Resilience- A Must Read of 2009

Bill update! Bill wrote a home from the hospital post that details how he is recovering. If you haven't checked out his blog before, visit and send him some good thoughts (and admire his pics of furry animals).

I have read quite a few books this summer, but Resilience by Elizabeth Edwards goes on the top 5 this year. It's the type of book that deserves to be passed on to a friend with you favorite passage marked. I really appreciate LauraC making this a part of a IVF basket for me. I have been waiting to read it when I knew it would mean the most. I think July, 2009 qualifies!

I remember seeing Elizabeth in person when the Edwards/Kerry ticket came to a Raleigh just days before the 2004 election. I had gone to the rally with some teacher friends as more than Kerry, I really liked Edwards as a NC Senator and now as a VP contender. His stance on healthcare and poverty are very much in line with my own views. His positive, upbeat nature was contagious and standing beside him was a women who in our local area is a celebrity in her own right. She looks like your best friend, the mom in your car pool, the lady who let's you use her reward card at the grocery. Basically she is a working mom like so many of us.

I now know from the book that at that same rally where Elizabeth was smiling and waving she had earlier in the day been at UNC hospital being tested for cancer. This makes me beyond sad to know that not only did John not know on that day, as she chose to be alone in her suspicion until after the election.

When I read her first book, Saving Graces, I was enamored of her strength and storytelling of her grief in losing her son. To bury a child must be among the most difficult tests mortal man is ever faced with and she does it with the grace of a true steel magnolia.

I read the entire book while waiting on Monday. First waiting with Bill and then waiting by myself in a series of places. I felt so completely alone sitting there, walking the halls, waiting to hear good news of successful surgery and not all the impossible what-if scenarios running through my head.

I have spent so much time waiting in hospitals in the past 10 years, mostly for my parents through surgies and sickness. Each time my brother or Bill was there to help me pass the time, make bad jokes, and remind me that all was going to be ok.

This hospital wait was different, I felt like more was on the line than ever. Having a child in the picture does change everything and as the night drug on I just wanted to as Edwards writes, "close my eyes and fall back on the pillow of all those who have loved you." I could not image how much my world would be destroyed if the news was not good, to hear of complications, or words too awful to even give voice.

Finally as the last person in my 3rd waiting area on the night, someone came to get me. Bill's surgeon was coming to see me. Relief, a prayer answered, and finally another person to share in this experience even for a few minutes.

I thought about how much strength Elizabeth Edwards has shown both in her private grief as well as public humiliation. What a model to emulate as best as I can muster as a supportive spouse and a mother to my son.

I though about who I wanted to pass this book on too. I wish I had passed it to my friend battling cancer last year, or another friend after a long year of contemplating doing another cycle of IVF, found out this week she is pregnant. While I did things for both at the time, I think this book would have been a source of comfort.

So after some thought it's going to someone I only know online that has recently been hit with the news of a long 6 month wait before TTC after miscarriage. I marked my favorite passage and included an inscription. I am passing it on in hopes that it will bring her much needed comfort and will pass it on to someone else in the midst of a storm.

Make this a book to read this year and then pass on.