Would Gladwell call me a Preschool Snob?

NO he wouldn't because I totally buy into Malcolm Gladwell's theory proposed in his latest NY Times bestseller Outliers. This is a book review/end of the preschool visits post rolled into one for your reading pleasure!

I finished the book earlier this week and as expected loved it. How do you classify his work? To me it's the fusion of social psychology, economics, and statistics all in one awesome package!

I don't think it's any coincidence that in the midst of all these preschool visits and open houses that I'm living his theory and as justification for my intentions. I don't apologize for going to a total of 9 schools over the course of the last 6 weeks.

My original list contained 16 schools to research and visit. I cut my losses given that anywhere that can't offer a full day until at least 3 pm won't likely be a finalist. Disclaimer: I totally think that what you do/don't do with your child it your God-Given right as a parent, so do want you want and I won't judge you and expect the same likewise.

First the book review and since I really, really want others to read it I won't give away much. The premise of the book it that success in life is not as much about who an individual is but rather their upbringing, family, and most of all... access to the right opportunity at the right time. Great examples scattered throughout the book to prove the point again and again that place, time, and opportunity mean more than actual abilities in many cases.

Second, the preschool finalists are down to 2 with a backup 3rd. Applications have been hand delivered and fingers are crossed. I compare the experience at one finalist school that required copies of our residency via income taxes, current Immunization records, as well as copies of Ben's SSN card and Birth certificate akin to a guy I went out a few times with in college pre-Bill. The fraternity he was in required a photo of each potential brother standing in front of their house, all cars, all family members in the picture and I kid you not, a financial statement. I digress, but needless to say that many of the schools we looked at proposed a specific set of hoops, lotteries, Indian tribal chantings and what not just to apply.

As a public school teacher for the better part of a decade I have worked in 3 very different school settings: a large, rural school county high school filled with students with limited English as well as no money from the county(ask me why I have a classroom set of everything, because I had to buy it myself), an inner-city Magnet High School that is often referred to as the "flagship school" of the county due to it's gifted and arts programs, and now a suburban high school I helped open 3 years ago that is like what I think most people expect high school to resemble. I have street cred that I have seen and experienced most any situation between the 3 schools and have determined 2 truths that are constant:

KIDS SUCCEED FOR 2 REASONS:

1. Some students have a drive to achieve regardless of parent support. They are independent, driven kids that could likely teach the class if the teacher was absent. They frequently are smarter than the teachers and are simply playing along at the "school game" until something better happens.

2. Many students who are average or even a little below average success is due to parents who seek and set up opportunities for success. Whether that's the choice of schools, pre-K education, or simply parents are involved and demonstrate the belief that education is the vehicle to success. I have found these parents WANT and DO what it takes to set up the best situation for their child no matter what.

The later set of families are vested and see that with a little help, Student 2 can reach the same as student 1 or at least get much, much further in life. Student buy-in to believe that what the parent is doing is paramount. Some years I had students at the magnet school who didn't want to be there, but were only at the school because a sibling also attended or to please the parent. BAD, BAD idea folks, and you are asking for a really rough teen years if this is your MO.

What parent doesn't want the best for their child? Too many times I have sat in conferences with families that expected the school system to diagnose the student's issue or provide the resources to manage it while they sat back and waited for improvement. Many times I want to scream, "Why are we having this conversation at age 17 instead of age 6", when REAL and substantial difference could have been made. How could you just be on autopilot for most of the child's education???

In all fairness given that many families who have education, cultural, financial limitations don't realize the possibilities. I have come across many a family who have desperately stated, "some help even at the end of the road is better than none" More than anything I ever learned in my classes, the idea that education in social mobility is key and transcends most any classification of student/family.

So I find it totally inexcusable, when I have worked in this industry, to not to least provide Ben with every possible avenue to help encourage him to find his strenghts and passions.

If he casts our work and planning aside then at least I can say that I offered it to him. The balance of what you want for yourself and what you want for your child is a fine line of distinction. The last thing I would want to do is push my/our agenda on him with disastrous consequences.

Label me a snob for going to these extremes, but I love Ben to much to let him falter in a place that is not meeting his current and future needs. One of the saddest things I encounter year after year is the great "what could have been" with some of my students that have so obviously fallen through the cracks. No amount of work I can put in is going to reverse 5-10 years of neglect from uninformed parents or the perils of the bureaucratic educational system. The time to make a real and lasting foundation is now and I am up for this fight.