Wednesday, September 15, 2010

So This is How I Told Him

At the end of June we found out that our appeal for the final installment of filing for IVF has been denied. I could have lived with the decision as we were SO incredibly thankful that in a world of limited, if any, infertility coverage we had most of our procedures paid for by Bill's former employer.

BUT.. there were the meds. The several thousands in injectable meds, the same ones I carried packed in ice along with enough needles to get myself on the no fly list to Boston last summer. The same ones that had we filed the claim only 48 hours before we did, would have been covered. The same ones that sit in the back of my fridge because I can't seem to toss them.

In the realm of stupid marital fights that never should have been, our total failure to file these after months and even the birth of the baby they created goes down in the stupid hall of fame. This simply was avoidable stress.

So after the June denial of our 1st appeal, we appealed again. The reason why and the technicality we felt were on our side are inconsequential. Since we were going up again a behemoth of a company we figured that we would loose and were prepared to suck up a really stupid mistake.

So enter the thin envelope and the dread of what I thought it contained.

This is how I told Bill, attached to the door.

Paid in Full
, and minus long term shortage fees and some of the early testing, the entire cycle was paid. Top that with Bill's surgery, his parting gift for a company that laid him off was 50k in claims.

Talk about an ending to the story. Didn't see that coming.

What happens to the 3 frozen possibilities I really can't answer. Part of me says you got what you came for, don't overstay the party and tempt fate. Life after the 2nd has been a huge and difficult adjustment. It would some very serious discussion (s) to be a +3. Luckily I do have time in the next couple of years to let the +2 play out.

But not knowing the end of the story? What can I live with doing/not doing with them? When could I make a final and non-reversible decision.

I'm/We're not there yet, not even close.

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