I suggested if the school PTA would be willing to take on the legwork for getting the leftovers to the right places. I mentioned it would be good PR for the school as well as way to model community to the kids. The afterschool director mentioned she would look into both possibility.
Thanks folks for the suggestions.
I'm currently re-reading Your Three Year Old- Friend or Enemy as well as Your Seven Year Old- Life in a Minor Key. Both are a great (and quick) read with lots of practical advice. Both confirm that both boys are the epitome of normal to their respective ages. Ben is having a good start to the school year. We've fallen into a routine at home as well as the morning that is proving he is taking more responsibility for himself. Ben continues to fight with Ian to epic lengths, but he also had a sweetness for encouraging Ian to make better choices, offers to help him, and is showing him real tenderness. This is a much celebrated and encouraged side in Ben as well as Ian to accept help instead of fight everything because he is three.
When I leave in the morning or put both boys in bed in night we have a competition to blow the biggest kiss. It is silly and I ham it up sometimes acting like I am going to fall down the stairs on on the floor their love is so un-containable. Secretly this is one of the best parts of the day. I know in the future this will be the most uncool thing ever and no one will play along.
Ian too is a sweet boy and is doing well in his new class at school. The assistant director mentioned to me that "I must have really worked with him all summer, as he seems more receptive and ready to listen than in May." While I did spend an enormous amount of time this summer with him, I don't know that it is really any one thing. I tried really hard to be consistent with discipline, provide daily outlets for energy, and give him little jobs to do that only "big boys" were allowed to do. Despite the TWO naps total he took all summer, he also has come into his own with interests and with (a little more) maturity.
But, Ian is destructive in ways Ben never imaged. I cite living with an older brother who is influential as well as a need to overcome 2nd child syndrome with forced parental attention, even negative attention. I give you the following examples:
A "boat" made out of his laundry basket
What happens when you try and enforce quiet time in a new place (my brother's house)
Regardless, the little bits of time I see them after work, while hurried and usually frantic with the nighttime schedule, is the best of the day.