Snoopy Snow Cone Machines and Ass-Cream

My friend Eileen posted on FB yesterday something about not having stamps in the house. My reply was as follows, " I have some 39 cent Chinese New Year ones that my mom no lie, put in my stocking from last year. This along with a collection of notepads from her Dr office advertising prescription drugs. I am betting on ass cream from her this year"

Eileen's reply was she was betting on a Stuckeys Pecan Log. Thanks Eileen you are my inspiration to think of my worst gifts.

As a kid we got to ask for 3 things each Christmas. Undoubtedly one was always a total dud and was relegated to toy purgatory by January.

A Snoopy Snow Cone machine that literally just tumbled 2 pieces of ice without crushing them to be covered in blue nasty syrup.

A pottery wheel that ran on a single AA battery. Think the movie Ghost, now think not

Scented Markers that were destroyed by the fireplace. Ever mix Bannaberry Twist with melted plastic smell for the duration of winter?

As an adult:

A 3 set of cookbooks titled: Best recipes for Baking Soda, Salt, and Vinegar. Last time I checked I don't live on Little House on the Prairie.

Tired-Ass Soaking Bath Crystals. No lie, the name really was "Tired-Ass" and reeked of a hospital antiseptic

Stamps all .39 cents (when postage is .44) all of Chinese New year pattern

A collection of nesting boxes with a handpainted Santa motif, all it looked like was he had gone on a 10 am bender

Best of all, last year's contribution of a collection of half used notepads from my mom's dr office advertising free drug samples.

And you wonder why I offered to buy and wrapped my own gift this year?

Ok... would love to hear someone else's! God help me if there is a Pecan Log for 2009, at least that could be eaten in a dire emergency.