Thursday, December 3, 2009

A One-Way Train Ticket to Craft Hell


Yesterday was rainy, windy and nasty and I tried to make up a missed soccer class to give him an outlet from being cooped up all day. No room today so onto Plan B making the Gingerbread Train.

I now know why their are piles of leftover gingerbread house kits on Dec 26th marked down to $3.99. I think at some point all moms think "hey I can channel Martha" and have fun with the kids at the same time. Uhh.... No. I should have know it was not going to turn out at the holiday dinning room centerpiece 5 mins into the fun when Ben fed one of the wheels to the dog.

Random thoughts as we attempted to create some holiday fun...

"Damn, are you kidding me that the only directions is the finished, unrealistic picture on the box"

"the audacity for the manufactures to list a website to upload your finished 'creation' to share in other's ideas and creativity" Would they be offended if I spelled out profanity in candy on my train to share?


"No you may not use Cheetos to spread the icing"

"this candy tastes like ass, maybe I wasn't suppose to eat it"

"the box says Made in Canada, I never thought of them as masochistic people before"

"more icing will help cover up the crookedness of the caboose, maybe not"

"Ben, please don't put your chicken nuggets in the caboose"

"there is green icing everywhere, on me, on Ben, on the dog"

"better take a picture now before it implodes due to unsound structural integrity"

"where does this part go?... hell, where is the dog"


Realization that this is NEVER going to look like something we want others to see, lets dump all the remaining ass-candy and squeeze much icing as we can both stand before we go into a diabetic coma and then smash it to bits laughing as we take our "smash and crash" train to the trash can.

Best idea of the afternoon

1 comment:

Beth said...

LMAO! At least you got a good blog post out of it. We always did gingerbread houses growing up, but I'll let you in on our little secret. Use pint-sized milk cartons (or half-and-half--the ones that you push open, not with the cap), cut off the straight strip across the top and tape the "roof" together. Turn a sturdy paper plate upside down and use that as the base of the house (or yard). Then use graham crackers for the walls and roof, using sticky icing to stick them to the carton. Then decorate with candy. Voila! It helps to have the graham crackers just a little bit stale--soft enough so they don't break when you cut the triangles for the sides of the roof. We used candy like peppermints, twizzlers, gum drops, Mike and Ike's, etc. to decorate. And make snowmen out of marshmallows. I'm planning on doing these with the kids, but we'll see if it actually happens.