Dear Ayelet, do I Qualify to Be in the Cool Club?

I have been meaning to write up my praise for Ayelet's Waldman's book Bad Mother since I read it back in December. Oh well, somehow trips to see family, teaching amidst more policy changes, potty training fun, and being increasingly exhausted from being 3rd trimester prego has gotten the best of me.

After reading Beth's honest account today that after a week of SAHM time due to the DC snow I had to say out loud, Amen Sister!

I immediately thought of Ayelet's book and how many times I found myself saying while reading, I agree and glad someone else called it on making "pre Betty Friedan choices in a Post Friedan universe." Her account both from her own life as well as that of her circle of friends about the choice to stay home or making serious professional compromises often times left her/them with a corrosive sense of disappointment.

This is a must read for both working/at home families as her insights are timely and made me question with another child on the way what do I really want the next year to look like with a 4 year old on the cusp of his k-12 adventure and a new baby and all that new responsibility. Her writing is funny, heart-breaking, and left me wanting to hang out in her cool club of friends, or maybe just invite her over to meet mine.

Her Spring 2009 Fresh air interview was the whole reason I heard of this book is a nice introduction to her past work and the catalyst of why this book evolved.

As the birth of this much wanted 2nd child nears I keep her words tucked away, "there are times as a parent that you realize that your job is not to be the parent you imagined you'd be, or the one you always wished you had, but to parent your child to their needs given the particulars of his or her own life.... and with any luck your child in their innateness will help lead you to focusing on all that really matters."

Well put as my daily mantra is just wanting to be a good mom whose children always know they are loved unconditionally and were wanted beyond reason.