Phone Friday- Quick, Snap a Pic of his Head in a Cone?

Woo Hoo.... poop in the school potty yesterday, even a call from the teacher at home to reassure us it had happened. Don't want to jinx it but could this latest plan make a difference?

Earlier this week Ben and I had a Come to Jesus meeting with Ben about eating in the car. It was about the time he wiped a hot dog all over his window that allowing him to eat in the car was over, not before the following day with applesauce in the window frame. Ben typically is starving when I pick him up from school. As the day ends at 3pm they don't do an afternoon snack, and so the days he didn't eat lunch too he makes the 1980's cult fav Faces of Death look like a Disney movie.

I had been letting eat whatever was in his lunch box once in the car after pick up. I had also been keeping a big bag of individual snacks in the car if I knew we were going to be stopping multiple places on the way home. But Ben has turned mom's generosity into how big of a mess can I make on a daily basis. This includes the hot dog incident, chips ground into my seat backs, and most recently opening applesauce that was poured in the window frame. THE END of eating in the car after a stern time out on the last one.

Earlier in the week it was sunny 60s and it was also Wacky Wed at the local carwash complete with a soundtrack of Earth, Wind, and Fire circa 1979. Since Ben had made so much of the mess, I thought he should help clean up. First he was totally fascinated going through the car wash and then helping vacuum with assistance. While I was wiping down the car I let him sit outside and eat some leftover fruit. Then he disappeared only to find him pushing his whole body into a cone and then trying to walk. He was still talking, in fact laughing that he had a cone-head out this little hole at the top.

All this was fine and good and frankly free entertainment while I cleaned the car, until the manager came over to ask if I knew my son had taken 5 more cones from made a bridge he was trying to walk on. Yes, I did notice that Sir, but you see if I don't let him play over there in the grass with those cones I am likely to find a Taco Bell taco under the seat from 6 months ago, just like I did when I was dating his father (TRUE). He literally walked away shaking his head.

Tales from the Little Potty- "I forget what volume... it's been SOOOO long"

On the potty training front we are at the same place as 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago of Ben pooping on himself 1-2 times a day with little to no interest in sitting on a potty. He talks a good game about being a big boy and how he poops on a potty so I know somewhere in his little head he knows what he is suppose to be doing.

We have tried the Project Enlightenment suggestions of 1. running to the potty (to prevent hiding) 2. using warm washclothes instead of wipes to encourage him to do help with clean up (this one is so much more fun to add more laundry to the list), and trying a more direct approach of telling instead of asking. This last one extends beyound potty training.

Results- He is not hiding nearly as much (no more under the bed issues). I refuse to add more to my day so wipes it is with a mandate that he help with wiping at least once each time has has an accident. I am really working on setting more firm limits, not backpeddleling, and using in room time outs.

So Friday night as we were finishing up bathtime he told me that his lead teacher said, "Ben is you keep pooping on yourself then we may have to walk over to the Toddler house, as that's were boys who poop on themselves go." Lightbulb idea and I emailed her over the weekend that I think this might be an angle to play out. All weekend we talked about how sad it would make us not to see our friends, play on the big boy playground, see his teachers.

His response was immedite pushing back and a refusal to talk about it. I kept him home Monday since we had sickness over the weekend, and wouldn't you know it that both days this week he took a visit to the toddler house to get his poopy pants changed into a diaper. From talking to his teacher we are going to try the "look what you missed with the big boys and girls because you were with all the babies angle for a few weeks." As expected Ben clams up when I ask him, even in front of the teacher.

So we will see if this makes any difference, or we will cast it onto the the pile of tried that potty training advice. Think I should put 4T pull ups on my non-existant baby registery as there seems no end in sight?

More Insane Sales, X-rated Preschool Behavior, and Good Wishes to a SuperMom

Wow what a weekend, for someone 29 weeks prego much accopmlished. We decided after finding out that with service fees and taxes that the monster truck rally at close to 100.00 bucks was not going to happen. As much as I hated not to see my kin in Confederate flag short shorts or men in Git-r-Done wife beaters,I'm sure it will return for us to enjoy.

My friend and I made 6 freeze ahead dishes that we tripled on Saturday during a marathon cooking session. A few more of these and I am on my way to feeling good about the freezer status for April.

We headed out Sat night to buy clothes for Bill. Unfortunately despite Ben going to soccer and playing at home he refused to nap. No big surprise as he is not napping at school and hasn't the past few weekends. Unfortunally he treats "quiet time" as a 1 hr yelling session for toys he wants in his room and I have to repeatly go in a read him the Riot Act. I hope the more to the big boy room will help.

One poop in the potty Sat am and after a telling conversation Friday night of a hint his lead teacher mentioned. More to come as his teacher seemed on board with this idea when we emailed this weekend....

As we were looking for clothes Sat night for Bill, I desperately was trying to find a chair to rest my very swollen legs and feet. Unfortunately Ben decided that this would be the opportunity to pull is penis out of his big boy underwear and proceed to rub it all over the 3 way mirrors at the local dept store, dying laughing. Blanket apology to those shocked, definitely NOT a Christmas card pic to capture.

Bill and I traded Ben duty on Sunday so that I could hit the 1/2 price day at the Kids Exchange sale and he could hit the gym and see Avitar (again). Good plan since Ben most of the day wanted to chill on the couch watching TV. I should have called it not to go, but I got a super close parking place after scoping out the backside of the building Thursday, got in and beelined to the 4T clothes. Made out within 5.00 of what I wanted to spend as well as some frightening pics of what else was for sale (seriously what mother would put that outfit on a 4 year old BOY?) Also picked up some loot for friends and in a search for Halo sleep sacks for another friend found two big bags of preemie boy clothes.

On that note, while I was waiting over an hour in line to check out needing to hit the bathroom badly and have eaten the protein bar I had squired away I call my friend Laura H who is at week 32 expecting twins. We had been texting back and forth since she was admitting for contractions last week. She is staying on complete bed rest in the hospital for the duration to attempt to get her to Week 34 to deliver. I truly think God only let's the toughest of all Superwomen be moms to twins. Sending her such good thoughts here at the critical end. If I can swing it I may drive down next weekend to help with her 2 year old son and to see her in the hospital. I know she would do the same if the tables were turned and frankly so easily could have been.

NOT ready to start the 2nd semester tomorrow, but I am 45 days and counting until Maternity Leave!!!!

You Have to See it to Believe It!

Back in the summer of 2007 I asked my friends to stage an intervention for me if I EVER uttered the words, "I'm going again to go to the Kids Exchange Sale ." As I can see all it took was the desire to rid my house of a Batman Toddler Bed and Kiddie Table/chairs, and my childhood dollhouse to once again not heed their advice that the time to money earned ratio = not worth it. Monday was a utter fiasco first with the whole hospital thing and I should have just called it, but the allure to shop first and also rid my house was strong so I forged ahead.

Back during summer '07 after a month of baggin' and taggin' I made about $400 and rid ourselves of the 33 oneies in the drawers along with any and all baby stuff we didn't want to keep for a second. So this year knowing we are expecting a baby, Ben's birthday falls 2 months later, and some of the baby items I have lent out cannot be returned due to damage or lost status, I hit the sale.

Background- Kids Exchange bills themselves to have 25,000 consigners since all it takes is putting in 10 items to sell. People show up in trucks, the delivery kind on unloading day. It is held at our local fairgrounds in a building that also houses the cow and goats during the annual fair. It reeks of animal waste mixed the the raw adrenline of mothers running to an arena of strollers. TRUE, I witnessed it!

If you consign you get to shop the day before the sale opens to the public and avoid hours in the check out line. If you are an masochist then you can volunteer to sort items donated and not sold for charity and shop 6 hours earlier. I am not that crazy as having to sort hundreds of potties is not worth being first in line. Nor is breaking up fights not seen since a wedding dress sale at Filene's Basement over said potties. Literally there are wall, yes walls of chicken wire to hang shoes across the length of building.

I offered my extra pass to my friend who has a 5 month old daughter (who by the way was the most perfect baby the entire sale) I told her to expect a level of baby loot never seen before and that I HAD to get a shot of her face upon entering. It worked out well given the weather was 40 and cold rain to tag team shopping and then loading. I also snagged a pass for Ben's teacher also expecting a spring baby. I figured anyone who deals with a poopy Ben daily, that's the least I could do for her.

So what did I get?

Replacement Bottle Warmer, dishwasher baskets/drying racks
Duplo Leggos
2 pieces of artwork/lamps for Ben's new Transportation themed room
3 HotWheels Trick Tracks that can be linked to make a mega track (future birthday)
Play Outside gas pump
Sit and Spin (birthday)
Tonka Giant Tow truck (birthday)
Cars Matching game and Hungry Hippos
Baby/Toddler swim stuff
20 jars of unopened Playdough for a 1.00 (Description on tag... Drowning in Playdough)
Giant Water Guns (bought them out of super soakers and water launchers)

My friend walked away with furniture galore at pennies on the dollar in great condition.

So was it worth it? Since we didn't even hit (or have room to lug any more to checkout) I am going back on half price day for clothes. At this point Ben may wear a stained Spiderman t-shirt all summer if not.

No ice storms, Nail Tek Futures, and Monster Truck Dreams

For all the ways that the January 18th SUCKED, the 19th made up for it. Yahoo to ring in 3-5 without some of the greatest hits of my 3-0 with no ice storms that shut down the city on the same day I had to make it cross town with a $5,000 check to the Student Trip company for the one and only overnight fieldtrip I ever planed. Nice that on that same day Bill came to school and lead my 2nd block class in singing to me with a huge bunch of flowers. Major brownie (electronics) points

So this birthday was filled with giving retake exams for a group of students who under new state standards get one additional chance before a review all all the work they should have kept for the semester. Guess who gets to collect and organize the work? I really want to hand some them a brochure for the nail tek program at the local community college with my blessing.

I was able to hold off on the glucose testing until later in the week but I am still watching sugar intake. Probably good since I threw up the complementary cake in the parking lot of the restaurant we ate at Tuesday night. As far as gifts I am getting the watch of my choice to replace my 10+ watch that I think Bill got at Service Merchandise pre Bankruptcy. I was kinda sad when it literally fell off and shattered in the school parking lot on one of the recent 17 degree mornings. It was my daily reminder of my weight loss as it was like a bracelet and would slide all the way up my arm. Nice that Bill made me a card detailing that Spongebob and Hannah Montana both have watches to consider.

Best part was Ben's super sweet version of singing happy birthday in which I think the word "monster truck" was mentioned. That's right, we are going this weekend to a monster truck rally for my birthday. It's more that it coincides with my birthday and after the sheer joy by all Vinsons at the Disney Stunt Spectacular this is proof that I am a boy mom and God help this poor child should it be female.

Half Life at 70

A little pre-birthday scare yesterday with a trip to the hospital. All ok, but after a weekend of sketchy movement and fluid loss I thought I should call. I'm at 28 weeks so they brought me in for a NST. No go for finding the heartbeat at the OB so they sent me over to the hospital. Since I had to do the repeat glucose test later this week I went in fasting hoping to knock it out too. BAD idea, resulting in my blacking out while they were trying to get the monitor on me. All ok once I ate something but I think Ben was a bit freaked out. They decided to have me come back with instructions to eat something low sugar instead of straight out fasting

Once at the hospital they hooked me up and despite Ben trying to put stickers on me while I was laying there and then attempted to get in the bed with me. He was very scared of the heartbeat and movement noices and covered his ears. Luckily after a 30 min run they let me go with a blessing of a healthy baby, wild 3.5 year old bribed with goldfish, and instructions to try and rest and to eat as an 11 lb weight gain to date was on the low side.

Happy Early Birthday to me and in light of all the destruction in Haiti, so pales in comparison. This 35th birthday post is over least 10 years in the making. It wasn't until I heard piece on This American Life that I even really thought that wow, that SO is exactly how I feel about getting older and the very real odds for long term illness.

Moving into this age bracket of 35-39 means really one thing to me: last ditch chance to stave off the same early 40s diabetes diagnosis that both my parents had. In my immediate family no one with the exception of one grandfather lived to be older than 70. Most died in their early 60s or even mid 50s of diabetes complications, cancer, heart disease, even a small town scandal worthy murder-suicide a decade ago. This was my catalyst for even doing weight loss surgery 5 years ago and why Bill decision to do it too was one of the best gifts of time that he could ever give our family.

Personally I see it as paramount that loose the weight I have put back on and do everything in my power to make the next 5 years as healthy as I can. With kids that will be younger than my brother and I were at my parents at age 40 I owe it to them to not have to play parent to me when they are teenagers.

So as much as I really hate this birthday and what it symbolizes, it's also a chance to not follow down the same path and to live for my kids and my family more than for only myself.

Happy Birthday to Me and to more importantly my family today-

Phone Friday- Child of the Day

Once a month at the hemp-lovin'school Ben gets to be "child of the day". This supposedly is a big deal as you get to ring the bell for center changes, lead the line outside, and wear a special sticker. I really liked this pic caught earlier in the week. It's frankly been a long week with him with no naps leading to daily 4-7pm tantrums.

Yesterday's version was because I had taken his Herbie Bear books back to the library and he was afraid someone would steal them. It took ALOT of reassurance that when we go on Sat we will look for more to stop the all out crying and rolling on the floor. Funny how the simple things make all the difference and after this week I agree with that on an adult level too! By the Way- My Freakonomics plan is working beautifully!

Slopin' Sugar

If you are not from the South, this means to gush over someone with praise and complements often because to really express how you feel would entail slapping them like Snooki on Jersey Shore. I had really hoped that I would have passed the 1 hour glucose test last week, but I had a sinking feeling that it likely wasn't happening.

Not that big of a deal as it was borderline and I am set to retest next week as my Big ol' 35th Birthday present! But here's the part that makes me want to scream. Back with my pregnancy with Ben my then OB practice refused to do the test as I was at that point I was only over a year out from surgery and would have likely puked it up as soon as I drank the liquid.

Being the first pregnancy of course I did as told and starting at week 20 blood tested 3 x day and stayed on a low sugar diet as well as a insulin sensitizing medication that I had been on since 2001. This medication is known to help PCOS patients avoid gestational diabetes and miscarriage in the 1st Trimester and I insisted on staying on it 1st time. I got bumped to the high risk caseload and as a result had a couple of extra NSTs and had the great joy of continuously blood testing as I was laboring Ben. Seriously, after an internal monitor, induction, natural birth, pricking my finger every hour was nothing in the pain dept. Frankly I thought it was overkill, but then again I did as told.

In comes my current, different OB practice who from the start thought that the previous protocol was overkill and pulled me off the meds at Week 12. I actually had 2 extra weeks squirreled away and took them too. When things looked good at Week 20, no extra testing ordered, and in fact they said I shouldn't tempt fate until you KNOW for sure that you are having glucose issues.

This time I did opt for the test, downing the super nasty, flat Orange-Crushy drink in the carpool line taking Ben to school. Probably not the best idea, but I only had limited time to get in test and get back to school. In addition to the borderline test I am back on 2 x iron supplements. Again, all this is fine and even if I have to blood test again I know the ropes and the payoff is worth it.

But still....if I had eaten anything at all in the 8 hours prior I would blow it off to everything will be fine with the longer test. But who I am kidding with the amount of diabetes in my family, a borderline repeat would look like a dream!

A Little Freakonomics Experiment

Disclaimer: No one was hurt, experiencing flashbacks, or even will know I tried this out all week. After finishing Superfreakonomics over the weekend I decided that exam week would be a fun way to try out my own experiment. I convinced the AP English 11 teacher to use the book in class and ever since, wanted to run my own test that would benefit ME!

No worries, you don't need to call the State Board as I adhered to the same 150 page testing manual that includes: no knitting while proctoring exams. Seriously while I am really ready to get rid of some of them, I wouldn't poke an eye out.... that would ruin my experiment.

The Background- NC requires students to take End of Course tests for most core subjects in high school. Five of these tests must be passed to graduate. Mine is one of the five. Every year they change some guidelines of the test so each year kids that are repeating are grandfathered in with different requirements that you must remember. Enjoying the level of bureaucracy yet? There is pressure to move kids that have failed before on to pass the test as there is nothing like an 18 year old freshman (other than to have that 18 year old freshman scare the crap out of the rest of the class to behave, been there done that.)

Knowing that I have a whole glut of these kids in one class that are repeating, this was my catalyst to try this experiment. Also, after giving the practice exam I relized two things. The repeating kids being within 10-20 points of the score needing to pass. My Honors kids were only 3-5 questions away from not passing as they came in overconfident. Again, it doesn't matter if you pass the class you MUST pass the test to move on. (Note there is a ridiculous portfolio review for students who DO pass the class but not the test and EVERY year I have to sit though a long meeting with each student, crying parents, administrators, and district office personnel to decide if they will pass)

My bottom line is to have as many kids pass the first time out the door. Plus as someone who has been told before in a job interview, "if you could get those kids to pass at School X, then we would expect the same here." I have really good scores going back to the year I student taught. Not to blow my own horn but in education believe me no one will recognize you unless you are a CRAPPY teacher they are trying to can, good teachers get rewarded with AP classes and Senior Elective on Fedual Japan (TRUE). My scores tend to scale 10-20% higher than state average across the board and on economics goals that number often is close to 30% higher than state average.

If you were to come to my class most days you would see that I have a No Excuses, Take No Prisoners approach. If you want to sleep no luck, you will be leading the 7 Steps for Running for Election Dance Off. I actually sprinkle glitter (magic knowledge dust on big test days. I lead off a bureaucracy agency rap off proving if this no talent ass clown can do it, you can too.

So back to Freakonomics. While the sequel was nothing like the original in comparison the one thing I took away was that people do things for incentive. No duh? Hello sheer bribery with my child, students, my spouse, even myself. But since this is the last go round I decided that on the chance I am back next year (or the following year) that why not go out on a bang, plus I seriously don't want to have to sit through more waiver hearings all next week, and I want to come back and teach THIS class not freshman level World Studies which is seriously like running an nuthouse, and yes due to sheer numbers you always get a couple of sections even if you specialize in another class. SO... here was my plan.

Every year the state sets a new cut score with -1 Standard Deviation for what is passing. I used to write questions for the state test so I am privy to that magical number range they will consider. This info has slowly leaked out to teachers who want to search the state boards website archives too, so it's not a state secret. What sucks here is that the score is often higher like a 73 than is passing the class like a 70 giving most students who are passing sitting the fence an over inflated feel that if they are passing the class they will also pass the test.
Even honors students get cocky and blow it off only to squeak by as the state requires the test to count 25% of a final grade. I typically have Honors students with 85 ave. and Regular level with a 70 coming into the test consistently over the past years.

So after running the practice test last week and analyzing the data, I decided to formulate an experiment telling students cut score to pass the test was 5 points higher than it actually was for honors students and 3 points lower for the regular level. So failing students had even more of an incentive to pass thinking that they had a chance in hell to pass if they could just pull out a few more questions and honors knew that the 2-3 questions they missed could put passing in jeopardy. I also played off the fact that since I have worked on this test, I know the "magic number" and even wrote on the board on Exam Day, "Remember the Score to be Out the Door." Exam grades are not numeric, just pass/fail so I also controlled for the fact that they will never know the final grade.

The Incentive for Me- Fewer last chance grade conferences with crying parents, get grades finished sooner so I can leave early next week, leave after baby with top grades so that I come back in a good position to inherit my old classes even if I take the whole year off, fewer angry students/parent emails, and oh yeah more kids pass so they don't have to take up space next semester in over loaded spring classes.

Quadruple win with incentive for me as the prize of most importance. Will post on Friday the stats if the lying for incentive scheme worked. Damn, should this work, should have done 10 years ago.

6 Positive Things about the Weekend

Since one of my New Years Resolutions is to try to find the positive even when hard, I think this weekend qualifies. My weekend consisted of 12 hours of driving, 26 hours over 2.5 days on hospital duty with my mom who cycled between crazy loony med induced talk and her normal (also often bizarre) self, lots of nasty hospital food, very swollen prego legs and feet, a cold house both nights, and in general still feeling sick with this cold the entire time. BUT... here's the positive!

1. I finished Superfreakonomics. So I had to buy the audiobook as I simply couldn't concentrate on the paper version all the times I tried to start it. I loved, loved, loved the original and I liked this too to a lesser degree. I'm inspired to try my own Freakonomics experiment this week with Semester State Exams with my students

2. I got home in time to read a book and get good night kisses. Bill had done laundry, dishes, and helped unload my car (even with his bum knee). The BEST gift of walking in and having limited responsibilities after a weekend full. THANK YOU!

3. Ikea run x 2. Friday night returns, shopping, more returns when they misrung the sale and being a person who believes in karma did the right thing and pointed out they forgot to charge me for a 80.00 piece. Realizing that I had another piece at my mom's that has yet/or ever to be put together so I took it back on the way home and picked up the stuff I had forgotten in my snot-induced coma haze.

4. Found a way to cut 20 mins off the drive to SC. More traffic but less 2 lane country roads that I always hit in the dark. Plus Bojangles!

5. Tons of grading completed so I can finish final grades more quickly this week.

6. Picked up a new carseat at BRU. Had been looking for a discontinued pattern and alas of COURSE the Greenville, SC still had it. Tried to talk them down and got a little off. Outside of diapers, wipes, and formula this baby is set.

Just for good measure #7. I worked for a bit on the new freeze ahead blog and hope to have up it once I finish entering and linking a tag cloud of 25-30 recipes before going live.

There you go, ended what had been a craptastic week on a high note and feel a little better finally from the antibiotics.

Calling All Cars

I'm been a little MIA both on updating the blog, returning emails, and uh..answering even the most simple questions. Alas, I'm still here just burried under with another busy week at work, trying to catch up from being sick, also trip to SC this weekend.

Post soon, but now folding Mt Vinson of laundry, disinfecting my 2 week sick bed, packing lunches, eating the first meal of the day since I missed both lunch and breakfast today. I kinda have my priorties out of whack!

Good news is that I can finally breathe and hoping to crash once Ben is in bed. Tomorrow is GO TIME with final day to review before State Exams Wednesday and with 23 students STILL failing, miles to go before I sleep. Seriously thinking of a little Freakonomics experiment of my own to conincide with exams. Inspired or just loony, will post later this week if it works!!!

Random Wednesday... aka Still Sick

Well what I hoped was an upturn in the snot and mucus department was indeed just a teaser. I am just as congested and have the same sinus headache that I have now had going on a week. On that note, here are some ramblings that likely a more clear headed person wouldn't have:

1. Not being able to take any real drugs SUCKS. Seriously, if I wanted to go rogue or act like it was Little House on the Prairie with all these homeopathic remedies then I could accept it but not being able to breathe going on a week is driving me nuts.

2. Add to being up at 3 am due to said cold, now for the past 2 nights the dog has done one of the following: wanted to go out, puked, peed, vomited. Or on one night, all 4. Seriously, no one else is allowed to be sick if you need adult help.

3. Taking your child out of school to go to Disney World the week before exams if stupid. It's even more stupid when said student's entire grade is riding on the final exam and I will have to defend why I failed them (and fill out a butt load of burucratic forms).

4. Our newly "elected by 11% of the electorate" school board scare me. Haven't we already learned our lesson about power in the hands of the uninformed. The fact that 5 people that I don't know are making decisions that will in the end determine if or when I return to this profession is not fair.

5. My OB's nurse referred to my baby as, "first year of college already paid for, yeah I can undertand why you are a bit hesitant not to take anything" Nicely put and hoping not to have to return to 3 x a day blood testing after my glucose test tomorrow.

6. I actually told our testing administrator this am that I had nor the time or interest to read a 150 booklet related to administrating state tests. I've done this for 10 year, show me where to sign that I won't give the kids the answers. I SHOULD have added that #80 on form F is a question that I wrote on fiscal policy for God's sake when I did test writing for the state back when I was a young, engaged, childless teacher.

7. I'm cold and I live in a place that is not suppose to be 17 degrees when I leave for work in the dark.

8. I'm also wishing that I had eaten breakfast or even lunch without it being in the hall while asking two students to not give each other VD outside my room.

9. I want to drive to SC this weekend like getting a hole in the head. Wait, maybe that will make my cold better.

Resoultions, Smeolutions

Before I list 2010 goals, I felt the need to look back at what I posted as goals for 2009. As it goes down it was a tough, tough year both for us individually, as a married couple, as parents to a sweet, but typical 3 year old boy. As always there is much more to the story than got posted online, but by year end we celebrated that we did it together even when seeing past the next day was all we could do.

2009 Goals
1. Work on Baby V part deux
2. Make some type of resolution about my job
3. Potty train Ben
4. Make use of the new elliptical
5. Be a more supportive spouse and show appreciation more often

Final Tally? a big hurrah for accomplishing #1 and for working diligently on the others consistently throughout the whole year (minus the elliptical).

2010 Goal- Focus on one MAJOR goal throughout the year

Work on being a more attentive parent. This includes making the most of the time at hand, being present in the moment and almost more importantly, just recognizing the moment in the midst of daily life. Adding another child into the mix makes this priority number one for me as I learn to divide priorities and readjust to babymode again. Reading Bad Mother recently just made this point even more of a goal as a parent and as a person.

I think not knowing the gender just adds to the excitement as we round out the last months and in light of how this pregnancy evolved, the most appropriate way to put all our hope and trust in the final outcome. I actually have much more on this I want to say but not for today. Ben and I washed the baby doll last night and talked about being a older brother and it just feels right to be bring another life into our home and family.

So with that I also include my other ongoing goals: continuing to help Ben with potty training, work on setting more limits with Ben, continue to show support and appreciation to Bill for the small things, keep up with a weekly check in meeting and learn from the pitfalls of 2009, pledge to take care of myself, get back into exercising once the baby is safely here, saying NO to extra commitments, work on seeing the positive even when it seems none to be had, break 250 posts for 2010, and put real effort into my freeze ahead blog, continue to choose to read over watching tv, what else?

How about in general go back the only real goal and live in the moment for my family and for myself. If I can do this than everything else will just be icing on the cake.

72 Hour Hold

Not that I want to be in any type of forced confinement of the psychiatric or incarsaration type, but being sick now going on since New Years Eve morning and progressively getting worse has to qualify as imprisonment of the house arrest type. I woke up on Thursday in the middle of the night to to stuffy head and intense headache and remembered that I had promised some trade time for childcare (already provided) with a friend so I sucked it up and faced the day. Let me tell you that a room full of children screaming on inflatable jumpers will not make you feel better.

I didn't want to miss NYE festivities but did call the host and told her I was going to scale back on what I had promised to make 1. I was feeling worse as the day continued on, and 2. I didn't want to make others sick so I stuck to things I didn't have to handle. I also told Bill that we wouldn't be ringing in the New Years in north Raleigh with a long drive home, more like 9 pm and by Midnight Bill and I were both asleep with the Hangover at the famous taser scene.

We did have a good time, saw old friends we hadn't seen in a while, particiated in a while elephant exchange in which I unloaded the infamous Tired Ass Soak for a Puritan Lace Collar and sensual Amber lotion exchange.

I have spent the last 72 hours without leaving the house, not even to go outside. Why would I anyway with a cold blowing wind and temps in the 20s. I did get all the decorations put away, helped Bill with IKEA furniture assembly (note that holding piece doesn't really qualify, got some general cleaning done, started planning for a Leggo birthday party, finished a crappy bookclub book, and sorted 2009 paperwork to keep.

What I also did was in keeping with my 2010 resolution to look for the small moments with Ben. We played we cars, built competing leggo towers, played with play doh, colored poster sized pictures from Cars, watched kid movies (even I), and attempted the new 9 in 1 puzzle.

No regrets that being on a 72 hour hold while sucked not being able to breathe or the ongoing sinus headache that has had me up at night, helped me have some much needed time to just exist before the craziness of life returns tomorrow.