Me (at Chipotle): I want to buy one of those gift cards where you get a free burrito.
Chipotle guy: Are you going to eat the burrito now?
Me: No, I guess I be nice and throw the free burrito in as an added bonus. Although I am kinda hungry I'll do the right thing and let my husband have it, this is part of an anniversary gift after all.
Chipotle guy: That seems like a nice thing to do, do you want some free chips?
Me: "Yeah, I'll put the gift card down inside the bag, my husband loves this place. Like I think he peed in his pants when he heard a Chipotle was opening minutes from his work."
Chipotle guy: No answer to the pee comment, he looks like he is going to renege on the free chips if I keep talking.
This folks is what 16 years of marriage looks like. It's all about giving up the burrito.
Actually, that is not entirely fair. Sixteen years of marriage looks like Friday night date nights watching a weeks worth of Daily Show before I fall asleep into episode 2 at 9 pm. It more nights than most someone covering the other up on the couch and heading to bed alone. It's taking one for the team and doing bath and bedtime knowing this is prime melt down time for the boys. It's about letting me have the last bit of his burrito after saying I didn't want one and would just eat something at home.
Year 16 contained many a difficult conversation, parenting through some really tough stuff, being 14,000 miles away and virtually unreachable for 9 days this summer and trusting I would return home safe. It looks like a million inconsequential decisions among some that will change the life of everyone in our family. Some days it is so very, very hard to be a partner when you would rather run and hide.
16 years of marriage takes the bitter with the sweet because in the end we are better as a team than solo.
Somehow we make it work, and although not anywhere near perfect, a even a semblance of perfect or even trying to be perfect we want the best for our boys and our family. Perfect is overrated anyway. I'll take honesty and keeping it real any day.
16 years of marriage is about wanting to show up, be present, and try my best even on the days I feel like an utter and complete failure. I never question that Bill has my back.
A wedding is but a day, but a marriage is all the days after.
Happy 16th Anniversary
I pick you then
I pick you now
Photo Credit- Laura Case Photography