Not funny

Yesterday I got a call from one of the nurses to let me know that some of the labwork from a recent visit had come back wonky.  None was indicative of something serious just she had some questions for me including:

ARE YOU PREGNANT?

Drop the phone lady, in fact my actual words to her were as follows:

I can answer that in one word or two, "NO" and "HELL NO"

She laughed.  I didn't.

I went on to have a conversation in which I rambled on about how I lost a pack of birth control pills after picking up a new prescription from the pharmacy last week.  For God knows why I felt the need to tell her on the same day I also lost a Talbots gift card and a student's paper on the War of 1812.

Needless to say she may have wanted me to come in to take a test of my mental capabilities not just for some low iron and B12 levels after my rambling on and on.

I told her no that there was no way I could be pregnant and that despite loosing the pills I knew that replacing them was kinda important.  I also added (much to what I'm sure was "get this crazy lady off my phone") that I was aware of how one gets pregnant and could assure her that I was not.

She asked if I could swing by the office and pick up a bunch of supplements to try and make plans to come by for retesting.

When I got there it was kind of her to put all the supplements in this bag.

Thanks lady for panic as well as the reminder by my children's horrific double meltdown behavior last
night that the answer to are you pregnant will now and forever be, "I can answer that in one word or two."