Open Mouth... Insert Whole Lower Half of Body

If I have a history of anything, it's finding myself in embarrassing situations.

Like on my first date with Bill when I fell into a bush as he walked me back to my sorority house (no drinking involved on this night) and he had to pull me out.

Or, that I fell down on the way to the same class and walked in soaking wet. Once from an unfortunate incident with a mop and the other I fell and rolled, yes rolled down a hill in the commuter lot.

Why would you still go the class one might ask? I was in the Dr.Shepard Fan club and would have attended class with appendages hanging. Plus as I was footing the bill I knew the cost per class.

I digress, but I add yesterday's unfortunate incident to the running tally. As I walked back to find one of the guidance counselors I literally ran into my old Principal (who is now high up in the school food chain). He opens the door from my current principa's office and I walk directly into him. Realizing he knows me and always gives these grandma-like hugs, he proceeds to exclaim my name and hug me. As he pulls away, my shirt catches on his cuff link and starts to pull my sleeve halfway down exposing a huge chunk of bra.

In typical Vinson fashion I throw out some stupid comment and try to change the subject... "So would you believe Ben is almost 3" as I grab my nametag to show him the back side with Ben's photo. "He looks so much like you"... he comments to which I not thinking reply, "really, most people think he looks like his dad"... I continue going and add, "I mean he could be the postman's son he so doesn't look like me."

Not the best of comments as the meaning could be interpreted SO many horrible ways. I attempt to slop some southern sugar and fawn on about how good it is to see him... while dying a thousand deaths.

As I walk back up the stairs I replay the whole thing and wish the floor would swallow me up... but alas the day is not over and I trip and fall in my last class landing into two students. One is a football player but the other some little girl who weights no more 100lbs. I think I may have hurt her, and will HAVE to read her next essay with an open mind in repayment.

I'm taking bets if tomorrow I can top today by dropping the F Bomb while teaching. Maybe if I am lucky I can flash someone while doing lunch duty!