A Wagon Train Kind of Gal

Everything went well yesterday at pre op. Most of all the instructions are the same for after-care and minus having four drains over two post surgery.

At the beginning of the discussion he was hesitant to perform these two procedures together, a breast reduction and a thigh lift, due to the time under anesthesia. Both are around 4 hours and as all surgery is performed in the surgical suite in office on a same day basis, 6 hours is the maximum that he normally is comfortable performing.

We talked over breaking into two specific procedures and doing two recoveries over one. I was adamate that I really want to be finished and would rather have a longer, harder recovery than two more to contend with planning for kids, my recoup, Bill's time off from work.

After a long discussion and going over each procedure he believed that I could do them both together, given the understanding that I am going to have to be out for at least 2 weeks with the strong possibility of 3. Being at home with limited activity was mandatory. No putting up Christmas decorations in the attic this time (Bill ratted me out for pushing it in December.)

At one point he said, "you are a wagon train kinda of gal, and knowing how you came through the first surgery I know if anyone can pull off this recovery you can."

Seriously, a wagon train kind of gal? I've been referred to as many things, but this was a first. I'll take it as a compliment on some level that as surgeries go that my main goal going into this final step of weight loss is being achieved in part to tenacity or maybe my stubbornness.

Not that I am going for some type of award, rather I just want to be done. We did before pictures and looked at the scar healing. All is looking good and yes I did take a quick look at the before comparison and couldn't believe it was the same body.

In the end I just need to keep my panic that something is going to go wrong at bay, trusting that I am in good hands and in the end doing all of this was my call.

Just How Many Bags of Turkey Meatballs Can Stave Off Panic?

I'm buried under in a massive pre-surgery to-do list this week/next. Is it possible to feel some sense of nesting if you aren't prego?

Actually with less than 2 weeks to go I'm starting to feel the same old school panic as before surgery one. I have this need to get the house organized, plan easy to fix meals for the kids (hence the stockpile of turkey meatballs), get my classes/lesson plans/copies made for a potential extra week absence, and finish off a mountain of important paperwork. Added bonus for the cold I've been nursing all week.

Massive primal scream about now.

Last night was paperwork central finishing up some work on our wills, looking for the remaining tax documents I forgot when I met with the accountant on Monday, the ADHD paperwork for parents, packaging the school version with confidential envelopes to deliver today. Then there was probate paperwork. Somewhere I commented to Bill that I now know where the phrase, "I will spit on your grave" comes from: an estate in probate court.

Actually I've had it easy as Brian has done 99% of the work and handled the outstanding medical bills. In actuality whatever is left that would come to me is going into a trust for Ben and Ian's education. On some level it makes me sad that with the close of the case, it is officially the end of her "life." I know that she would be happy that providing for her grandsons was the end result of a long, arduous process. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss her. Even with all the issues, I would do anything to have more time, especially to have the boys have had more time. I fear that later in life they will barely remember her.

Later today is pre-op. I told Bill last night I am really scared about the recovery this time. Not that the other surgery was a walk in the park, but my surgeron tried to talk me out of stacking these procedures given the 8 hours under anesthesia. He later recanted with the mother of all comments.

Maybe because Pam is not able to be here to help with the kids and Bill is under a deadline at work, I just feel like the recovery has the potential for problems. Maybe with the added stress of Ben's behavior and wrapping up probate I'm stressing myself out even more. How about just being slap worn out at the end of the day from this traveling teaching schedule that everything just feels harder this time.

We will see, in the meantime I am setting a moratorium on turkey meatball purchase.

here all week folks

Thanks folks for your supportive comments here as well as privately.

It has been a long week. Understatement. In addition to the ongoing behavior issues we are trying to close my mom's probate estate case. I wish I could escape where no one can find me for a couple of days.

To wrap up this ick week how about some funny?

A recent Dollar Tree trip revealed the following finds.

I had just commented, "how crappy of an author are you if your work sells for a $1. Just who would buy these jems of literary genius?"



Guilty. Me

Or how about this? The look on the cashier's face was classic as he uttered, "are you going to use this?" Me: "Never underestimate the power of Snoop Dogg."



Both will be put back for a White Elephant gift exchange which I LOVE to host.

Then I discovered these:



Remember Designer Impostors Body Spay? Want to admit you owned some in the 6th grade?

Sadly the motherload was the discovery that Dollar Tree carries Turkey Creek BBQ porkrinds.



Holy mother I am in hog heaven. Literally.


My friend that was with me walked away with less than 5 dollar purchase. Me: over $30including freeze ahead pans and Easter basket fillers.

Were you thinking I spent $30 on pork rinds?

Here all week folks, next show surely not to disappoint. While I know I shouldn't quit my day job, you know I gotta find some funny where I can find it.

Our weekend plans include a Kite festival, more mulching for trip money, helping tag and bag for a church wide yard sale and help with a food truck rodeo Kenya Fundraiser.

Not familiar with the Food Truck Rodeo? Think state fair food trailers but with more than fried Twinkies.

Called Our Bluff

My day started with crying, first by Ben and then as I drove to work. Ben is missing his spring field trip today due to a rotten day yesterday in all 5 areas on his behavior contract. We are splitting the day to be home with him while he is being punished.

We had explained that to go on the trip he had to show he could make a 4 or 5 check day until the trip as well as a good report from after school. He held it together for 3 school days until yesterday. It's almost like he saved up days worth of bad choices and then fired them off. The hystics have been on a new level in the last 24 hours.

I can't even begin to tell you how taking away this trip feels like the straw that is going to break the camels back. Bill and I had already been talking to Ben's teacher about the possibility of doing some testing at the school level. Last week I talked to her even more and agreed that we would start the process.

I talked to some teacher friends at work about the legalities of the process, the timetable, and what a potential diagnosis could mean for services or potentially the writing of an IEP (the legal document of what the school must provide.)

Just starting the process to test, even if in the end we are old "he's a 5 year old boy" is daunting. I quickly shoved the Handbook of Parenteral rights aside, feeling like it is a massive badge of parental failure just to be in ownership of this book. I cannot look at a bunch of legalize until we can feel it's warrented.

The reality is Bill and I want to do something now, not wait out another year or even just the rest of spring. The process if indeed Ben does wind up with a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD is likely going to take the rest of his Kindergarten year to get into place for 1st grade.

I totally admit that in Misery Poker, Childhood Issues Edition that a hyperactivity diagnosis is not even in the same league as SO many other afflictions. But it's still something to deal with on an ongoing basis, it makes life harder, it make the goals and dreams you have that your kid is going to be well adjusted and happy harder. It makes me wonder what school is going to look like for him. It makes you question past parenting mistakes as part of the cause.

I think my bottom line is while I want to know if my gut is right and this is all more than 5 year old antics. I need some good thoughts on this friends.

I Got So Much More Than 6 Feet Under

How about 20ft?

Last night our team saw pictures of the community effort in progress starting the clean water project in Michura, Kenya.

Before the construction teams arrive this summer a giant 20 foot deep rainwater collection pit has to be dug as well as the trench lines leading to a water purification station.

Hello grassroots effort on a crazy large scale.

I spent most of Saturday helping spread multiple dumptrucks of mulch in the nasty, cold rain as part of a group fundraiser. Minus one taco truck stop it might have been some of the hardest manual work I've ever done. I most likely will be revisiting that statement by end of summer.

A couple of weeks ago I got approval to get my fundraising letter out. I actually hate soliciting monetary support, especially in a icky economy when just filling your gas tank fills like mission work. As the former philanthropy chair for my college sorority as well as lots of fundraising as National Honor Society advisor, I can do it and hopefully convincingly.

I'm putting out my letter today, disguised as a pop quiz from your local social studies teacher. I also created a Facebook Event page and am using the hashtag #can-heather-dig-it?

I don't plan to beg friends for support. Support me if you want, join my event if you want, follow me if interest. I won't lie I have a LONG way to go to get to my $3500 cost of the trip and any donation is appreciated. The letter contains an online link for donation as well as tax reciept.

More importantly I hope you will support this effort by just being interested. All hopes to share stories and pictures of just what support whether monetary or just your good thoughts are doing thousands of miles away.

I'm not a super churchy God person and the last thing I want in asking for support equates pushing religion on you. Yes, this is a religous backed trip and will involve visiting the village churches. More importantly this trip is about bring the most simple but vital resource, clean water, to families just like mine and yours.

I'm also linking the the non-profit 410 Bridge's effort in Kenya. I am crazy inspired by what they are doing and hope you will be too.

Thanks-

Special Delivery

Look what made the trip from 105 Clay Street, Easley SC



Look what was inside the piano bench: Tons of my old practice books including Henry the Cat, my first every recital piece. Check out that 5 year old signature (and inside Hello Kitty Stickers.) The fact that most of the music was marked up with my mom's handwriting brought a smile to my face.



See who banged all over the keys with a smile on his face.



See how much it means to have one of the best memories of my mom now in my home.



My mom taught piano starting when she was pregnant with me in the fall of 1974 and continued until only a few years before her death. For my entire time growing up I heard scores of students learning to play.

From 3-8 pm Monday through Thursday, our house was filled with kids hanging out drinking Green Kool-aid playing Pitfall with us while waiting on their siblings to finish.

I took from kindergarten until I was a Junior in high school. Sharing a love of music with my mom is one of my best memories of her. While rusty, sitting and playing for Ben and Ian and then later for myself made me realize that the band (or the piano) plays on even in her absence.

Want to See it, Read it, Do it, Taste,It, Wear it- March Edition

And once again we had another night of fun at Casa Vinson. First up: firetrucks at after school pickup. Sadly the first thought was I hope Ben didn't set the school on fire. Actually no, but he did kick someone in the crotch. How this was not a write up when pushing a backpack across a table defies reason.

Double Secret probation for the entire weekend and we are are keeping him home next Friday for a field trip if he can't pull it together. Yes there was lots, and lots, and lots of crying last night. I even made a student cry yesterday. I felt like a total winner by end of day.

So on to March. Once again I feel like getting stuff done by March 27 surgery is my target.

Here's the short list of some things on my radar:

See it: Hunger Games. I need no other words to describe how much I want to see this cornucopia of awesomeness. Maybe even up for a midnight showing on opening night. Take that Bill Vinson, king of midnight showings (even bad movies).

Taste it: Want to discover a new tapas restaurant since my fav Red Room has closed :(

Need to have a child-free meal in peace before surgery is on my short list. Also under taste it is replenishing my freezer stock over the month since Pam is not able to fly uppost surgery. Last weekend freezer session produced 4 new things to try.

Wear it: Super short mall trip in which I might have had .912 sec on the way to replace even more damn pants for Ben to look for myself. He's back to only wanting to wear "swishy" athletic pants. NO jeans so a pair lasts only a few weeks. Thank GOD for Sears Kid Advantage program that replaces them in the same size for free. These people are losing money on the Vinson family. Totally stealing a few hours for some post surgery shopping.


Read it: Sadly after restarting book club book twice I am giving up. It's even history related on something I care about and I just can't get past 75 pages. Back to the library it is going. On the amazing you should read it list: the super compact and visually delicious We the Animals by Justin Torres. At 125 pgs I read in a couple of hours and loved it so much I reread it again. Also on the short list is Michael Ian Black's new book You're Not Doing It Right. Just check out this online review.

Being a long-standing fan of MIB, i knew this book wouldn't disappoint. Got the kindle version this morning and have been doing a power-read. Insightful, funny and smart humor that has many well-stitched emotions and stories. If you're willing to access those dark pockets of your mind thinking about your kids, spousal insanity and taking a good hard look at yourself this book is for you. I'm just about done and really am enjoying it. On a side note, I'm glad i am not the only one who had the same reaction to a lame-ass Creed song. *What a relief * Get the book...If you're one of those Oprah book club types, you might want to stick with something else. Allow me to pretend to be an English teacher for 2 seconds and rate this book a solid "A".

Dilemma: Get it now or save it for post surgery, drug filled days laying on the couch? Thinking high on Oxycontin would make what I'm sure if going to rival "Taco Party" on a whole new level the best part of another non-showering recovery.

Do it: Lots to do to get classes pulled together for another couple of week absence. I got my favorite bad ass sub known lovingly as Big D that teachers love and kids hate for her sarcastic and take no prisoners attitude. Perfect for my drama filled children while I'm gone.

Really and truly on the do it list is raising money for Kenya. Almost every day after school this week I've been pulling weeds in anticipation for weekend 1 of MULCHURA. Hello spreading mulch in nearby neighborhoods to raise money like a fool weekends all month. I'm even personally doing some other teachers' yards down near school after work for donations.

Happy March and even happier to get to final surgery on the 27th.

Because this week needed this

Yep. That would be a handwritten note from Ben detailing his behavior in the after school program. The same program that we are one write up away from being dismissed.

At the walk of shame/pick up yesterday I knew it was not going to be the stellar report hoped for when told, "wait here while I get the director."

Upon entering the library yesterday Ben did a running slide on the carpet into a bookshelf eventually tumbling into a group of already sitting (and quiet) girls.

While not the official FINAL write-up dismissing us, the librarian was upset enough to require Ben to write the note and sit out half of his outside time.

Goodbye to a special scavenger hunt and Leap Day prizes. I packed up the scavenger hunt cards as soon as we hit home all to a chorus of giant tears and hysterical sobbing and also lying that he didn't do the things he detailed in the note.

Further compounded by Ben trying to get me to call Bill who was working late to get him to reinstate the scavenger hunt.

Nope. Goodbye TV for the rest of the week as well as an early bedtime with dinner in his room.

Here's the deal beyond how this is the ongoing issue with Ben ad nauseum. Earlier this year Ben along with the rest of the boys in his class were invited to a drop off playdate. We couldn't go due to a conflict but I remarked to Bill that Ben has enough exposure already at school to this child and I don't think he needed the additional time to be influenced, esp with one parent and the potential for 10+ boys in a private home.

Bill agreed but then later came back and said that we should reconsider and maybe try to contact the parent about playing at a nearby park with parents present. We hear from Ben and have both observed when we have volunteered in the classroom that this child does not have many friends. Ben himself calls him a "bad kid".

Ben and I have talked about being a friend to him in positive ways and how maybe our good choices could be an example to help our friend also make good choices. I brought this up to Bill and we agree that to some family (and likely more than one) the kid named BEN VINSON is used in context of don't play with him because he's a bad influence.

Here lies my ultimate issue. I truly believe that the 5 year old Ben is setting the parameters and character for the future versions of his character. Because I see and work with "bad kids" on the high school level, the ones that are absent more than in class, have 6% averages despite parental intervention. I think I am highly sensitive of what I don't want to see him as in 10 years. I want to think I am doing everything I can to be setting him up to see himself positively and also ACT appropriately.

Last night a bedtime we as we always do review the best thing and worst thing about our day. Best: Getting 4 checks and going to the treat box.

Worst: getting in trouble in after school and then as my heart is breaking as he says: Making me so sad that I hate you. Thanks Ben, it's been a long week and that made it so much better.

I have to think that if Bill and I continue to stand firm, are on the same page with discipline and not giving in to whining and lying, continue to work with his teachers that he will develop into somewhat of what we hope. He has made progress in maturity as well as listening according to his teacher from the Day 1 Come to Jesus meeting with his teacher.

I hope so. I pray so. I need others to step up with a "me too" 'cause I feel like I have the worst kid on the playground despite effort, time, attention, and consistency and did I mention the oodles of patience?

What to do with 24 extra hours?

Most likely the same stuff I always do: commute to work, pick up the kids, play outside if the weather holds out, walk the dog, make dinner...blah, blah, blah.

I wanted to do something out of the ordinary for leap day for the boys so after pick up we are having a scavenger hunt in the house to find something that is not the same and out of the ordinary.

For Ben: new Superhero bedding

For Ian: a new book (in his bed since we don't allow books in bed due to tearing them up). Although after loosing yet another solo shoe last night in the grocery store I think he should be getting replacement shoes. As a bonus I should consider giving him a roll of duct tape for his sponeaous stripping.

Last month I capped off January with an update on my 2012 goals: February Update

Family: Still trying to milk every minute I can get between pick up and bedtime with the boys. With the crazy mild winter we have spent so much time outside playing. Yet another reason I love my house is the neighborhood to discover on walks to the nearby greenway.

Exercise: Again with the warm weather I have been neglecting the gym for daily 2 mile walks with the dog. I'm back to going consistently on Saturday am for weights and more intense Cardio. With only a month until the next surgery I hope to add a couple more days to get in and work out to build back some stamina.

Sleep- SCORE.SCORE.SCORE Can I just ask where I found the time to work online. In the one month since I have given up this job (and yes the money) I find that most nights I am asleep before 11pm. Granted I do the tour of Bill's office couch, downstairs couch, and finally to bed.

I am also finding that post surgery I just really, really tired. Maybe from being on my feet traveling floors and wings all day or maybe it's just taking more time to recover but I'm making the time to sleep and it's paying off.

Time: I *wish* I could say that I'm suddenly on time. How about I'm trying to build time into leaving to make it on time. How about I'm leaving the house consistently to make it on time to work. How about that I've been super conservative about who/what is getting my time right now. I think just being conscious that this is an ongoing issue and working everyday to just do better.

Wasn't that a goal for 2012 to strive to perfection but be able to live for satisfaction.
Happy Leap Day folks. I hope you fill it with whatever you needed/wanted to do the other 365 days of the year.

The Post I'm Not Writing Today

The one where I tell you that all weekend we dealt with a child with a highly contagious disease.

Big ol' bullet dodged and as I write this I need to find a big piece of wood to knock on. At pick up last week we found out that five kids in Ian's class had come down with Hand, Foot, and Mouth. Great. In a class of 9 kids we were bracing for appeared to be a likely ick-filled weekend with a miserable toddler.

Come Friday night, all day Saturday, and again yesterday we searched every inch of Ian's body for tell tale symptoms. His teachers believed that based on when kids reported sickness that if we got to Saturday without fever we were in the clear.

Ian was out a couple of days last week as we were at the beach and then I kept him home on Tuesday to be on the safe side after puking in the car on the way home. Luckily the puking was only car-sickness and the days away from school obviously were the days he would have been exposed.

Other than another cut on his chin and big ol' bruise on his forehead I think we dodged a bullet. We still played the weekend low just in case as not to expose Ian to anyone else other than family.

I'm very happy to report that this was our Saturday night, celebrating Bill's 37th birthday with a cake make by Ben (with help from mom).

All hopes that I'm not jinxing my fearless Ian who is one step away from a urgent care co-pay at all times.

Drop and Give Me 20

Yesterday Ben's school held a Community Helpers Parade. I have to admit I took the easy road when the directions gave 2 full weeks to make your child's costume.

Hello existing holey knee, well loved camo pants, shirt with a helicopter (underneath), and favorite dress up jacket and hat.

Ben told me he was the only "army man" in his class. Bill reported he counted several doctors, scientists, and even a chemist. At pick up I saw a full on FBI vest and hat on a tiny, tiny girl. Sadly no insurance agents or those in cubicle hell to be found.

Ask me how the conversation about not bringing anything resembling a gun to school went?

A shade off from perfect

Amazing long weekend vacation along the NC Coast. So much so that I'll just tell it in pictures.

Boys in Hammocks: aka Ben and Ian were filthy after falling into the dirt underneath to get out.

Only a parent of boys would have worded this sign.

Ask me how much I feared Ian was going to jump off the top of this fort, thus the mom death grip ensued?">
The only time I ever hope to see them behind bars

Just after this shot the boys were jumping off and rolling on the ground. Surprised?

Big ol' cannon and behind it a big ol' freighter coming into the port to unload.

***If you look closely Ian is chasing Ben from behind***

Favorite shot of the whole vacay


What else did we do? We swam in the indoor pool, built a giant racetrack on the beach under 70 and sunny weather, taught Ben how to play teatherball a la Napoleon Dynamite, visited the Aquarium, ate lots of yummy food, watched Muppets Treasure Island, and ventured out to a Civil War fort.

Tons-o-fun on a much needed unplugged family weekend.

Little man boobs or pec implants... so can't decide?

From a walk yesterday with the boys. Ben is totally into a superhero phase (lifetime commitment if you ask his father)

Ben asked to stop by the goose house.. aka the gazebo on the neighborhood walking trail where the geese all congregate and poop.

Not sure if this shows the beginnings of some man boobs or he is gunning for some pec implants.

Either way, he's got his mom's genes.

Heading to the beach for the long weekend tomorrow. All plans for the indoor pool, movie watching, walking on the beach, flying our kite, finishing a book, and sleeping.

Could you pass the goat?

Last Saturday I spent most of the day working with the Kenya team for team building, fundraising planning, and trip logistics. Over the next few months much energy is going into getting this trip from planning to reality. Our lunch which was prepared by a church family of East African origin, was an example of standard meal of goat, cornmeal mush called ugali you use in place of silver wear, cassava, and kale. Believe it or not it was really good.

Our team is comprised of 15 people, half of which are parents and their high school aged kid. It is an awesome dynamic to see parents working with their kids to get ready for this trip. So much to say that the thought has crossed my mind of if I would ever do a trip like this with Ben or Ian.

I've been asked by several people just what we are doing while we are in Michura.

1.We are helping the community of around 1,500 people build a clean water project, i.e I will be digging trenches, laying pipes all while wearing a skirt.

2. What up with the skirt? The area is very conservative, meaning ladies cover legs as well as suggested arms. I will be investing in some super cool clothes as it will be spring season while we are there with daily highs in the 80s. Since we are at the equator I will be slathered in 50+ sunscreen.

I'm looking for suggestions on shoes as I am planning on tennis shoes with my skirts (lovely). We have a 30 min walk from where our bus will park once we arrive since the village is located where the bus cannot travel. We will be carrying in our daily supplies including water, food, and hand tools in backpacks.

Our heavier tools will already be at the work site since there are teams traveling in March and July to also work on this project. I am not kidding when I say that over the summer I plan to be working on stamina and endurance for this trip.

3. Is it safe? At before nightfall we will return back about 45 mins to our hotel in Kusumu which is on Lake Victoria, near the Ugandan boarder for dinner and what I imagine will be collapsing into bed. We do have indoor plumbing while at the hotel, but obviously not when in the village. Yes, upon hearing this I still wanted to go.

Since we are literally where the roads have no names, we likely will be stopped in transit with animal crossings. Overall the area is safe with little concern to be robbed or stopped when traveling. We are traveling with two Kenyans that work for our parent non profit 410 Bridge that will help translate as soon as we reach Kenya. On our last day we are going on a safari as we make the 4 hour drive back to Narobi from Michura. If anyone is injured we have access to medical care in Kusumu or if need be evacuated to Narobi.

4. Relationships- On our first day as well as last we will be participating with the local 4 churches in a community service and meal. The meal in particular will be prepared using our clean water and food as one major concern we all have had is being sick and unable to work. No cheeseburgers expected, likely more goat.

During the day we will also be working with and meeting members of the community in between working on the pipline. We've organized ourselves that each day we will visit families, the school, the pastors using our translators during a part of each day while others on our team are working outside.

There is a large focus on not just showing up, working and then leaving at the end of the day, rather on cultivating our relationship with Michua. Several long standing and future projects including building a health clinic and secondary school are in the plans for future teams. Water is of the most important and urgent concern as each day the villages have to travel several miles to the nearest water source.

So to answer what has been Bill's biggest question. What part of crazy are you wanting to do this?

I really have no other answer than what I have already written about wanting to be part of something bigger than myself. I am moved by what this church is doing not only locally but also thousands of miles away to make the lives of people better.

The idea that right now a community of families are going about their daily life just as I am and a matter of a few short months our worlds are about to collide is kinda amazing. I fully look for this to be a life changing experience, thus making all the work in the next months worth every bit of the work now as well as once we are in Michura.

Singing From the Same Hymnal

A couple of weeks ago Bill and I were at my consultation to plan my 2nd surgery. Much of the discussion turned to recovery and expected help needed. At some point my surgeon looked at us and said, "you two are singing from the same hymnal and I have no doubt that like before you will rely on each other to get through the first hard week."

Very, very true that after fifteen years of marriage that love is best expressed in how Bill took care of me not only when I couldn't do even the simplest of tasks for myself, but before when I was scared about the possibility of not waking up to see the boys or him again. He is one of the few people that I let in when I am vulnerable and needing reassurance. He never fails to point out reason when I need to be brought back to earth.

Don't even ask about how he feels about me traveling to Kenya. He might stow away on the plane last minute.

On this day filled with expressions of love, knowing that someone has my back, regardless of circumstance is the best gift I could ask for.

Plus Bill knows I will kill him if he pays a ridiculous markup on flowers today.

in'

How it is possibly Friday? With the load of laundry that has been moved from bed to basket, back to bed, ok you get it been a busy week. Not that anything earth shattering happened, but what's been going down at Casa de la Vinson?

Bad behavior a disciplin', Ian multiple mess a cleanin', Bunco a winnin', Appointments a-makin' for pre-op labs/testin', Summer Camp enrollin', Brother birthday gift a mailin', passport a dealin', school open house attendin', and weekend plans a makin'.

This sums up my week.

Weekend filled with plans for a date night to Angus Barn, workday for Kenya trip prep, VDay kids party, and the usual unfun chores.

Back next week to finish up some posts in draft form. In trying to stave off the nasty cold Ian has had all week, I crashed early almost every night falling asleep with the same book on my face on practically the same page night after night.

Note that I found the book cast into the basket of laundry also still on the bed more than once this week.

An Occational Friday 2012 Series- Project Runway

Over the course of last month I completely cleaned out my closet of anything too big, not worn, or looking remnicent of somthing worn to a INXS concernt circa 1987. I had some clothes more than 20 years old that I finally tossed including my well worn Celebrate Freedom: Read a Banned Book t-shirt.

The end result was 5 pairs of pants, 1 skirt that are currently wearable. I sorted out through tops and kept only those I currently wear. Amazingly when I cleaned out the two bins of pre-prego spring clothes I discovered I have several shirts in color! (as well as waaay too many black t-shirts.)

Check out that green sleeveless dress on the left. I haven't worn that puppy since spring of 2005. Unless someone points out to me that I'm sadly out of fashion, come a warm day I'm all over wearing it with those awesome 5 inch wedges from last summer.

I feel good that my 3 trashbags of clothes were donated to a work collegue. Her sister is newly back at work without larger professional clothes after a 2 year lay off. Sure.

I have hestiated buying anything until post 2nd surgery. I can make what I have work and have bought a couple of assessories to pull some outfits together.

First up was a skinny black patent leather belt to go with the black and grey herribone pants for work. Both pairs well with a pair of black patent leather stacked heels. I still am looking for a pair of metalic or gunmetal colored flats.

I found this beauty to go with cords and jeans.
I LOVE this belt and even had a couple of my teenage girl students ask we where I had gotten it. Does this mean there is hope yet I may have some symblence of style?


Yesterday I paired it with items I already had including Gap kakhis and a layered Old Navy jean shirt over a blue t-shirt. While I think it needs some type of necklace, I think this came together well.

I've never been a big shopping kinda girl, but I tell you I find myself stopping and looking more and more whenever I can still time minus the kids in tow.

Deloise, Beatrice and Hopefully Me

Earlier this week I had the pleasure of helping surprise a much loved and respected colleague on her last day of 35 year career teaching primarily freshman English. Really, think of dealing daily with some 14 year old drama for HALF your life.

Delosie deserved more than a cake, she deserves the chance to enjoy a book not assigned for class reading. She was the real deal, an old school teacher with more tricks up her sleeve than thought possible. The kind of person you recognize that what they bring to work each day is part determination (see 35 yrs of FRESHMEN) and part magic.

As one of the few remaining teachers from our original 40 that helped build and open my school from the ground up, I have nothing but respect for the thousands of students that passed in and out of her classes. They are the better for being in the presence of academic greatness.

Monday night I was introduced to another person that six months from today I hope to have the chance to meet. As we were going through pictures from the most recent team trip to Michura, Kenya, one of our leaders stopped on a picture of a striking woman standing proudly among her students in an open-air classroom.

Beatrice is the villiage solo teacher and has organized a women's empowerment group. She has been a key player in helping the town communicate with our church's involvement and agreement to partner to build a clean water project over the course of 2012. Everything about Beatrice's inviting smile is a reason to stand her classroom and watch her in action.

As another semester has started and is rolling along uneventfully. I am back in my element doing all the routine things I can do in my sleep. All week in the back of my head I have wondered how much what I do everyday is not unlike what this amazing woman is also doing under the most different circumstances.

I have been working on drafting and editing (and re-editing) what essentially is my fundraising letter. I don't want to simply say, "hey I'm going on this trip, give me $" Instead I want to share the smallest of reasons why partnering with the amazing team of teenagers, their parents, other teachers, and our leaders is worthy.

Supporting me/us is also intentionally investing in the lives and well being of other families just like theirs.

Over the next 6 months we have a ton of work fundraising ahead. Already planned include a Mulch Madness event to spread mulch in surrounding neighborhoods yards, a food truck rodeo and tag sale, drive in summer movie event, and even a video game tournament (did I mention the teenagers on this team.) It seems like each idea brought to the table spreads into more connections. Lucikly between 2 summer teams there are 40 people to spread the work.

I cannot tell you how excited I am to to see this trip to fruition and most of all to meet the people in the Michura community, Beatrice being on the top of the list.

When I posted on my Mondo list that I wanted to find a church for our family, I never imagined where pew-sitting is taking me.

At Least He Didn't Do the Worm During Carpet Time

From Ben's behavior contract on Friday.

My response back, "I guess it wasn't PE day?"

A proud, proud parenting moment.

Sadly I busted out laughing in front of Ben.

Wrap it Up- January 2012

A quick wrap up on meeting 2012 goals posted earlier this month.

Family- more time spent on weekends. Weeknights continue to be a sprint to get everything finished and the kids in bed to maximize sleep given the early wake up. I've been experimenting with getting the kids in reverse order. It is an hour and fifteen min from leaving work to home door to door. With more light before dinner we are trying as many nights as possible to get home in time for 30 mins of outside playtime with our neighbors.

Time- I am making an earnest effort to be on time, esp for work. Having a 1st period class makes me leave without trying to do one more thing. I'm also routinely putting appointments in with a buffer of time. While not perfect I'm really trying on this goal.

As far as over-extending myself, I have not taking on anything else not already committed as of 12/31 with the exception of one commitment church related. It's around 20 hours over the next couple of months and what I hope will be time well spent in prep for the Africa trip.

First of many planning sessions last night. Saw amazing, amazing pictures of the families, the kids, the leadership, the school and church, the hotel with cold water only :)

Exercise- I've really stuck to not doing anything until released due to the infection, sheer exhaustion, and trying to be a good patient and not cheat doing something that will prolong my recover. In the past couple of weeks I've added more frequent dog walks as well as adding back time on the treadmill very slowly.

Sleep- Going to bed crazy early by my standards, weekends included. Major, major difference for my recovery and also in general well being. A real, real effort here for this year and for a permanent change.

February on the horizon with a bumped from Thanksgiving family beach trip over a long weekend, a ramped up effort to get the Kenya trip off the ground with my team and for me personally on the fundraising front, try to finish another couple of books over watching mindless tv at night, continued effort to get out of the house each week for a couple of hours with friends, deadline for making the call about whether to put in a transfer request for schools, and overall keep the positive changes going and continue to work on those that need attention (ahem... keep trying to be on time.)

While another 11 months to go, January was marked by some ever so small seeds being planted and not neglected.

Amen Corner

You be the judge:

Friday afternoon- dog walked and played kick ball with the kids and our neighbors.

Friday night- hung out with Bill watching backlogged Daily Shows and Colbert Report before falling asleep before 11pm

Saturday am- Walked 3 miles on the treadmill and later 2 more (Slow) miles with the dog on a crazy warm day. Called my MIL for her to talk to the kids and and the possibility of Ben flying out to see her in March.

Saturday afternoon- Went and saw a movie alone. AWESOME call,the Descendants was great, Oscar Buzz worthy movie as well as 2 hours in the dark/quiet. Came home played with the kids outside and prepped a freeze ahead meal x3 while catching up on TAL

Saturday night- Bill and Ben to an overnight camping event at a local kids museum, Ben and I hung out on a hot date at the grocery then chilled watching Sesame Street. I kept him up a little later so he would sleep in (score, he didn't wake up until 7:30). I went to bed around 9 and read a book falling asleep around 11 pm.

Sunday am- Early service at church, returned library books, and then yoga class and 2.5 miles on the treadmill

Sunday afternoon- My friend Katie came over to visit and make bear bucks reward cookies with Ben. I recovered the 4 breakfast nook chairs and chatted over the staple gun firing.

Sunday late afternoon- walked the dog with the kids to the playground and then played outside until dark, family dinner trying out a new freeze ahead recipe.

Sunday night- Finished bagging up the rest of the closet clean out to pass off. Chilled watching Good Wife and 60 mins and getting Monday backpacks/lunches ready, and a couple of new playlists organized.

What is missing from this WHOLE weekend?

Work. School-related work of any kind.

Can I get an Amen on dropping the part-time section of online teaching?
Better yet, I'll join in the Amen corner to a weekend of productivity mixed with doing exactly what I wanted with the time.

Super bonus: Two nights of 8 hours sleep and I'm starting the work week in a great place.

*no picture available

Since I updated on Ben earlier this week how about Ian?

So what's up with my 21 month old fearless flier?

How about finally more words: shoes, socks, Veg-hus (our dog), attempts at "Ben", and a total of about 30 discernible words. Daycare reported his first two word sentence, "more juice" last week. While he is still behind the curve in speech for age or even based on Ben at the same age, being in childcare is helping the language explosion over the last months.

We opted to wait until his 18 month check up to make the call about a speech evaluation. Most worries were set aside when more and more words kept coming and if needed we will move to a full on evaluation by his 24 month check up.

He follow directions well about sitting to eat, handing items back when asked, will bring his coat and shoes when time to leave and attempt to dress himself. Thank you day care for honest to God being in loco parentis.

Ian is a great kid. Yeah.. like we all think that our kids are awesome. I'm guilty as charged.

His belly-laugh (and squeal/shriek/yell) that fills the room, my car, his room at times to sleep are evidence of a happy child. He loves bath time, esp when soaking the floor is an option. His nightly wrestling with Ben demonstrates he might just be Macho Man Randy Savage in the making. Sadly, he can hold his own to a kid 20 lbs heavier.

Did I mention this kid is fearless in the running dept. Enter sometime in the past couple of weeks at daycare pick up. Ian broke free escaping towards the parking lot. Just when I thought in my current "running hurts like hell" state cornered him, he took off in the opposite direction.

I'm sure the daycare directors has a good laugh watching me play toddler Frogger on the outside surveillance cameras. Ben has started playing the let me protect my brother card by tackling Ian mid run.

Ian is full on in the throws of toddlerhood fearlessness, self-centeredness, obstinance, and did I mention refusal to do just about anything not on his radar.

The reality is that I see the bigger picture, the one from 30,000 feet. The one where age 21 months turns into 2, or riding the bus to kindergarten, or eventually leaving the the driveway on the way to college before I can blink. So many days amid the chaos I have to tell myself that one day I will do anything for an hour to have them at this age again. I believe that time is called "grandchildren."

So while most of my sad iPhone pictures these days are blurry due to motion of a moving child, Laura did capture this out take while she was setting up our holiday family shoot.

Think he might be planning the downfall of society or just an escape plan based on how far his roly-poly toddler body can run?

Like a Punch to the Gut

Last week at my post-op follow up I had a small place where essentially all four major incisions meet that looked ever so slightly irritated. I didn't think anything was serious and chalked it up to irritation from all the daily taping of the incision lines. Needless to say I should have bought stock in Target Pharmacy for the amount of tape I go through in a week.

I still have a fair amount of swelling and numbness that is expected even months after, but this seemed worth pointing out. My doctor put me on an antibiotic as a preventative and asked me to call if anything changed.

Over the weekend things worsened and by Monday am it was apparent that I needed to get in to be seen. Alas another reason I have loved working with this practice is the speed in which calls were returned and I was brought in early on Monday.

Bill had several very late night calls with my surgeon during the first weeks out, all returned very quickly, even when he was not the physician on call.

Ask me why a million times over I am glad I opted for this practice and in particular my outstanding surgeon. When I interviewed several area practices this was the type of care I envisioned. I have been told by a couple of colleagues who have had experience with post breast cancer reconstruction as well as my dermatologist that my surgeon has an superior reputation as well as a great bedside manner.

At this point I feel this is like no doctor/patient relationship I've ever experienced short of a therapy relationship. In part due to the type and amount of surgery but also due to the time he has taken with me (and Bill) to make sure in every step questions were answered. Heaven forbid if I or local friends ever need plastic surgery related to illness, I would recomend this practice.

Without diving into the ick factor, around 5 inches of my 31 total inches was infected. I left with another antibiotic to take in addition to the existing prescriptions and instructions to return the next day with a record of dressing changes.

Ugh.

The one major concern I had going into this surgery was the fear of post-op infection. After all the care with my parents, both of which became septic at some point before they died I know how very, very serious infection can be and how in a matter of days something not so serious can become life threathing.

I called my brother on Monday night and talked to him extensively. I took away that while not anywhere in the ballpark of my mom at her worst, the fact I was being brought back so frequently that the situation was serious. Add to this that on Monday my doctor was stumped as to why now and not immediately after surgery I was having any issues. In office he did a minor procedure to help relieve some of the swelling which due to the numbness was not too painful.

Fast forward to yesterday when I returned again for a incision check and to have the site repacked. The good news is for the first time this week I got a positive report, the additional meds seem to be working and even bought myself a pass not to make a daily trip in until Monday.

I've had several people ask if doing this surgery was worth the pain and recovery time.

Yes.

A million times yes that this was worth it. Knowing I'm with an outstanding surgeon is part of the reason I'm moving ahead to finish this work sooner than later.

Turning a Corner and Finding Some Wood

Every time we have hit a 1/2 year disequilibrium Ben's behavior has been right as predicted: challenging, difficult, leaving us looking for what we need to be doing differently on the parenting front.

Somehow 5 1/2 either came really early and was coupled with starting school issues or we are just late and Hell have no fury and this spring will be rough.

I'm going to hope that the 1st day of school call out by the teacher, the daily behavior contract, toy timeout resulting in bags upon bags of toys in my car for weeks at a time this past fall have not been in vain.

Is this to say that he's a compliant child without whining or driving us nuts with gazillion questions, silliness, and more wrestling matches with his 21 month counterpart would be lying. But over the last couple of months Ben has become so much more compliant. Behavior both during he school day as well in after school he has shown real improvement. At home he's more helpful, nicer to Ian instead of treating him like a toy for his owe amusement, and in general more pleasant to be around.

It's almost like he made a 2012 resolution not to be a pint-sized tool.

Throughout this fall both we as well as his teachers have noted a improvement with attention, listening, finishing work, and in general making choices reflecting he is thinking without acting simply on impulse.

Granted we are withing 1 strike from being dismissed from the after school program due to 1 hitting incident and 1 pushing incident, but overall at both home and school we have massive improvements.

One of the things we are doing is using the daily contract system his teacher notes which of 5 areas he had problems (unit centers, literary centers (not finishing his work), carpet time (not sitting still), hallwall (dancing, being out of bubble space), Electives (not listening, talking). He is learning the hard way that playing around in class means he misses any chance to watch his beloved one episode of Turbo Dogs after dinner since we are making up classwork.

Each day he has the opportunity to earn 5 checks on his behavior contact. 3= a bear buck at weekend payout. 4 or 5 = 2 bearbucks. Just what are these illustrious bearbucks may you ask? Try a bucket of plastic green counting bears a friend lent me from her elementary school teacher stash. I'm not sure if the tangible aspect of counting bears and putting them into a bank have make this system work, but it's working.

You can ask Ben at any point of the week how many bears he has and he will rattle off what he has and how many he needs to go into the prize box. I took a suggestion from a friend's discipline plan and stocked our rewards box with more than just Dollar tree junk that it simply going to get tossed by month end.

Instead when the book fair was in town, Ben picked out 10 new books for the box, including the first picked, Aliens in Underwear. Bill and I also have stocked the box with little Lego sets, activity books, doughnut coupons, cars and figures, and also events like making cookies with my friend Katie, a movie out with a parent, trip to Marbles or Durham Science and Life alone with his choice of parent.

Since we no longer can do weekly date nights due to the super early start, this is a great way to ensure more one on one time. One of the other positive things we waited to start was karate. We opted to have Ben wait out the fall and prove that he was working daily to improve before starting weekly lessons.

Lo and behold if at the first sessions since he started does the class reinforce the same qualities we have been working to enforce all fall.

I guess you can say I'm looking for a big piece of wood to knock on and hopes this continues.

****Note that the crappy picture would be Ben spiking his hair over the weekend. I resorted to taking him to buy hair product, only after finding him using lotion and a brush for the better part of a 1/2 hour. Yesterday he also spiked Ian's hair too.***

How to Plan a Birthday Party- By Ben age 5

From Ben upon waking up around 6 am.

"Mommy, you need to go outside (the house). Daddy, Ian and I need to hide and yell surprise, 'cause that's what you do on birthdays."

We wrapped up a family dinner with a cake selected by Ben and eaten on Transformer party plates. To say Ian enjoyed the cake was an understatement


At bedtime I asked to read our favorite book, The Kissing Hand snuggled with the boys in bed.

Thanks family and friends for your kind thoughts and wishes yesterday. I smiled reading your sweet comments both here and on FB thinking about where in my life I know you.

37 is looking good already.

And if I didn't need someone to add to the sweetness, check out Motherhood Uncensored thoughts on Jan. 19th, 2047 and try not to want to hug your kids an extra time.

Party Like its 1999, or Maybe 2012

40-3 = is the new 20 (to me at least)

Last year on my birthday I posted my Mondo List. Taking a quick look back in the past year some dreams were achieved, others in continual development, others need retooling.

Looking back during my 36th trip around the sun:

I lived a healthy life filled with movement, found more time to spend with my family, made positive work related decisions, found a church home, made a final decision about being a +2 or more, moved forward with planed surgery, contributed to our children's college funds, trained and ran a race for Ian's 1st birthday, met up with old high school and college friends while continuing to strive to be a listening participant and cultivate the relationships I cherish.

Other less quantifiable goals like encouraging our boys to live unabashedly bravely or seeking out grace and humility in hopes the same will return is an ongoing quest.

I can honestly say that I look forward to what is unfolding this year and hope by the next birthday to say that the choices I made, the time I spent, and relationships tended mattered.

While I am not rolling out new goals today, but rather want to continue to cultivate the list by continuing to live a life with purpose and intention.

Happy 37th and as promised yesterday a picture

4 Weeks Post-Op Super Short Summary

Say that like 3 times fast.

As of yesterday I am four weeks out from surgery and am back later today for a incision check.

The short version is I'm doing well healing up with the exception of one area where the vertical and horizontal incisions meet. Of my 31 inches of incisions that have to be taped and medicated everyday only about 5 are not healing as quickly.

Coughing and laughing are much easier but still hurt if it is prolonged. Good thing that most all the funny movies Bill and I have been lounging watching have not brought the funny (not even Hangover 2 although expectations were low going in).

The results are tear invoking amazing. Despite looking like I need a pole being WAAAAY out of proportion on top this was a good call even with the pain and post surgery nastiness I cannot even begin to tell you how much I'm glad I did this surgery. So much so that I have already scheduled the 2nd and final surgery for March 27th.

Same expected 2-3 recoup time over spring break. Why not wait?

1. I am ready to be done and after seeing the results I want to just be finished and healed up.
2. Compresison garments worn 24/7 afterwards for up to 3 months= uber hot. Have you been to the south in the summer?
3. Want to limit new scaring to direct sunlight. I'm already need to be pasty train but I also want to take the boys to the pool as much as possible.
4. Clothes- waiting on swelling to do down to really start replacing, but to be able to buy dresses or frankly pants that really fit I need to do the other procedures first.

The best outcome outside of the physical appearance has been having to slow down to rest, as in taking a nap daily before getting the kids. I swear I have taken more naps in the past 30 days than I have in the last 10 years.

I plan to keep a good thing going with coming home walking the dog, napping, and prepping dinner going as I start into spring semester next week. I feel amazing on just about all levels.

As far as working out and adding more intense exercise back? I still can't totally extend my arms and walking dog a couple of miles daily is enough for now.

You can bet that once I can get my elliptical and boxing love back on I will, just in due time.

Pictures?

Saving it for the birthday post tomorrow.

cause it doesn't get more perfect...

than a work week that starts on Tuesday, ends on Wednesday includes a Monday holiday and my birthday by week end.

YESSSSSS.

An Occational Friday 2012 Series- Project Runway

As I listed in my 2012 goals, replacing my wardrobe to match a post surgery body is really not just a goal but a reality. I've already had one situation where the shorts I was wearing recently to walk the dog nearly slid off mid walk.

Wardrobe malfunction, you betcha. Nice if you were a motorist passing by wondering if nudity is a HOA violation.

Last summer when I was shopping for something to wear to my sorority reunion a friend offered to do some online leg work and sent me several ideas. She has impeccable taste and can make even a white t-shirt and jeans rock like nobody's business.

She told me that she was putting a list of wardrobe basics that would allow me to replace my closet without breaking the bank.

Super Score. Super Friend.

I told her before she offered to look at what I currently have and can wear, that I needed to do a massive closet clean out. Before the house move I took a truckload of already too big clothes to a local charity that supports a women's shelter. I've never in my life seen anyone happy to get size large size professional clothes.

At this point all current pre-pregnancy pants/skirts do not fit and I have bought a few staple items in the 12 I am currently wearing (grey cords, herringbone trousers, a pair of jeans). Paired with a lent cargos and black pants I have enough to get through a work week with the existing shirts/blouses I have.

I hope once the swelling goes completely down to be a 10. A size I have not been since I was in Jr. High. I cannot tell you how excited I am to be able to shop in regular stores after so many years shopping with limited options.

Thanks in advance to anyone who wants to encourage me to wear less black (no less than 10 blacks solid tshirts/sweaters) as part of my go-to summer or winter uniform.

9th Grade Boy vs. Girl Syndrome (a Parent Primmer)

Hello last day of classes yesterday. Heading into a full week of exam days meaning I come in give the exam, have a couple of hours of quiet to work and then the kids LEAVE early. Throw in several end of semester work days and I feel some afternoon napping coming on.

I even managed not to have to administer or proctor anyone else's exam this semester.

Score.

Yesterday I finally revealed a description of something I reference repeatedly in a funny and yes sarcastic way over and over during the semester. Suffering from freshman boy or girl syndrome.

I promise on the final day of class to give the full list of symptoms as well as the cure.

Again, this is done not in a mean way or calling anyone out. I think you should get a medal at the end of your first year of high school for having any self esteem left after for most a tough year. I see one of my sole functions in the classroom is to build them up and hope they leave with some semblance of a better idea of who they are becoming.

As parent to two boys I can tell you now that Ben will suffer badly from this disease. As much I hope I am laying groundwork to curb some of the hallmarks, he is a midget version of most of my freshmen boys. Ian, I fear will be the child that leads his friends in whatever fear producing, injury-filled activity he can imagine. It will most likely involve something used in a purpose never intended.

Freshman boy syndrome- Marked by smelliness, sloppiness including wearing of sweatpants in public or even shorts even on the coldest of days, repeated requests of hat removal will go ignored, earbuds will be hidden in the collar as to listen to music when in the halls or even in class for the non observance or frankly old teachers, backpack resembles a toxic waste dump of stuffed papers, crumbled balls to be used for am impromptu game of trasketball, ownership of a least one bottle of AXE bodyspray required, use also required in heavy rotation to cover up the ever present chili dog smell. When asked questions appropriate responses are "huh, what, are you talking to me", a a myrid of excuses why something has not been completed.

The cure is maturity. these same boys return even over the summer rid of the sweatpants (thankfully) and some degree that the purpose of high school is two fold: to get out and move on to bigger and better as well as social in that girls only are interested in boys who are interested in them more than video games (while in their presence).

Never fear, video gaming will take up hours, and hours and hours of said boy's time. Wearing of t-shirt proclaiming such love will identify you quickly in high school. By senior year these same boys will tower over me, have figured out a wardrobe resembling that of someone with ambition (even just to pledge a fraternity to revert back to Freshman boy status). It brings tears to my eyes to watch this transformation of maturity and social grace over 4 short years.

Freshmen girls- Very, very glad I will never have one inside my own home. I have watched grown men cry in conferences over behavior that my guess is was never imagined when fantasies of walking them down the aisle is more positive.

Cattiness, backstabbing, drama over every conceived miscommunication is played out and out and out some more. I often say that while I know this is super important today, 10 bucks says next week you won't even remember why you were so upset to often crying ladies being consoled in the hall.

Typical attire of fall 2011 has included continued wearing of UGG boots with anything including pjs. My personal favorite look is the knee-high I'm stepping off my sled boots pairs with a mico mini skirt in June. Do they know that the market on smelliness (of the feet) has already been taken by the 14 year old boy. Daily slathering in Bath and Body works products that have names like "amber summer" or "berry explosion" permeate and fight for smell space with the Axe body spray. A resurgence of anything 80s including techno colored skinny jeans and I dare say splatter paint one shouldered Flashdance-esqu shirts have been spotted.

The Cure- also maturity and the realization that while school is two fold: Get out and move on to more mature guys and also that leaving sooner will greatly increase the chance of positive relations with other family members. By senior year it fills my heart with joy to see girls break out of the mold and be original, authentic, and willing to not follow a pack mentality.

I've taught this same group over and over and over for the past decade. Part of why I love teaching students on the starting end of high school is watching what happens in a few short years by the time they leave. High school is just a microcosm of our future adult lives. We want approval from our friends and family, have to learn the hard way through failure, try to meet now self imposed goals, and mostly figure out a way to be happy with the person we are.

Coming back to classes of 35+ kids this fall has been hard but I have realized that I have missed this day to day interacting with them. Online teaching is just a different relationship. One that doesn't come with seeing the end product while enjoying a daily aroma like no other.

More than lip service support

Bad, Bad teacher to forget the working on the Obama re-election campaign is a goal for 2012. In by working I mean more than here's my $ and slapping a magnet on my car.


I was having this conversation with a friend about the re-electability of incumbent presidents, namely Obama and made the statement,


"the zenith of his presidency happened on his Inauguration, everything from there on was going to be a fight just to be re-elected"


As I was standing in the freezing cold in that moment of history in DC in 2009 I had so much hope that Congress would cooperate, there would be a refocus on domestic over foreign policy, and hopes that the baby steps needed to repair the economy would start with Obama.

Sadly my expectation that so many people who voted for this president expected a miracle worker with a return to the salad days immediately with a new President in office.


No. Didn't think this at all, given the compromise needed to simply function day to day and get even a iota of your proposed agenda passed.


While not all decisions have I supported, I can tell you I stand by my vote and know that a re-election is going to be difficult. My friend and I have pledged to be involved with our local office to canvas, phone bank, or simply do more than just lip service support on this campaign.


I don't plan for this to take oodles of my time, but I feel very strongly that if I stand on the sides expecting others to build a re-election campaign the odds are I'm going to be left on election day disappointed.


The NH primary is today, or as I like to call it "who can pledge they do more justice to an LL Bean catalogue cover". Not surprisingly I have been following the election and while my Civics class is coming to a close, I will totally take it as positive that on the night of the Iowa returns last week in came the following FB message, "Mrs. Vinson, you are the reason I am still watching this at 1 am"


Nice.


Bring it Election 2012. Next up SC primary where any and all Republican front-runners are going to claim that Jesus is their BFF.

2012 Goals- Exhibit D (Final) "Use the fancy glasses"

I never got around to finishing or posting the final day of 2012 goals Friday. Needless to say a full day back at work post-op was met with lots of craziness and exhaustion.

Last week I covered most all of the main categories for 2012 Goals/non-resolutions (fitness, family, time). To wrap up here is a short list of the other goals: Read 30 books, raise all $3,500 cost of my August Kenya Mission trip, Update/get lost on GoodReads/Pinterest, walk the dog more often, be more appreciative of the small things (from Bill especially), keep monthly date nights going (with Bill, Ben and add time alone with Ian), take a basic sewing class, replace my wardrobe slowly and with guidance, practice grace and humility daily, make better use of iPhone apps to simplify life, catch up with both high school and college friends over the summer for reunions, plan a weekend trip with Bill, consider saying yes to a friend's 6-woman marathon team in fall (will need to build back up to a solid 5 mile run again post surgery), seriously consider getting ride of the 30+ year curly in place of permanently straight hair, keep up last year's theme of being enough is all I need to be.

With that my biggest goal for 2012 is to use the fancy glasses.

Meaning: don't wait to do, say, ask, plan, speak what is on your mind. Today may be your only chance to thank someone, pay them a compliment that they carry all day, share a secret, pass on a random act of kindness, take the time to actually listen without talking/judging, analyzing, and to find any and all reasons to pull out your best glasses and use on a daily basis.

All all the re-dos I want for last year it was one conversation, the last with my mom. If I take nothing else into this new year (already) full of opportunity is to not have regret for a chance I didn't take.

Instead of checking back towards the end of month on what got done on the almighty golden to-do list in the sky instead I am going to check back on this list of goals. Some quantifiable, but so many just in the way the day unfolds and choosing to say yes to the courage of new opportunities and paths.

2012 Goals- Exhibit C, (Non) Family Feud

Most nights our upstairs hall is the scene of naked boy wrestling of Olympic proportion. Take one kindergartner + one 20 month old minus clothes on the way to nightly bath and you can imagine why I want a valium lick with mandatory compliance at my back door.

I have quit expecting my house to be anything less than loud. ALL.THE.TIME. Luckily since I teach high school kids for a living I can tune out most any craziness and a part of me has just accepted that a house of boys = activity at epic proportion.

Over the fall the boys have begun to play together in every way possible. It is sweet, sweet happiness to watch Ben help Ian, introduce his friends to his little brother (typically by picking him up and demanding you tell him hello), and more often that not keep my fearless Ian from nearly killing himself on a daily basis.

In 2011 I felt like we became our family of 4 in so many ways. The decision that are are 2 and done was made, moving from babyhood to God help us toddlerhood and needing to double up parenting when needed, and the ability to move into other long range plans with the house off the 2012 plans.

Goals for our family this year:

1. Fine tuning the am rush of getting me leaving by 6:30am, Ben on the bus at 6:55, Ian dropped off at school and Bill to work on time. For a family of lateness I want to cut down on everyone starting their day stressed. In general Bill and I both need to work on patience and not becoming frustrated when Ian in particular pushes us to his Toddler limits.

2. Goal of spending as much time with the boys on weeknights and finding some one on one time with each child at some part of each weekend. Our Tuesday date nights have now moved to weekends due to the early weekday start. Bill is doing Karate with Ben starting this Saturday while I do a walking stroller date with Ian at the playground. I tend to walk the dog with Ben on the nearby Greenway most Sundays while Bill takes Ian. We take turns helping with homework which has both helped us support what is going on in his classroom. We also are both trying to volunteer once a month in his class.

3. We want to take a family vacation in July. The trip we want to plan may be more than we want to take on with a toddler so while we have blocked the week we are talking over if this is the year to do CA Disneyland and San Fransciso. I say yes.. want to weigh in on Bill? I am traveling with the boys to FL in June and Ben is likely taking a solo flight to see my MIL in March.

4. Keep up the Sunday night weekly family check in for Bear Bucks Payout to Ben, check in on everyone's schedule for the week, and any issues that need to be addressed. We started this last goal this fall in the midst of attempting to reel in behavior. It's a plan I hope we can keep going as the kids are older, more involved, and by the teen years need to hear that despite all being involved with work and school we are first and foremost a family that supports each other.

My family goal for 2012 is much the same as most years to make our family about experiences not stuff that the boys will remember. 2011 was a good year for our family so keeping up the supports already in place is the 2012 plan.

2012 Goals- Exhibit B, The one where my friend had a flat tire and still arrived before me

True story: was meeting a friend for lunch when even after having a flat tire she still made it to the restaurant before me.

That is the very definition of late. I am the butt of my own joke that if you tell me a time to meet, add 30 mins.

So for the first time ever I am going to put Time as a whole category as a goal. Again, I know that I'm setting myself up for failure it I rigidly say I'll just be on time all year and time's twin brother, " I won't overstretch myself on time commitments."

Yeah. Sure. Repeat offending before you likely get to the end of this post.

So in keeping with the Perfection vs Satisfied plan I detailed yesterday I'm applying to how I use my time in 2012

1. Being on time: Perfection-Consistently be on time for work, leave work and get the kids before the 5 pm traffic rush, be on time for meeting people, be on time for appointments.

Satisfied- Make any real change that lasts to include consistently planning cushion time to get out of the house. This includes not adding extra tasks thinking it will take just a minute to finish. The minute becomes 15 and the start to my spiral into lateness.

2. Overextending myself- I feel like I make strides in this dept in 2011. As someone who literally has done nothing for either job while out with this recovery be proud. No really, I didn't even want to do anything and more importantly didn't feel guilty that I was letting anyone down. I asked for help from dept members to help cover my classes and told people that was not available until 1/9. It has felt wonderful and freeing. And repeatable.

One of the biggest and hardest lessons I have learned in the past year is that work is not worth.

I've even go as far as it took a jaw-dropping sermon in which I have too long equated my personal contribution as a wife, parent, friend, employee with what I can accomplish had been called out.

This was sit in the car for like 30 mins after the service unable to drive home thinking about this issue called out or better yet was screaming at me.

The seed of what would you do with that time you are currently spending on stuff I don't need to be doing got planted. And grew. Grew. GREW.

I actually compiled a list of what I do with more time including: Doing absolutely nothing and not feel unproductive.

So for as much as I love the satisfaction of a to-do list mark-off I can tell you in 2012 my priority is doing less in every aspect of my life. I even abandoned a 2011 goal to list what I hoped to do by month end when I realized with the house move that I had to pare down my focus or I was going to loose my mind.

The perfection would be to not go back to additional jobs, not take on any other commitments that I am already starting with on 1/1, not negotiate with myself that I need to prove that I can do everything and not pay the price in the end.

The Satisfaction is to again make real change by not doing or taking on new tasks in 2012. This also includes planning down time then not feeling an iota of guilt that I was unproductive.

This is a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE goal. Note that I don't think I have ever put "be on time as well as be lazy" as a goal and actually made it out of a week before breaking it.

***I happen to meet up with that same friend today and lo and behold I was 10 mins early****

Even she asked if being on time was some type of 2012 resolution.

Ha.