Plan B

This American Life did a great show a few months ago about realizing when plan A is not going as expected. Not that I am planning on starting some life changing endeavor, but on the long, rainy drive back last night made me think: I have got to not let all this stress impact this upcoming IVF cycle. Easier said than done after this weekend with my mom. That is a post unto itself.

In the last few weeks I am waking up at least once, more like 2-3 times a night. I can fall asleep ok, it's the staying asleep that is the problem. I am making it worse as instead of trying to fall back asleep, I am up doing stuff. I don't want to waste the time,avoiding at any cost thinking about what is stressing me out by replacing my closet of winter clothes with summer ones, cleaning, organizing, even cooking ahead. The cycle of worrying about NOT being asleep then kicks in making it harder to try and go back to sleep if I finally tired from doing.

In addition to not sleeping I can't seem to keep food down. Without being TMI, being a post gastric bypass patient, I still have a "bad food day" on occasion. This is normal and typically I can get past it. But in the last week I am back to feeling like I did about 9 months out. Nothing sits well, even water at some points. The only "good food" day I had last week was a dinner out with a friend after acupuncture. The acupuncturist even asked if I was having food issues as soon as she started. Funny what eastern medicine reveals and I totally buy into the whole mind-body connection.

This week, I am going to try and go for Plan B, the sleep-inducting plan, as that is the first line of action and key to the other issues.

1. Go to bed, no watching TV, dealing with anything school related, or anything stressful past 10. GO TO BED, everything else can wait. No really, it can. Keep saying this in 3rd person if you are tempted to slack off and convince yourself otherwise.

2. Try and follow a bedtime routine. This should be easy as the rules are in overdrive these days, so if I mandate myself to run a chronological order then I will feel accomplished.

3. If I wake up in the middle of the night, do not get out of bed, do not pass go, do not think of what I am not getting done. First try Laura's relaxation cd as well as the spa CD I used at Ben's birth. No luck, try reading something with low light but in bed, again no getting out of bed.

4. Go back to stage 3 diet of softer foods and protein loading to help with food issues. No drinking, nothing fried (even the little bit I can now eat), avoid problem foods (processed, most meat, refined sugar)

5. Try this morning drink recipe for the next 2 weeks.

6. Find a way to keep up with exercise. With Bill and his trusty CPAP sleeping upstairs, I can't pull my early am work out. So Plan B is going to the gym as much as I can, taking the Monday pm yoga class I really like, walking the dog since it is light out longer.

Here's to a better week of letting things that I cannot change or control go. I have way too much riding on the next 30 days to let myself sabotage it all.