards. True SC residents really don't shed their true native redneck self and I'm beginning to think I will be reincarnated as a Confederate flag one day. Note it was on full display at the hymn sing on more than one shirt and flying on the back of more than one truck.

Even old glory was honored in more lewd dress code violations than imaginable at the 4th celebration downtown. Best being a duel USA flag into a bra halter top. Again, wishing for photos, but didn't think chancing a slap fight with said accusers who looked like they could kick my ass and then take me home to my momma.

So I give you my weekend in pictures. Best part were the yummy veggies from Brian's garden. Made for a super dinner last night.

Better Enjoy all 10 Fingers Before I Get There

South Carolina bound after I pick Ben up from day camp tomorrow for the holiday weekend. Since my mothers day gift of Bill going with me was just that, restricted to mothers day only, I'm solo parentin' it this weekend.

I really can't wait to see SC fireworks stands in all their glory. I bet all area hospitals will be on full alert for amputations. Speaking of it wouldn't be a trip
without something being broken. Luckily this time it's only 2 fingers and a bone in her palm from a fall at the beginning of June. Small potatoes on the injury scale.

Coolers packed with freeze ahead meals, her birthday gifts, tons of kid/baby stuff to keep the troops occupied, a audiobook for me to drown out Cars, and my patience meter running.

Bring it Patriotic Hymn Sing I'm taking her too on Sunday. Ten bucks says the sermon is about how God wrote the Decleraion of Independence. All I can say is when I get to Hell, I'm getting a weekend off.

180 lb Cherry on Top

Happy 6th Anniversary Surgery Day! Since I have written about surgery twice already there is no need to rehash. I wish I could say that I celebrated it up big today. I don't call a trip to BJs supercenter and splitting popcorn with a 4 year old while feeding the baby much of a celebration.

But it is. The simple fact that I have two beautiful boys as a result of this decision is celebration enough. And that is not to minimize the healthier lifestyle and hope upon hope that a family history of diabetes has been pushed a little further in the future.

The fact that Bill decided to do the same surgery last July and has since lost almost 180 lbs is also celebration. Half a person gone in 365 days. I am sure he will post his own celebration next week likely via twitter, but I DO hope he posts some before/after shots. He is 1/2 the person he once was, but he is twice the husband and father that emerged as the weight was shed.

I am so very proud on this 6th anniversary of my own decision to be celebrating his very successful year finding exercise and a healthier lifestyle was just beginning of what he was going to get back. SO PROUD!

I Need a Hazmat Suit and My 10k Back

Checking in after dropping out of life for the last week and looking like I have been living in a Trailways Bus station. I'm on a long night doing sick dog duty until 2 am switch off and working on my class to get caught up grading and contacting kids not working in the meantime.

Highlights-

- Sick dog getting sicker. Over 20 seizures Sunday into the early am and more again last night. Feeling a hard decision to make coming soon. The Vet is not helpful, more like a shaming, punitive parent. The the medication that makes most animals lethargic makes our dog manic and uberhyper.

- Discipline problems out the ass. Ben was on TV restriction for the entire weekend for hitting his camp counselor twice on Friday. Let me tell you that getting the call to meet with the director in the carpool line sucks.

-On that note we are trying several strategies. This is a separate post later but needless to say we are part of the problem and are working to resolve it. Take tired parents, plus a new baby needing lots of attention, and add difference in discipline strategies and I think you can fill in the pieces.

-Ben cannot get booted from his 1/2 day Y camp as my online class is more than the believed 9-12pm commitment. It's like being a first year teacher learning how to translate the content I know into success online with my students. The good news is that each week has gotten easier and I don't have lunch duty.

- I'm using my afternoons with my own kids at the pool but paying the price in that I work another 3+ or so hours each night grading and calling kids. Our TV has not been on in days, minus my season 1 True Blood marathon last Sat night. SO GOOD!

-Long convo with the powers that be about job security both for Bill and my own situation. It's work decision time about fall options and as always, it's complicated.

- Replacing our AC unit at the tune of 7k tomorrow. We better get something back when we sell this house. A new water heater and AC in less than 2 years and I still have a 30 min commute to civilization. It's time to be out by summer 2011.

-Final IVF claim denied because it was 48 hours, yes 2 glorious days, out of contract. First appeal denied, going for another since we originally got conflicting info on filing deadline. I wouldn't care and should be grateful for the amount we did get covered but it is 3k we didn't have to pay if we had not been lazy asses in filing.

At least I didn't venture out barefoot no less to my local liquor store Friday night in a stained house dress. In a last minute car squealing into the parking lot 5 mins before closing much needed grocery run I was reminded that things really aren't that bad.

Thank you sad old lady for keeping it real and putting it in perspective. You made me laugh out loud the first time all week. I bet you would serve me some stale Archway cookies along with what you were drinking to wash down a really craptastic week.

Need Some Serious Schooling

Short post, busy day into busy night. I just got off the phone with one of my summer school kids. Yes, it's after 9 pm but it goes without saying that when you see an opportunity you take it. In the past 24 hours two real chances to put my $$$ where my mouth is. Chance #1 was yesterday after working the whole day, not just the 9-12pm that I thought I would be working each day on this class did I realize that I had really screwed up.

24 times on 24 separate reports I included a major, major typo on the report I sent to every student, their parent, their school, my online boss. Nice 1st impression.

It's not that I didn't read what I wrote, it's just much like this blog and anything I seem to write, I tend to get sidetracked/hurried and not be careful. Enough said belaboring the point but it's a major note to self for the need to reread, read it out loud if necessary, and always run spellcheck an additional time.

It's not like at my ripe old age I can't learn to be the literate person I want to be thought of as teaching your kid.

2nd chance came this am when this morning with someone in the class. I have been talking with him daily to get started on this class. I am super inspired by his risk taking to ask for help when everything about him says otherwise. My entire class is repeating Civics before taking a required to graduate state exam. Almost all are from a inner city school district where motivation and payoff are key to getting and keeping student attention. Each day I feel like their biggest cheerleader which feels amazing and a selling point to do this beyond the summer commitment.

Got Star Wars Cookie Cutters, Serenity Tickets, AND a Toy Story 3?

Then you got Bill's father day celebration. Funny that 3 different people told me about the Star Wars cookie cutters AND pancake molds when they debuted at Williams Sonoma! Th perfect gift for an obsessed fan that would say he's NOT obsessed in a 40 Year Old Virgin kinda way.

Chrissy and I conspired to get tickets for the Raleighwood Theater Serenity event next weekend. I totally thought I had pulled one over on Bill as the show was sold out when he heard about it. That was until Sat night he told me the owner of the theater was going to sell him a ticket from his lot. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I have already made this great card with our pics superimposed over the fearless crew of a Bill's all time fav Joss Whedon movie.

We grilled out both Friday and Saturday, spent time at the pool, and Bill/Ben went to see Toy Story 3 on Sunday. Good for the kid and the kid at heart.

Happy Fathers Day to someone born to be a dad!

Ask Moxie NurtureShock Friday- SLEEP!!!

Ask Moxie is doing an open discussion each week this summer on a chapter of NutureShock. At Bill's request after hearing about the book on twit.tv and my copy of the book continually being recalled by the library this spring before I could get to it, we listened to it on the way to the beach. Each Friday, Moxie posts her discussion I am going to make my Friday Blog post what I contribute to the discussion.

I LOVE you are doing this series. DH and I recently listened to the book together on vacation in the car. I am a week behind on my thoughts on praise, but plan to comment as parent of two boys. I am a high school teacher (currently teaching repeaters in Summer School where praise is a key element) so I am on the front line of this argument.

On Sleep, the stats are staggering as to how much brain power and opportunity for learning is being lost. I agree that the old adage that getting more sleep makes you a happier more well adjusted person is not the debate. Rather why not insist on the same for children and look at why schools are part of the problem?

As a teacher that starts teaching at the un-Godly time of 7:25 am, I can vouch for the fact that kids come in exhausted due to not being able to shut down before rising before their internal clocks would have them up. Ideally my students are most alert around 10 am, ironically just in time for lunch at my school.
As I was listening to this chapter I wanted to force every school administrator to instead of sinking money into standardized test push & prep, and instead consider buying more buses. As the book details and I can testify to, school systems use a cost effective multi-use busing plan. Who can blame them in this time of cash strapped budgets? Cutting bus allotment seems to have the attractive appeal of being first for elimination in comparison to textbook, class size, or teacher salaries.

There is no simple answer until viable options are on the table and are presented to parents that allows for a later start time. This could include year- round schools/ modified calendar year, multi track options for working parents, split day, online class options. All have benefit considering that the sole reason that schools start early is money.

You wouldn’t handicap your best athlete by not providing the best training, nutrition, coaching, or insist on keeping them up night after night. Why is education any different? If we want our kids to succeed then schools need to investigate differing bell schedule options that must include parent education on the benefit of more sleep. Encouraging parents to limiting extracurricular activities as well as gaming and staying online past a reasonable time should be emphasized as making that parental favorite, the Honor roll.

Happy Camper

Our Summer "schedule" officially kicked off Monday morning and so far I think it depends on who you ask if it's going well. This is the start to the can I stay home instead of going back, summer experiment. No word yet on the verdict, it needs time, lots of time and some serious thought.

Ben is going to Y day camp from 9-12pm each day. Bill drops him at 9 and I pick up at noon. The time in between I am using for my online class as well as getting in a 6 am workout. This being the first week of class I have been working in the afternoons and at night to to get students on, understanding how an online class works, and troubleshooting computer issues with them (that last task is laughable), and grading, grading, grading since the course which normally takes 18 weeks is shoved into 8.

Add to it swim lessons twice a week at 5:30 and we are back to being busy. Ben seems to love, love, love camp when I pick him up. But each morning I have to pull up the pics they send each day to remind him that he had a good time to combat tears and fears. He finally told me yesterday he's sad that his friend from school is not there. So we took the chance to talk about trying new things, meeting new people, and getting to do special things Baby Ian doesn't get to do.

I've also restarted the prize box with a daily sticker chart for being nice to his brother, not hitting, not whining, staying in room for quiet time, and feeding the dog. So far he has not had a perfect day, but we are working on praising effort and redos when the am has gone badly to see the afternoon as a restart.

Ask Moxie is doing a Friday series on NurtureShock and asking for reader comments. Bill and I recently listened to the book on audio on the way to the beach (something to drown out the multiple times Ben watched the Letter Factory). Wow, lots I want to say on this and it's more than a single post.

She started last week with Chapter 1 on Praise. So for the weeks she is holding this discussion, I'm going to post the comment I leave as my Friday post. Up tomorrow, Praise. Hummmmm lots to say on this being a teacher, parent, and in general believer that adults should build confidence in their charges.

Next up... chapter 2, getting sleep. Did she secretly interview me?

rethinking parties that require a shuttle bus

First off, Happy 2 months to my sweet Ian today.

Ben had been waiting for his party for weeks as we have attended the multiple 4th birthday celebrations from his 2006 Babygroup. Almost everyday he has ticked off who he was inviting and who couldn't come to his 4th birthday party. If mad at me or Bill he immediately uttered his now comical phrase, "you're not coming to my party." Really, buddy if we don't come and foot the bill, there will be no party.

My ground rules for this year after the water slide/grill out double family party in my yard extravaganza that was 2009: 1. Not at my House 2. Not with another family 3. No serving lunch if we could avoid it.

In January I started looking at venues and after several great trips to Durham Life and Science in the fall I asked Ben if he would like his party to be there and have his friends ride the train. YES!

So I booked the party with the date of June 12th. I expected it would be hot, but not OMG would they mind if I toured the Dino Dig in the nude hot. At 8:30am when we were uploading the car I was sweating like a sinner in church.

Also unknown to us in January would be that Bubble Blitz would be scheduled on the same day. Since we have never experienced the insanity of Christmas holiday train at the museum, I incorrectly thought it will be a little more crowed but really with all the summer events how bad can it be. SHUTTLE BUS from remote lots crowded B.A.D.

We could only reserve the party room for 1 hour so as soon as Ben was blowing out the candles I was ripping down decorations and loading up stuff to be out before the next scheduled party. Several of our guests texted us that they were stuck in no mans land and were trying to make it. And they did, but I totally felt like they make a 30 min drive only to slam some cake down and be thrust back into the heat.

The positive were that because we got there at opening I bought tickets for all families to ride the train. We actually filled up the entire train! Ben loved it and seeing that the entire day he wanted nothing to do with me or Bill he was all too happy to ride with friends.

Totally dissed by a 4 year old.

Being Martha Stewart wanna-be and also not willing to pay an extra 100 bucks for some employee to do craft time,I brought in foam sun visors and all the items (feathers, glitter glue, stickers and the like) for an activity prior to ghetto cake time.

Sat am I had panic attack that we didn't have enough to do, so I went shopping on the way to the party and got a pin the tale on the donkey game. Bill graciously ran that while I helped kids with visors. We also set up the chairs for an impromptu game of musical chairs if we still needed time filler and a friend ran freeze dance. I have suffered through enough Vacation Bible Schools to slap some last minute "keep kids busy activities" and true to form the kids were busy.

Our Cake Runneth Over- Friday night there was a last minute panic by Bill (and me too I must confess) that after running out of cake last year we didn't think we had enough with the 1/2 sheet I ordered. On our date night, we hit BJs 5 mins before they closed for another cake. Since it had as my friend Gillian commented, "1970s airbrushed balloons on it and was likely on the cover of a REO Speedwagon album," I opened all the unused party favor hotwheels cars and spelled out "4". This just added to the ghetto-ness of the original bright orange and Blue Hot Wheels car cake.

4th Birthday wrap up- overall good to have family here to help and visit, Bill and I got a much needed night out, Ben got so many new toys that I "might" do a massive toy purge before the fall consignment sale cycle.

One parent of a nine month old, who has not been to a gazillion parties in a given 2 month spread commented to Bill, "wow these parties are like enjoyment for the kids, but hell on earth for the parents." Just you wait, your time sitting in the little chairs is coming.

Ben said it best today when he uttered what I will hear for the next 365 days, you guessed it, "I can't come to his 5th birthday party."

Redneck Rivera Recap!

We decided to do a annual family trip to the beach a little earlier this year for 2 reasons. One, Bill has very limited time off with the new job and I need to see how much time I truly need to be available during the day since I have to lead online classroom activities daily and teach what normally takes a semester in 8 weeks.

The boys and I are driving to Hilton Head in late August to meet up with my in laws and the house they have rented for a week, but we wanted a separate long weekend trip as a family.

We went to a resort in Myrtle Beach after friends had stayed there last summer and more recently in May to high praise. Bill and I both wanted somewhere we could relax, not feel the need to get out unless we wanted, and most importantly have time with the kids.

I have been to MB more times than I can remember with friends and family. The drive down is beyond boring. Bill refused to play my game of: name a misspelled business sign, point out a church with the word "Tabernacle, Praise, Full Gospel, or Assembly" bonus pts if they contain all of the above, and are the number of pawn shops= title loan storefronts=chicken restaurants in proportion to the town populuation? All bets are off if a Confederate flag is flying at the entrance.

Sissy... he knew he would loose playing against a veteran. Seriously does your state have just gem town names as Turbeville, Fitchtig, or Monks Corner?

Yep, been to MB more times than I want to count and have several shirts to prove it. None of which have seen the light of day since anyone questioned George Michael's sexuality.

We did most everything we wanted ordering room service, gorging ourselves at the breakfast buffet, sitting by the pool, walking/digging in the sand/jumping in the water on the beach, heading out one night to ride Go Karts and to an amusement park, walking on the boardwalk.

One of the features of this hotel was a splash park with lazy river for kids. Seeing that Ben loves the pool at home, we were doubtfounded that he was scared to even get in the water. We tried playing with him on several of the spray parts and Bill did get him to go down the smallest slide one time with no tears. He instead wanted to float on the lazy river, so we spent time there playing sea captain on the boats before moving to the pool.

Both days we moved to the pool and later at night the hot tub, which he loved and kept trying to scoot further and further down into the water. Why did I keep thinking he is 15 years shy of a starting role in Boogie Nights 2 as much as he kept asking to go back and get in?

Overall we had a great time, we loved being in a place where everything was close and doing nothing an option. As always we did the trip recap of fav things:

Bill- Go Karts with Ben, Room Service as well as out great meal at the Chesapeake House complete with an alligator, watching the Apple Developers Conference online while I watched the kids

Heather- spending time with the family in a relaxed place aka not at home, sleeping, and a distant 3rd but it makes my list drinking by the pool while finally finishing thank you notes and birth annoucments (seriously wanted to finish these for the last month)

Ben- digging in the sand, esp at night with a special headlamp and flashlight with Daddy, Riding Go Karts and Bumper Cars, the lazy river, early birthday gifts of new water guns since we have already broken 2 this summer

Ian- sleeping, eating, pooping, all things he can do at home for free might I add

Great trip and time together which was the goal.

Get Ready, Get Set, Blast Off!

Why am I blogging when there is about 900 things to do before my MIL, BIL, and his new girlfriend get here for grilling out dinner? Much done in the hours home from the beach.

1. Online class made and is at capacity. Participated in my online group with all the other Civics Credit Recovery (aka.. taking it again) teachers across the state last night. Much to do since I just got my course section yesterday. Luckily in laws are taking Ben to the NC Zoo tomorrow and then tomorrow night for me to get some serious work done to load the class with the first week assignments

2. Party prep in full swing. No, I am not making the cake. Call me a lame mom for not wanting to take a Wilton Class and then create a masterpiece out of staining red frosting. Some things I am just going to farm out. Since they were out of the cake topper, came up with my own, so a crafty touch none the less. Still have to pull the craft for the kids together and make gift bags. No homemade jam for parents this year.

3. Finally found a workout bra after many, many returns. No less it's was at the PennyRich Bra Patch here in town. A busty girls dream store with lots of pretty not all institutional undies. I do have to wonder when the owners were thinking up store names where the idea for a "patch" came?

4. Ben had a fab family birthday. Pics to come and also the beach trip, but needless to say he went to bed with a giant leggo plane and a big smile on his face. Skype worked well with my mom and brother to celebrate with us.

5. Heading to school to return my laptop on this the last day for teacher. I inadvertently infected it with a virus somewhere in the last week, much to Bill's happiness. No really, he's been pushing me to get a new laptop with the new online class and not use my crappy, no battery life one from school. SOLD with the virus. I saved off all my files and it's going back. Funny that other than bringing home a couple of boxes there is NOTHING I would have to do other than resign not to return in August. Think this is a sign?

He is graciously letting me use his command center in his office for my class. I promised him I wouldn't mess it up (or attempt to clean it up).

Happy Birthday Ben!

Happy 4th birthday my Sweet Ben! You woke up to your decorated room and "sparkle" doughnuts in bed to celebrate the day. We are planning for "choose a gift" on the hour tradition, playing with Connor, and then a big birthday meal tonight after you talk to Mema and Grandmommy through Daddy's special camera.

I'm glad that you as of 8 pm last night, I can come to your party. I was getting worried after you have disinvited me about 900 times in the last few weeks. Hate to tell you, but if momma doesn't come, there will be NO party.

You have grown up so much this year as you moved schools, finally mastered the all encompassing hurdle of pooping on the potty :-), have learned your letters and number and can recognize simple words, moved to a new bedroom, took swimming lessons, played a soccer on a team with friends, and became the wonderful Big Brother I knew you were waiting to become given the opportunity.

We spent our last morning on our family beach trip yesterday doing what you loved best, digging in the sand and jumping in the water. What more could I ask for but to watch you be totally in the moment with a smile on your face and filthy dirty.

I was so happy to be apart of your 4th trip around the sun celebration at school before the year ended. We had fun making your "timeline about me" poster as well as your fav food of blueberry muffins to share with your classmates.

This weekend you will finally get to have your party with your friends at Durham Science and Life in the Butterfly House complete with a birthday train. Since you have been planning this party for a good 6 months I hope it lives up to your 4 year old expectations. Believe me, I will do my best not to be disinvited before Saturday!

I love you my sweet, loving, inquisitive, adventuresome, ACTIVE, blue-eyed boy. You make me smile with your unconditional love and morning hugs. To hear your sweet cackle of a laugh makes me want to hold you in moment in time all of my days.

Be Still my Heart, my Beautiful Ben.


love mom-

Too Freakin' Cute

Ending the week on a much needed positive note. Over the past holiday weekend the Pressley folk came down to grill out with their boys. Ben idolizes their sons. Let me repeat, he talks about them as if they live in this house. Yesterday while at Trader Joes he bought bananas for them and wanted to wrap them up in birthday paper and then have me drive him to their house to deliver them.

Much of the get together was spent on the Slip & Slide they gave him last year for his birthday. The same Slip and Slide that stays up until Labor day as it is in use so much. My new en masse birthday present that I bought by the pallet for the multiple birthday parties we have been to this season. After dinner we were treated to a concert on our deck with handwritten lyrics by the 8 year old for an original creation called "Playtime Rules". While you can't hear the lyrics, it sounds more like a GWAR concert circa 1983, he wrote them out and indeed Liam is a budding songwriter.

supposedly they had spent time choreographing a fabulous ending to the song and in true style it didn't disappoint. Both Pressley boys still call Ben "Baby Ben" 4 years out, and it hasn't been until holding a tiny baby again that Ben looks SO old and more like one of them. I am betting if there is a way to get Baby Ian on the Pressley family trampoline Ben, Connor, and Liam will find a way.

Looking forward to our upcoming beach weekend, a much needed laid back, time stopping still vacation with lots of sleep, frosty drinks, and playtime with the kids.

Does Home Depot Install Urinals?

Again, where has my week gone? Camp Mommy is in full swing and no I don't count taking the dog to the vet for an almost hour wait and then appointment in the pouring rain yesterday on the agenda. We all, baby Ian included, looked like we had been in a wet tshirt contest. My vet actually used the words, "pitiful owner" when she brought up the dog was way overdue on vaccines. We are not talking the Rabies one here folks. Today Camp Mommy will involve a trip to the ABC store for Book Club liquor. I can't imagine what could go wrong with a stroller, a 4 year old, and lots of glass.

Appreciate the good thoughts I didn't mean to sound the alarm bells Friday. Thinking about options, how to settle into the 2 child thing, and remembering that working harder is not always smarter. In the scheme of things, this should be easy street. I'm bottle feeding,have a cleaner through the summer, and froze ahead like crazy. I need to get it together as this could be soooo much harder.

I'm looking at time wasting crap including what can I feasibly blow off without the pissing others off factor. I really have stayed home, and not over scheduled myself this week, even last week for those who don't believe it's possible.

Truth be told, staying busy, even an insane crazy busy is always preferable in my world, it staves off negativity and gives some fleeting sense of control. Believe it or not but going to the gym the past 3 mornings at 5:45 is worth the sacrifice of an hour of sleep. These next two weeks are the trial run for am workouts before the online class starts to roll and the summer routine starts. I live and die by the all holy routine, and that is a huge part to this stress is re establishing or better yet finding the two kid routine.

Tuesday I had Ben, Ian, and one twin. It cycled between pouring or so humid I thought my hair would explode if we ventured outside. It was a long afternoon in which my repertoire of camp (indoor) mommy fun was running thin between taking care of the babies. Play dough had long since become tiresome, Dora was about to be given an AZ come to justice deportation and I left the double stroller on the porch to be soaked leaving a trip around the neighborhood out of the cards once the rain stopped. Well Done Camp Director.

Ian was up continuously and was crying for a good chunk of the time. At some point of the day it occurred to me that as a mom to 2 boys, 3 maybe 4, even 5 on occasion when friends are over, that installing a urinal in the middle of the living room would save so much time. Call it a fleeting thought or a stroke of DYI brilliance.

take your pick-