Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Tales from the Little Potty- My Leather Bound Edition aka... A Bear in the Woods

I gave this story the TWO FRIEND TEST.

The one where you risk your friend thinking what the Hell is wrong with her and share, then regret sharing, then tell someone else to make sure you where correct in thinking of sharing to start.

Damn, that makes me tired just to over think that thought. Needless to say when I told the 2nd friend and she blew coffee out her nose, I made the right call.

I hate potty training. I hate it to the point that even thinking of starting Ian (and I'll be damned if I start a DAY before 3) makes me want to cry.

With that we have gone most of 2010 with few accidents including the being dry at night and pooping on the potty with few accidents. Praise Jesus!

So my thinking of late has been one kid down and one to go.

Tales from the Little Potty has now been issued in paperback for wide spread enjoyment.

I made the horrible, horrible parenting mistake of letting Ben pee outside in an emergency just before we left for Disney. Not thinking, I let him do it again (it was the biggest emerengy ever) AT Disney. And no, for the record, it was not at the Park rather in a bush at our hotel.

The Universe owed me an escalation for my own stupidity. Last Friday we took advantage of another beautiful fall day and headed to Kids Together Park. I love this park for the many different playgrounds, the greenway nearby, an ice cream truck most summer days. I esp like the rows of swings near the very, very far away from the bathrooms, back.

As you can guess before even asking he was behind a bush with his pants down.

After what seemed like forever, I check on Ben who is smirking and kicking at the dirt like some geriatric cat. Yep, my pride and joy had sh$t in the woods.. like a bear.

Of course just as we are cleaning up some totally together mom with her perfect kids walks up and is totally mortified and my son's penis just hanging in the wind.

A Golden Parenting Nugget. Actually two, there for all of God and creation to see.

Needless to say we had a very long talk about appropriate places to use the bathroom and that we do not need go outside again. Make that never again for any reason. Period. I further elaborated that only animals go outside, and I couldn't resist using a bear as my subject.

So much for the older child teaching the younger about potty readiness.

God help me.


LauraC said...


I am so sad you didn't wait to share this story tonight!!!!!! That is freaking hilarious.

Carrie77 said...

Oh, man... I needed a good laugh today. Thank you! Hahaha!!!

Gillian said...

Oh that is TOO funny!