Mozelle and Roy would have been proud

When I met Bill in the fall of 1994 I knew the following things about him:

1.  He was the overnight computer lab manager and would put a sign on his face that said,"wake if having issues, if not, let me sleep."
2.  He was in my 8am French class, and seemed like a nice guy when I saw him in the foreign language lab and asked for help once Freshmen year.  Note it was not overnight and I did not have to wake him.
3.  He already knew several of my sorority sisters and had taken one to the Spring formal Freshmen year when I went out with him for my Sophomore year sorority pledge bash.

What I didn't know was that over the course of just a few months after we had our first date, that he would take me to meet his grandmother, Mozelle Evans.  Mrs. Evans was in the hospital the first time I met her. On the same day I also met his grandfather, Roy, and his mom.  His grandmother would later say she thought I must be from a good family to come and see her in the hospital.  I remember thinking anyone who would take me to meet their grandmother within a month of dating must HAVE a good family.

Over the past 19 years of knowing his family I can say that they are kind and welcoming.  Mozelle and Roy were salt of the Earth folk that knew the importance of family.  Such was theme over the weekend when Bill's younger brother James married Katie.  I knew that I would like Katie when I met her at our annual summer trip to Florida and she offered to take Ben and Ian (along with James) to a water park.  After making sure she did indeed understand that Ian liked to wander and Ben was fearless, she still consented to taking the boys and returned with both un-phased but also very tired.

Ben and Ian love her.  My mother in law loves her and most importantly James loves her.  At Bill's toast at the reception he remarked that they bring out the best in each other, which is what I remember best about Bill's grandparents.  They complemented each other like no other couple I ever met.  Much more than either my sets of grandparents.  I often thought of them as my own grandparents in the ways they welcomed me into their family.

Everyone wore matching Superhero themed Chuck Taylors

I am sad that neither lived to see their youngest grandchild marry in a beautiful sunset ceremony under a blanket of fall color marry.  Am I glad that the bride and groom nixed a decision to have the boys walk their 90 lb dog down the aisle with the rings on an attached pillow, uh yes.  Do I wish that Ian hadn't started jumping up an down showing his Spiderman underwear during the ceremony?  Uh, yes again.  How about when he ran towards me crying when he lost the quarter he was suppose to stand on during the ceremony prompting me to exit stage left with him sobbing as not drown out the recessional music? Why yes, I think you can pick up on the theme of the night of mom in full-on damage control mode as not to ruin a wedding.

Do I wish that of all days of not napping that being utterly crazy at the reception resulted in me taking Ian back to the hotel early, missing out on a large part of the party?  Of course.  I can say Ben was at an all time high of mature, helpful behavior.  I whispered into Ben's ear that if I were his girlfriend Mary, of shoes being thrown over the fence fame, I would marry him as he looked so handsome.  He blushed and I smiled.

While I didn't take any pictures I hope that the family shots will reveal how cute the boys looked, and one that the photographer got his his pants falling off on the dance floor. No one would have laughed harder than Bill's grandparents.  

A wedding is but a day; a marriage is a lifetime.  Happiest of marriages to James and Katie.  I wish you a lifetime of happiness.

One day he will get it

Ben and I traveled to Washington DC Friday afternoon for what I hope will continue as an annual tradition for an overnight trip for just the two of us.  This year I gave him the option of either going to Smithsonian Natural History or the the Air and Space Annex near one of the DC airports.  Beth H. graciously offered for us to stay with her family like last year.

He opted for Natural History as he is in a dinosaur and fossil phase.  Luckily we drove out of the rain near the NC/VA border and after a quick dinner arrived in time to say good night to Seth and William.  One of the things I loved best about this visit was that Beth and I got time to chat, eating Sugar Mama cupcakes by her fireplace.  Yes, the boys were crazy and adding a pre-planned friend spending the night Saturday night added to the insanity.

We found all of them shirtless, eating (again) and laughing at Home Alone 2. Beth told them they were not to be up before 7 am on Sunday.   All were up at 5 am on Sunday and we found a map of how they would sneak downstairs. I LOVE the seven year oldness of it all.

On the museum front, we took the Metro into the city after bombing out on street parking due to the Autism Speaks walk on the Mall.  I mentioned that we should check out the transportation exhibit in American History on our way to Natural History.  I had the crazy idea for my WWII graphic- novel loving child to stop by the Price of Freedom exhibit before we left thinking he would want to see the WWII items and move on.
Nope, we were in that one exhibit for a good hour and a half.  What may seem like a parenting fail to take him through an intense at times exhibit dedicated to American warfare, became one of the best experiences I've ever had with him.  Ben checks out books each week about War from the children's nonfiction section of our local library.  We talk about what happened in the war, the bad and good guys, and the weapons before he returns each week.  How many 7 year olds can you you about Guadalcanal?

At one point we were looking at the information about the decision to use the atomic bomb and Ben asked a particularly mature question.  A man who had been touring the exhibit nearby mentioned to me that he was very knowledgeable about the war. Ben told him about his books and  I mentioned that I teach American History.  I also mentioned that I share a similar love of our military history but that more importantly I want him to have the correct information explained on his level instead of just wondering aimlessly through the books.

We headed on Smithsonian Natural history seeing the dinosaur, gems/minerals, oceans, fossil lab, and mammals exhibits. We wrapped up our day, bought a tshirt for him and for Ian.  Ben opted to pick a book about dinosaurs over a toy and we headed home for the sleep over.

On the way out we stopped to take our picture near a bank of beautiful fall trees on our way to the Metro.  Ben reached over and planted a big kiss on my cheek.  From the same boy that told me he was too old to hold by hand earlier in the day, a moment of utter sweetness.

I know that one day he will be too old and cool to hang out with mom, but for now I will take that sweet kiss and tuck it away. I hope when he is raising his own children that he will carve out alone time to try to know and love his kids, their interests, who they are becoming as they grow up.

Thank you Ben for a wonderful trip and for sharing a part of your interests with me.  My heart is so, so full.

xoxox- Mom

What I didn't do yesterday

Grade anything.

I didn't look at anything remotely resembling something school related. Well, minus meeting an end of the month deadline for my student teacher's education program.  

What did I do on a very rare day off?

1. early morning gym workout
2. got a facial
3. went to Target, alone. Along with the dry cleaners and the bank.Being alone running errands is better than a Carribean vacation. Period.
4. picked up Ben's prescription
5. took myself to lunch at Neomode's with a good book in hand
6. prepped chicken white bean chili and chicken noodle soup in triplicate
7. dropped off Ben's field trip payment to the school
8. Secured camps for Ben over the holidays.  Can we say if Ian is in school, Ben is in camp and mom has a quiet house to get something done.
9. house chores including re-triming the steams on the arrangement I made on Monday.  With some fall leaves I picked up while walking the dog, I had to take a picture of what 3 cheap grocery store bouquets can resemble with some love.
10. returned a bunch of calls and emails, ignored in the last weeks due to work
11. took the dog on an extra long walk on the Greenway listening to an audiobook and loving the leaves at peak color
12.  took the boys to Dollar Tree to buy silly string and glow bracelets for Halloween and carved the last of our pumpkins.

I wrapped up the night with a nice night sitting outside drinking wine and eating cheese with friends.

A nice day, and way to wrap up one of my favorite months of the year.

A most normal, average Monday. Just perfect.

Coming off a busy weekend filled with Halloween plans a plenty including a block party, today was a needed break.  It was a teacher workday for end of the quarter grades and yes, I did curse the computer and the new "let's use technology that takes us back ten years in the opposite direction thanks to our cash-strapped state of education" software that the state has contracted for use by all counties. PowerSchool I think not, more like Power Suck. I didn't get a stack of AP essays graded in time to make the cut.  It was a nice break to be with the kids eating doughnuts off a string in a party game and eating so much candy my pants were tight today.

Bill and I met with Ben's teacher for fall conference earlier today. I walked the dog on a nice fall afternoon, prepped dinner, and picked the boys up a little early.

At day care pick up Ian had a big sticker to "check the dirty clothes bin." Thinking that my eight loads of weekend laundry all clean and put away was about to be ruined by a pair of pee/poop soaked undies and pants were missing.  In their place was MY underwear, a single, and yes clean pair, that had ridden to school in a cleaned nap-time blanket.  I laughed out loud hard. So hard my I add that by the time I got to the car tears were streaming down my face I was still laughing.

We hit up Trader Joes where I bought flowers for myself and let each boy buy one treat for good behavior and because I was secretly celebrating my favorite day of the year.

It is an anniversary that passes every year with little fanfare.  It passed yesterday filled with the boys sharing their TJs stickers with me only to ask for them back, nighttime routines of stalling for extra time denied, but did include extra hugs and telling each of them how much they are my favorite Ben and favorite Ian.   I arranged the flowers, did nightly chores, prepped school stuff, and watched DVR'ed 60 minutes.  It was the most ordinary days, and the best part is I get to do it all again tomorrow.

Weekend

I busted on rush tickets to see Pussy Riot at the Full Frame Documentary theater in Durham Friday.  Boo, instead Bill and I got caught up on Daily Show coverage of the shutdown. I would have much preferred to be seeing some feminist, punk rock protesting Russian ladies instead of Jon Stewart.

Saturday we finished decorating, yes really more had to be put out, for Halloween.  Minus cutting the pumpkins we are done. Also on the Saturday agenda:  yardwork, gym, errands, baby shower, and our friend Katie coming over to make jack-o-lantern pizzas and Oreo dirt. Thank you Katie for a fun afternoon!

Sunday we headed for a 7 hour stint at the State Fair. Bring on some deep fried goodness between riding rides, superior people watching, and listening to a thrilling video about school bus safety by Toby Keith. Seriously, I had to go into the School bus safety exhibit, which not surprisingly was inside a bus, to pull the boys out. Sadly not until I had first watched a video about train safety in which it insinuated that the kid got hit by the train and THEN the horrid Toby Keith school bus safety.  I found out later that Ben and Ian refused to leave until the volunteer came back with a new supply of school bus shaped erasers.  They much more quickly exited the Germ City exhibit next door when they realized they were going to leave eraser-less and only get to wash their hands.

New this year was a trip across the lake to see a giant smoky the bear as well as the NC Forrest Patrol helicopter and fire truck.  Also new on the list was Ian riding a roller coaster with Bill.  He loved it and asked if he could go on the larger one, bus alas when you are 37 inches high, it was a no-go.

By the end we were all punchy and tired and once home called it a night early.  Mom shirked some much needed grading to continue reading a can't put it down book. The same one she stayed up reading until after 1am and then couldn't sleep due to creepy images running through my overactive imagination.

Tonight, Bill and I are sans children to see Nine Inch Nails.  I SO wanted to go the last time they were in the area in June of 2006 the day before my due date with Ben.  Sadly, we passed thinking giving birth at a NIN concert might somehow be warped into some over-the-top graphic video for the next album. Or, maybe as Ben's due date was 06/06/06, we just didn't want to tempt fate.  Regardless, my 38 year old self is meeting up with my 18 year old self tonight and I am going to be in some Pretty Hate Machine heaven.

Love List- October Edition

Hello October.  Hello home to my favorite month as well as day of the year.  Don't tell anyone but I have been shirking my nightly grading duty in place of reading a great book.  Sure, I'm setting myself up for more this weekend, but man I love curling up in bed with a book I can't put down.

Making my love list for October:

1. The Wake County Library- I never dreamed I would be in sight of finishing 50 books in 2013.  I finished Joyland by Stephen King earlier this week and have Night Film and The Yonahlossee Riding Camp for Girls to pick up at our weekly library run today.  I put aside two other books started this week as I don't want to throw away precious reading time on meh books.  I love the amount of audio and eBooks that are available, often SO much more quickly than in old school book form all for FREE!

2. Crockpot cooking-  Ok, not to sound like some middle-aged housewife in love with her appliances, but I have managed to get homemade soup, roast beef, taco meat, brisket, and chicken all cooked within the last couple of weeks thanks to mom's little helper.  Many of these were freeze ahead and you can hate me for meeting the 6 o'clock dinner rush with all guns blazing.

3. Fall walks- Someone asked me recently what is my favorite thing I do with the boys, and without hesitation I said, "taking the dog and the boys on a daily afternoon walk".  So not everyday are we leisurely feeding the ducks and meanderings around the neighborhood lake, but more days than not we take a 15-30 walk through our neighborhood riding bikes/trikes and walking the dog.  It is a nice decompression after a long day at school and work.  Plus I am sucker for feeding ducks.

4. My AP Gov't kids.  Without a long, boring rant, it's been a mixed bag with teaching my baby of classes.  I feel like I pour so much time into this class and have been met with SO much whining over workload. Sadly even from some, not all, parents who don't get the "college-level survey course" that this class deserves to be taught not some watered down rerun of Sophomore Civics class..  Finally, yesterday during weekly debate on a public policy topic, it all just came together.  Expecting a knock down, drag out over gay marriage I was surprised at their maturity and level of preparation.  Add to it students who have genuinely been interested in the shutdown and were sending me links of pork barrel politics as part of the agreement.  I will proclaim that my work is done here.

5.  Ending a year of kiddo therapy with Ben this week- Most likely a deserving post for longer thoughts, but after a year with weekly appointments, medication trials, parenting appointments leaving me feeling like loser parent of the year we are at the end. I don't regret a minute of time and energy spent being proactive instead of reactive.  As a parent you do what you can do within your resources both financial and what you have to give emotionally. At times this year has been just as hard as any time I personally have done in therapy.  I never imagined that at such an early age I would be faced with my own child needing help.  I'm glad that our family made it a priority to seek answers instead of waiting on the sidelines in hopes that things would just get better on their own.

Happy weekend.  We are attempting to get rush tickets for the Full Frame Documentary Film Friday tonight, baby showering it for a friend, Ms Katie coming to do a special cooking afternoon with the boys, an art class for the 2nd grader, and family bound for the NC State Fair.

I left my heart in San Francisco

Sorry Tony Bennett and your famous song, but I think Brian's heart is IN San Francisco.

A picture texted from my brother and his girlfriend of the last 14 months on a current extended trip on the West Coast.

So unbelievably happy for him.

For them.

If you inflate it, they will come

My husband will tell you that he loves Halloween more than Christmas with a straight face.  I'm not sure if he had some type of unfortunate Christmas sweater incident in his childhood, but I can tell you we have become THAT house on our street.

Since mid-September, yes September, we have slowly been decorating the exterior of the house.  First is was just some all purpose fall decorations. A fake pumpkin here, one there, a few pots of mums.  By end of the month it was full on with 5 different types of lights, hay bales, a fake skeleton wearing a cowboy hat, tombstones, skulls....

ok, you get the picture. I will admit I was the one behind the personalized family signs.  A pumpkin that reads, "the Vinson family" and a giant Candy Corn with our names.  Given my love of candy corn I just had to purchase an ode to the Food of the Gods.

Recently, I came home one Sunday to find not ONE but TWO new inflatables on the porch.  I've give you the ghost one (pictured) is kinda cute.  The other, a pumpkin on a stand, is average decorating fare.  I mean if you are going to do the inflatable thing, why not this beauty? A giant 11 foot black cat that can blow smoke and turn its motorized head?  All available for just over $100.  A week of groceries or the ability for people to question your sanity.  The choice is simple, right?

The other night I was rounding into our driveway after walking the dog only to have a car pull up in slow motion with all the windows down.  The mother inside was pointing to her two kids in the back with what I can imagine was part wonder and excitement on the kids part, likely at the extent of decorating at their house was a lone pumpkin.  Perhaps there was a exclamation of , "Good God, imagine what Christmas looks like at this house!"  Since I own Christmas in my Williamsburg -style arrangement goodness, sadly this lady will be disappointed should she come prowling around again.

For now though, until likely mid November when last year the decorations finally came down, follow the orange and purple glow to Casa Vinson.

The Bad Boy School for Bad Words

Conversation with Ben and Ian in the car on the way home yesterday:

Ben and Ian calling each other the worst names they can conjure including: stupid, poopy, diaper, dummy. 

Mom:  "I don't want to hear any more ugly words.  The next word I hear, you are loosing a bear buck.

Ben:  "ok, I'll just use the F word"

Mom: "WHHHAATTT? Where did you hear the F word?

Ben:  "Afterschool, I've heard it is worst than the S word (note the S word in our house is "stupid")

Mom:  "Yes, it's not a nice word for anyone to use. Do you know what the F word is? Secretly hoping that he doesn't actually know if because he has heard ME say it in a moment of anger"

Ben:  "Foo-Foo,  is that right?"

Mom: "uh no"

Ben: "so what does the F word mean, so I'll know if I hear it?"

Mom:  "I'm not saying it because I don't want to even say it out loud, it's THAT bad!"

Ben:  "Fine, then I'm just going to go the the Bad Boy School for Bad Words and learn it myself and I'll tell you"

Note that I overhear the boys (Ian included) in the midst of a fight in the playroom calling each other, "no YOU are the F word"  over and over.

Happily I am glad that so far the Vinson house is not doubling as the Bad Boy School for Bad Language.

Yet.

Weekend

Not much to report as 90% of the weekend was spent at home.

I worked late on Friday to curb having to work all weekend at home. Nothing like an email sent at 5:15 pm telling you your kid cut my class today and that I literally watched him get into his car and drive away from the classroom window.

My plan paid off at other than about 3 hours Sunday and a couple of hours Saturday night, I have managed to get a chunk of a book read for an enormous part of the weekend between loads of laundry and some freeze ahead cooking for the week. I even met up with a friend for a late dinner Sunday night.  It was a much needed low-key weekend.

I did have Ian for the bulk of the time since Bill and Ben had gone camping with Y-Guides. We started Saturday morning at "Spooky Boogie Bones" parent and child art class.  He made his monster look nothing like the model.  He told me that "because he was three, his had three eyes."

I swung by home to get Ben, hit the nearby park to blow off steam, then over to have them measured for the family wedding they are in next month.  I do believe this side of hell is being trapped in a Men's Wearhouse with two wild boys attempting to tear the fitting room apart, particle board by particle board.  "I guarantee you'll love the way you look,  said Men's Wearhouse founder George Zimmer.  "I frankly don't care how they look in this wedding, let's get the hell out of this store" said an exasperated mom trying to keep them from overturning a rack of suit jackets.

It reminded me of when Brian and I were of similar ages and we were at the Her Majesty Outlet in Greer, SC with my mom.  Among the racks of little girl slips and camisoles (because in what lifetime did anyone care about modesty?) that Brian and I overturned an entire circular rack on it's side after exploding out of the middle like an volcano.  My mom managed to drag both of us out of the store and then, attempted not to be outmatched by anyone wanting to question her parenting; wore both of us bare butt out on the hood of her car simultaneously.  That, my friends, is a parenting feat of another generation.

I digress, but man did I totally wish I could have called her and apologized for acting like a tool given Ben and Ian's behavior. Something tells me she knows that the V boys can give anyone a run for their money and is laughing her ass off right about now with a giant "Now, you get it."

While Bill and Ben camped OUT Saturday night, we camped IN complete with popcorn and watching Clifford and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood in Ian's tent.  At one point I got in the tent with him until I convinced him that mom sitting beside the tent was as good as the contortionist position I was in inside the tent.

Sunday we both slept in until I could no longer bribe Ian with the promise of a Dunkin Doughnut to let me keep sleeping.  It was a good weekend filled with some productivity along with lot of time spent in stretchy pants and cozy socks.

Pulling a George Costanza

Just a quick check in.  My "hey, need to post LAST Friday has turned into THIS Friday."

You can likely guess the culprit of work, work, and wait for it... more work. Since Sunday, I'm already at 53 hours/week.  More expected  by weekend- end as any non-kid responsibility time is lined up with grading and a list of parents to contact over failing grades. Plus I'm figuring out how to go about pursuing parent contacts on a cheating ring I have discovered in one of my classes.  I'm treading carefully as the blow back can potentially be difficult in the age of "not my child."  Good times.

The good news is that I picked up another test writing contract for the state. Good money + foot in the door, out off the door of teaching. When I have the time... laughing as I say this as still have personal emails to return that are a good three weeks old.... involves research jobs writing curriculum with a private company as an exit strategy. I might have a marketable skill of value given I have a decade plus of item writing for the state on my resume.  Even a part time gig would be an option if I can pair it with something else to pay the bills.

Don't tell anyone by as soon as I deliver my students to the stadium for the homecoming pep rally later today, I'm sneaking back into the building among the chaos and working through the ra-ra fest.  Last year I literally hid under my desk, a la George Costanza, when I didn't have a classroom and only a cubicle when someone else had the same idea and walked in on my stealth falling down or better yet laying down on the job.

PS- I also have hid during fire drills when not around students to have to lead to safety (aka.. the back of the parking lot.)

Also on the newsworthy front was yesterday as Ben's last day with his counselor.  I meet with her privately next week for I guess a "wrap up and hey do this for the rest of his life" meeting.  Ben described some "finishing my work activity" that I can't say I totally understand, but also felt like it gave him closure.  Maybe learning the word "closure" is part of the activity after a year in kido therapy.  He said he wanted to send her a letter and maybe a picture.  That's my child, I hope, that he shows appreciation for those that give their time and attention to him.

Also on the time and attention front, I overheard Ian's teacher talking about her WIC benefits being cut, or basically stopping.  Little did I know she had a two month old baby.  Can we say stressful life of dealing with a room of 3 year olds and then going home to a baby.  I have been meaning to do a "thanks for teaching my kids this fall card with a small Target gift card to the boys teachers.  Now seems like a good time to do that instead of waiting for Thanksgiving. Stupid, stupid Government for acting like children.

What's on the agenda for the weekend?  A surprise date night tonight to Angus Barn to celebrate Bill being finished with a major release at work that he oversaw.  Bill is heading out of town with Ben with Y guides to camp with their tribe Saturday night.  Ian and I are going to an art class called "Spooky Boogie Bones." Ian and I are doing a date night that involves popcorn at home under a tent of blankets and pillows and watching Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood.  The modern day equivalent of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood that is so bad it is good in all kinds of preschool ways.

Happy weekend.

Teacher by day, wannabe florist by night

Happiness is spending the night doing your dream job.

Last night I redeemed a Groupon voucher at an area floral shop that offers monthly classes.  The October class featured how to make an autumn door swag using dried materials with a handful of fresh flowers.

I was in heaven.  As soon as I opened the door the smell of happiness overtook me.

As this year rolls along at work, every time I look at the flowers on my desk I think about what I wish I was doing, even as some part-time gig.  I realize that to those who stand all day de-thorning roses or getting up to purchase bulk flowers at 5 am that their job is not glamorous.  But to me, creating something everyday that that makes someone feel loved and special has to be a perk of the job.

The whole time I was designing my arrangement I kept looking over the table at the buckets and refrigerators packed with flowers thinking about what I would make.  I really want to make this dream a reality on some level within the next five years.

Worth an overcharged parking fee and a ho hum museum

Brian and I are making more of an effort this year to meet up, especially when it is half way for each of us.  I really want the boys to know what an amazing, generous person he is and for him to serve as a male role model for them.

He is about to leave on vacation with his girlfriend to San Franciso and then will be gone to several weekend-long music festivals.  We opted to meet up yesterday in Charlotte at Discovery Place for the afternoon to visit.


The last time I went to Discovery Place was in 1983 with my 3rd grade girl scout troop.  All I remember was walking through some giant eyeball.  Needless to say the Discovery Place of 2013 is a different place.  Maybe I've gotten spoiled with having Durham Science and Life and Marbles Kids museum so close.  It wasn't that Discovery Place wasn't an engaging museum, but in comparison I expected more for my buck.

Add to it a $16.00 parking garage fee and I felt a little ripped off. But, what was my intended purpose?  To watch a lame film about lions and lay on a bed of nails (of note, I did both.)  Nope, I wanted to hang out with Brian and chat and let the boys have fun. Which they did.

Ben especially loved a chair that levitated using air pressure.  Ian loved beating Ben at a tug of war using a pulley system with Brian's help. We had dinner at Cracker Barrel when my corn muffin lovin' children and my corn muffin' lovin' brother played multiple games of checkers.

Brian and I made plans to make our next visit the NC Zoo as well as check out an Aviation Museum I've just heard about recently.  With Brian's new schedule, he has a bit more flexibility with the upcoming holidays.  We are tinkering with a mountain trip meet up after Christmas with our family and Brian, his girlfriend and her children who are close in age to our kids.

I really love that Brian and I have a different type of relationship than we did just a few years ago.  It make my heart happy to see him in a relationship with someone he cares about deeply.  It makes my heart happy to see him with Ben and Ian and know this side of my brother.

So I couldn't wait a week

Last week seemed like the week that just would not end.  Somewhere in the middle of the week, I unearthed myself from grading papers to scroll Facebook only to see that a good friend had a heart attack. When I read this online I immediately texted her and got the skinny.  Luckily she is now fine and come Friday, I knew that I wasn't going to wait a week to hug her in person at the next book club meeting in my old neighborhood.

Instead, I made a small floral arrangement and showed up at her door on the way home from work.  We chatted about what had happened that put her in the hospital for 3 days. I told her and her daughter some crazy story about showing up at ultra conservative Bob Jones University to take the ACT in cut off shorts and a tank top and was not let in.  All this after Eileen's daughter told me that she is being allowed to take the SAT at an area high school as a 7th grader and she was really nervous.  I laughed, Eileen and Mary laughed. Thinking about not laughing with Eileen for say the next 30-40 years stopped me cold wondering what IF she hadn't taken her husband's advice and gotten checked out.

So before you ask why I'm hanging out with the 60+ crowd, let me go on the record by saying that Eileen just turned 41 last month.  41 YEARS OLD.  She's asking that friends share what she was feeling before and during so that, like her, you don't think you can blow off just thinking it is anything but a HEART ATTACK.

She can tell her own story in her own words. Be prepared to laugh, as even in the midst of tragedy, she can bring the funny.

So...I Had A Heart Attack (AKA: Someone Gave Me A Vag Shiner)

-Love you Eileen, and yes, it is way, way too soon to be reading "Taco Party" at your eulogy.

Love List- September Edition

I had intended to keep this going as a monthly series, but somewhere it faltered in 2013.  It has been a long, long week. One of the hardest of 2013 from an exhaustion standpoint.  I've worked late almost every night grading, contacting parents, working on follow up documents for observations of my student teacher and the 1st year teacher I'm mentoring.

I've had almost every lunchtime and after school stacked with meetings about more testing, more requirements, more hoops. News today of another teacher is leaving my school effective end of the month for a higher paying job to support his family.  That brings the school-wide total to 32 for 2013.

The atmosphere at school this week has been heavy with the loss of Michelle M..  Just yesterday a group of my current students asked if I could tell them when and where the funeral was going to be held.  I sat down with them and wrote out the address and then asked if they had been to a funeral before.  Odd question, but you would be surprised at how many have not. When none of them had I told them what to expect, an idea of what would be appropriate to wear, and that I thought it would mean the world to Mrs. Morrell's family that students came to say good bye.

I was thinking on the way home about things that have kept me going this week, honestly in the last weeks of being back into routines, long days, and extreme time management.

Here's what I am loving in September 2013

1. More help from Bill with the kids.  He's been home earlier, thus able to help me divide and conquer the nighttime routine so I can start on school work earlier than the usual 9/9:30. We are splitting the weekend up into chunks of swap time.

2. Figuring a way to get exercise back into the week.  Ok, this week has been a bust. Since first of August I've made it 2-3 times a week plus have been doing kickboxing on Saturday mornings. Instant.Stress.Reduction

3. Doing better with planned dinners, healthier lunches, going to bed earlier, leaving on time or even early.  All are little battles that if I win on a day to day basis, setbacks don't feel so crushing.

4. Good teachers.  Ben has a wonderful 2nd grade teacher.  She's a veteran without being moldy, knows how to reach out in a positive and encouraging way, and has honed process and procedures along with her content.  My student teacher as well as the 1st year teacher that I'm working with are good teachers at heart. They are new, with much to learn, but they both have already demonstrated they are the real deal.  I take it very seriously that my job is to help them learn all the ins and outs of this profession that will help keep good teachers where they belong, in front of my kids.  Better yet, all kids.

5. Flowers. Yep, flowers.  I've been allowing myself $15 each week for whatever I want to arrange.  It makes my heart happy to see flowers at home or on my desk that I arranged.  Later today I'm dropping a stealth arrangement to surprise a friend who had a medical emergency during the week.  Last night I talked the floral clerk into giving me a discount on an extra vase and some ribbon to save me a trip to the craft store. Next month I redeeming a Groupon for a flower arranging class in hopes I can learn some real techniques, instead of the self taught ones I currently use.

Happy weekend.  We'll be pumpkin patchin' it on teacher appreciation weekend at a local pumpkin farm. Bill has already deemed that our Halloween decorations will be up as soon as we have pumpkins on display. We are about to be THAT house for your enjoyment.

Appetite for Destruction

First up, I talked to the afterschool director about if food could be donated to either our local Food Bank or if the school participated in the Backpack Buddies program.  Yes, to both but that some food still cannot be donated due to parishability.  She also mentioned the lack of manpower in getting the food to the programs consistently.  She indicated that they had at one point participated in BackPack buddies, but believed they stopped.

I suggested if the school PTA would be willing to take on the legwork for getting the leftovers to the right places. I mentioned it would be good PR for the school as well as way to model community to the kids. The afterschool director mentioned she would look into both possibility.

Thanks folks for the suggestions.

I'm currently re-reading Your Three Year Old- Friend or Enemy as well as Your Seven Year Old- Life in a Minor Key.  Both are a great (and quick) read with lots of practical advice. Both confirm that both boys are the epitome of normal to their respective ages. Ben is having a good start to the school year. We've fallen into a routine at home as well as the morning that is proving he is taking more responsibility for himself. Ben continues to fight with Ian to epic lengths, but he also had a sweetness for encouraging Ian to make better choices, offers to help him, and is showing him real tenderness. This is a much celebrated and encouraged side in Ben as well as Ian to accept help instead of fight everything because he is three.

When I leave in the morning or put both boys in bed in night we have a competition to blow the biggest kiss.  It is silly and I ham it up sometimes acting like I am going to fall down the stairs on on the floor their love is so un-containable. Secretly this is one of the best parts of the day. I know in the future this will be the most uncool thing ever and no one will play along.

Ian too is a sweet boy and is doing well in his new class at school.  The assistant director mentioned to me that "I must have really worked with him all summer, as he seems more receptive and ready to listen than in May."  While I did spend an enormous amount of time this summer with him, I don't know that it is really any one thing.  I tried really hard to be consistent with discipline, provide daily outlets for energy, and give him little jobs to do that only "big boys" were allowed to do.  Despite the TWO naps total he took all summer, he also has come into his own with interests and with (a little more) maturity.

But, Ian is destructive in ways Ben never imaged.  I cite living with an older brother who is influential as well as a need to overcome 2nd child syndrome with forced parental attention, even negative attention.  I give you the following examples:

A "boat" made out of his laundry basket

What happens when you try and enforce quiet time in a new place (my brother's house)

Regardless, the little bits of time I see them after work, while hurried and usually frantic with the nighttime schedule, is the best of the day.

Like mother, like son.

Ben is in the afterschool program at his school. It runs until 6 pm daily and includes homework session, outside play, media center and computer lab time, and organized games.  I would love to say I'm not in the last wave of parents squealing into the parking lot each day at pick up, but I am.  With traffic and picking up Ian at daycare first I normally get Ben around 5:30 each day.

Part of the monthly fee includes a afterschool snack.  The other day Ben opened up his backpack to reveal 11 bags of animal crackers that he took. Ben told me he was getting them for him and Ian for the ride home. I have found that these days my car is a rolling grocery in the amount of food I have to keep for two hungry boys. After months of being worried about his weight it is almost funny that eating too much is even an issue. I asked Ben if he had asked if he asked one of the teachers in charge  if he could take all the bags.  Yes, he had.

When I picked him up the next day he had 6 bags of goldfish and was in the process of handing out extras to the other straggler children waiting to go home.  I asked the director if it was ok that Ben had taken all the animal crackers and pointed to his armful of goldfish bags.

She also said yes and mentioned that each day due to some crazy bureaucratic county rule that they have to toss any opened food, even if it is still in sealed bags and containers at the end of the school day.

The next day the kids had yogurt, the same exact brand we eat at home by the cartload. Take a wild guess who at 5 mins until 6 on a super late pick up day took home 23 cups?

Me.

An $11.50 Double Date and a Request

Yesterday I took the boys to the Hurricanes hockey fan appreciation day.  We went last year and had a blast on jumpy things of all configurations, food trucks, bands, and give aways. *Note to Ben who insisted we wait in a long line for 20 minutes so he could spin a wheel to get some realtor-marketed crap. You are your father's son and a marketer's wet dream.

This year it seemed even more popular/crowded and included a hockey game with the players teamed against each other.  For $11.50 the boys ate 5 dollar hotdogs and split a large ice cream as well as dined on their 2 bags of free popcorn.  Did I mention that they ate me out of all money I had with me?

We actually stayed through the entire game even with a squirmy Ian Vinson who wanted to be up in your business.  He is in this stage of wanting  to pull down your pants or lift up your skirt to be funny.

In public it not funny. Not funny at all. We did have a good time screaming for the team and being silly on a gorgeous fall day.

The rest of the weekend was filled with laundry, errands, grading and planning for another week. Friday night we did date night that involved us splitting up and dividing up our tasks.  It was much needed productive, not romantic date. But it allowed us to kick back on Saturday night and not work.

Last night I had just gotten the kids to bed and my phone was going off.  I ignored it with the plans that I was trying to wrap up some grading and then head to bed.  It was notice of a 6:50 am  faculty meeting about the passing of one of our teachers.

Knowing that Michelle M. celebrated her 35th birthday on Friday, but passed peacefully in her sleep after a year-long battle with breast cancer yesterday seems all kind of cruel.  It has never been my news to share, as she was more of a friend of a friend. In these last weeks knowing she was likely at the end, I stopped by mutual friends in her department at school to ask how she was and how they were doing as well. I offered to cover their classes when the time came, so that the department could go together to her funeral.  Michelle was a great mom and spouse. She was loved by her family, friends, and her students whom she treated as extended family.

If ever there is a reason to remember what is really, really worth it at the end of the day or for what days we have, this is it.

Good thoughts and prayers for Morrell family in the time ahead.

Day Trippin' - Paperhand Puppet Intervention Group

I've heard about the Paperhand Puppet Intervention Group for the last couple of years but kept missing the chance to take the boys.  They routinely play the Festival at the Eno in Durham as well as the NC Museum of Art. Alas, I saw they were playing in Chapel Hill yesterday and opted to take the V-boys.

We couldn't have asked for a nicer day, weekend, really.  It was warm without being hot with little humidity. We got there early, yes I know I was equally surprised, and enjoyed some NC bluegrass pre-show.  The performance started around 3 and for the next hour, this beautiful natural stone theater was transformed into a puppet paradise.

Ok.  Stop me now.  Maybe you remember when Ben and I came upon the "Million Puppet March" when we were in DC last fall and I believe it was ME that laughed tirelessly about the lameness of puppets.  I put them in the same class a mimes and clowns.  The world would be a better place without them.

I was wrong.  About the puppets. The mimes and clowns can still suck it.  Both creep me out. Granted during the pre-show I could smell that someone had lit up a big fat one and yes the smell of unwashed hippie surrounded me, but the show itself was uber cool.

The premise of the show was the story of evolution as told through a giant puppet headed Charles Darwin. It started with creation and ended to a theme of environmentalism and global responsibility.

Ok.  Stop me now and ask, was this on a child level, YES! Ben just about blew me away that he knew the word "hominid." Granted, at one point he looked at me and said, "we need to quit driving our car, it is killing our Earth".  Yes, son, and the bike trip over here to hear this important message would have started last week."  Ian loved all the movement, action from cast moving throughout the audience, and in general making piles of stones at his feet.  But, Ben was truly into the whole show.  He asked me to take pictures of every single set.

I settled on this shot at the end which was really cool since they passed the giant human head and parts of a human man through the crowd and Ben was able to touch it himself.  So, am I going to abandon my day job and take on one of the cast descriptions as a "wildwoman, healer, gardener, and trickester?"

No, but what I will tell you is that I have no regrets in taking my kids to places that are out of the ordinary from their daily life.  I explained to Ben that the man in the Balinese batik skirt in front of us was cool like him, and that he was wearing something boys wear in another culture. Exposure to that which is different is another step to fostering his understanding and appreciation of his world.

Week of Sept 1st-7th By the Numbers

Actual workdays- 4, 3 if you count today's teacher workday without students.  What up school district to put a workday 8 days after we started the school year.  Are you trying to tick off working parents?

Number of Jr Jazzercise classes taken- 1 + a 8 week punch pass purchased.  Ben was beside himself and damn if he isn't more coordinated than me.

Number of mea cupla emails sent to Ben's teacher for loosing his homework-1.  In my defense it got mixed into a stack I was grading.  I noticed later I had misspelled a word in my email to her.  opps...

Speaking of grading- Current in-basket for work to be graded on my desk.  Hello weekend.  That doesn't include planning for a 2 week unit on the political process for AP Gov or the Era of Good Feelings for US kids. I would like to spank whoever named the period of history, "the era of good feelings." Really, do we care about John Quincy Adams.  I think not.

Speaking of kids, while I have a gazillion of them, so far even the repeating ones are working, coming to class, and giving it their best shot.  It probably doesn't hurt I have instituted "Cookie Friday" if we can get through a whole week of productivity. It may cost me a small fortune, but the in the long run it will be a double win situtation.

Number of students that I currently have- over 100.  I would give you an actual count, but it changes daily, and the numbers only continue to go up as more students enroll in the first 10 days and classes are filled to capacity.  Actually the phrase, "filled to capacity" no longer fits, maybe I should practice stuffing dead bodies in the extra space in my house.  This seems like a good and useful skill about now.

Needless to say I'm short on books, desks, chairs, in general room for it not to be wall to wall teenagers hosed down in AXE bodyspray.  I have built up a tolerance to the universal skanky teen boy smell that usually is complemented by Dominos Pizza and Mountain Dew on any given Friday night in America.

Moving on.

Number of hours of exercise- One workout with the trainer and heading to the gym today before pick up. If I can pull off kickboxing tomorrow, then I kinda met my goal.

Number of Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks purchased- 2 and likely going to be 3 today.  My daily on the way home coffee pick up has the potential for addiction status.

Books finished this week- 2-In all due respect, it has taken over a month to listen to Half the Sky on audio while walking the dog.  The second, a bookclub book called Lost and Found, sparked a discussion of what game show or reality show would you like to be a contestant.  According to the discussion last night: Nays to Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, basically anything when hooking up in a skanky hot tub with some has-been is a major plotline.

My friend mentioned Supermarket Sweep. Remember this gem circa 1992?  I SO watched this every afternoon, dreaming on a day I could wear a nasty baby poop yellow collared contestant sweatshirt and fill my grocery cart with 17 lb hams.

Happy weekend-