Oh Mickey-
Why didn't you call me after your win for The Wrestler last night. The collective "what the ****" from both the audience and viewers at home should have been a tip off that among the beautiful people last night, you seemed a little lost and must have stumbled (literally you lost your shoe on the steps to the podium) onto the awards show in hopes of finding Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab.
You thanked your dogs. Let me repeat myself after admitting that you are a total D-list celebrity if that,proceeded to thank your dogs. For a minute I thought the sentence was going to end, "for licking my balls when I was lonely for human touch".
But alas what was the most bizarre acceptance since Angela Jolie proclaimed her love for her brother at the Oscars a few years back you seemed in your element. Too bad for your other nominees who had likely the worst night of their career loosing to you. So with that I wish you tons of luck on your next picture as you have proved that even the forgotten Nick Notle-esque are still bankable to someone.
I will have to say you have lost whatever I found remotely sexy from Wild Orchid which I do believe my girlfriends watched about 100 times in high school for the sex (not the acting I can assure you). But then our lives revolved around comparing our lame boyfriends to you, man of men circa 1989. Oh silly girls to see you now.
I weep to hear you are in IronMan 2. Maybe a more appropriate title should be, "Can we get any more washed up stars in a movie? Is Todd Bridges from Different Strokes available, oh wait, he's dead. I guess we will have to settle for the short one."
Monday, January 12, 2009
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4 comments:
"licking my balls when I was lonely for human touch" = reason you are my friend. That is HILARIOUS.
I thought Leo D was a shoe-in after Kate's win.
You make me laugh Heather, this is hilarious!
Wow, I missed his speech. What a whackjob. At least the movie is supposed to be really good. He SHOULD on celebrity rehab! I'd watch it! ;-)
Oh, just FYI - Todd Bridges isn't dead. You're thinking of the girl on the show, Dana Plato. (Drug overdose.)
For shame that first I mistakenly recall your dog humping my leg and now I can't remember who from the cast of Different Stokes is dead, jail, or just a midget.
BTW- The Microsoft Moustache contest is on. Bill's muttonchops/biker entry is getting styled this weekend. Will post a picture.
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