2012 Rewind

December 31st and another wrap up in one of my favorite posts of the year.  

The following from my January goal of "using the fancy glasses" or not waiting for the right time/moment, that time is short.   From my post I printed out my own words and kept them taped all year on my work calendar.

"don't wait to do, say, ask, plan, speak what is on your mind.  Today may be your only chance to thank someone, pay them a complement they carry all day, share a secret, pass on a random act of kindness, take the time to actually listen without talking/judging/analyzing.

Find all reasons to pull out your best glasses and use them on a daily basis. Time is short."  

I look back at my goals for 2012 and many were achieved, many had good intentions but faltered along the way.  When I wrote about destination in 2012 I had so much hope, so much promise, so much wonder for what would unfold in the 52 weeks ahead.  

In 2012 we:  turned 37 ,37, 6, and 2.  Wrote 153 blog posts, finished 26 books, traveled to Florida twice, once to see extended family, once to Disney World.  Went to Dragon*Con (Bill), met up with both high school and college friends for reunions and rode a mechanical bull (Heather), moved from a few words to full  understandable sentences (Ian), found our niche and created ginormous art projects that needed their own wing of our home to display (Ben), dressed up as a Ninja (Ben), and a dinosaur who refused to wear his costume (Ian) for our Halloween block party. Had a first girlfriend (Ben) and threw her shoes over the fence at school to prove his love.  Started Y Guides (Bill and Ben). It was a year where fitness goals for the adults hit a brick wall to much disappointment and I spent almost 6 months in surgery recovery mode after back to back procedures.  It was a year where dreams came true, others were detoured, and some were realized 14,000 miles away from home on a rain soaked afternoon.     

2012 Best in Show-

Best Books Read- Gone Girl, Zeitoun, We the Animals, Half Broke Horses, Rules of Civility, Siblings Without Rivalry, The ADD and ADHD Question and Answer Book

Best TV- Old Standbys of Mad Men and Good Wife but added Downton Abbey and Breaking Bad.  

Best Movies- TAL Live Show "The Invisible Made Visible", the Imposter, Skyfall, and Lincoln.  Still haven't seen Sleepwalk with Me, Ugh... the year can't end yet!

Best Family Outing- Taking advantage of our Marbles membership with Krispy Kreme afterwards.  Many a Sunday afternoon double meltdown averted when someone took one for the team and headed to Raleigh with the kids. 

Best new kid activity- Classes at the Cary Art Center.  Not only has Ben loved his classes, but the parent and child toddler classes are affordable and a good way to get one on one time with Ian.

Runner up:  Y Guides for Bill and Ben.  From the hand delivered meeting invitations to building relationships among other fathers and sons, this was a good use of time in 2012 continuing into 2013.

Best Summer Day Camp- Junior Jazzercise.  Ben created a video of himself at the final day/dance off and watches it all the time.  He has already asked if he can go next summer for more than one week.  Maybe I'll get a frequent flier discount, or a bumpersticker for my car. Jealous? I know you are (not.)

Biggest relief- Minus a short setback in January after surgery one, both recoveries went well.  I am forever thankful to my outstanding surgeon for his skill.  A year out it was worth everything for this degree of confidence.  

Moment of uncontrollable and profound sadness- Realizing at the close of my mom's probate case that it was truly over. I longed to find a letter buried in her will or the probate papers directed to me or the boys.  I didn't. That realization has hurt more and demanded more reflection in 2012 than most anything else.  

Moment of controllable and profound sadness- Many an anxiety filled conversation held in uncomfortable chairs in front of professionals about Ben.  Knowing that while I feel like I can't possibly do, care more, or love him unconditionally more that it will take every bit of patience for the long haul is unbelievably hard.  So many factors are out of our control, but getting the support we need is something we can and are controlling.

Moment for all of 2012- As shared in the post A Small Piece of the Bigger Picture, the final hours in the village of Michua, Kenya standing in the pouring rain with Siprin, our 12 year sponsor child, on the one year anniversary of my mom's death. Words cannot even begin to capture the emotion of the the final moments of a life changing experience.  I'm so very thankful for the opportunity and the support of family and friends who helped me make the trip.  Thank you.  

Best Decision in 2012- Moving forward with treatment for not only Ben but support for our whole family.  We have again this year weathered the hard among many, many moments of unbridled happiness.  As a family whose lives are lived at maximum volume, usually in some level of exhaustion that mommy go-juice (coffee) can't ameliorate. It is a sweet and beautiful life.  I am blessed with a loving family, supportive spouse, needs that are met without real thought, and a job that I want to think makes some type of difference.   

I take into 2013 a continued confidence that I know the answer, I just need to trust my gut that I am enough, I do enough, and enough is all I ever need to be.  

Favorite pictures I took capturing 2012-

From toddler to little boy, he's growing up too fast.   

Freckles and 6 year old cuteness during the summer of Camp Mommy

  

25 kids for a big 6th birthday water slide party.  You know mom was on that action. 

The weekend before my 2nd surgery. It became my screen saver.  

It still is.

Of all the Kenya pictures, two remain my favorite-  

Sunrise safari at Lake Nakuru National Park.  Breathtakingly beautiful.

Connection

Deep fried family goodness at the NC State Fair

2012 as it really was. Loud. Crazy. Full (filled)

This is the way we lived. This is how I remember the best moments of 2012.  

Photo Credit-Laura Case Photography

Happy new year, happy new dreams,

 happy new adventures in 2013.