Sunday, September 26, 2010

Future Resume Contender? Deep Fried Ambassador

Last week I saw my Taco Party gift giving friend Eileen. If had a twin or wish someone could be my twin it would be Eileen. It never fails that she makes me laugh until I am usually so out of breath, crying, or a combo of both. She took me to see David Sedaris in Clayton, NC as a Christmas present a few years ago. I am fairly sure he was collecting new material, seeing he was in the armpit of Johnson County in a 1 stop light town. She had to pick me up off the floor at one point.

Her family is heading to Disney next week and also going to the Halloween Party in the Magic Kingdom. I've been berating her with costume ideas that involve unitards for the whole family. But back to Eileen...

She is one of the funniest people I've ever met. And seeing I was coming off the "dropped my kid on the floor, yelling at Urgent Care people to please not take my child away" the night before, I hoped she would be armed with the funny when she showed up for coffee.

She did.

Somewhere in the midst of talking she threw on her latest challenge to bring notoriety to herself. After all her post of the SheWee a self urination containment unit for ladies, much like the Stadium Pal is for Men, was ACTUALLY is picked up by the manufacturer and used in promotions.

Famous, she is.

She is entering our local upcoming State Fair as the Deep Fried Ambassador 2010. Say what? This couldn't possibly exist for my amusement only. BUT IT DOES, and I spent way too much time over the weekend reading up on last year's ambassador who visited the fair EVERY.SINGLE.DAY eating her way through an artery clogging good time.

Needless to say I have no desire or want to visit the fair on a daily basis. Once you've seen the racing pigs, the tractor pull, the demolition derby, eaten too many country ham biscuits that you would lick the underside of a rusty livestock expo arena bathroom water fountain, and yes gorged yourself on this year's, "can we fry it and put in on a stick" foods, I'm through for 2010. I am done and ready to spend the next 11 months forgetting the sights and smells of the fair.

So Eileen, if you are selected know that I am there in spirit as you bite down into what would be a fitting testament to only a job you could do. My guess is you better be wearing a SheWee to get to all those food stands as well as sit atop a throne make of fried dough.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are brilliant! I never even thought about using the Shewee at the fair. I'm going to affix some elastic to it and wear it around my waist and out through the zipper in my jeans. Like, the entire time I'm there. Hey, if Uncle Jim Bob can carry around a cup of brown saliva to spit his chew into, would a cup of urine be any worse? Yes, I'm sure the NC Agriculture Dept. would be proud to have me as their ambassador. And if I'm chosen, I'm going to have a sash made with my title on it. Only I'm going to spell it like this, "DEEP fried ambASSador". Also, we were totally switched at birth.