Capturing 2013

I finally got around making a 2014 calendar yesterday.  Today, I'm wrapping up 2013 with favorite pictures I took throughout the year.

January- 38th birthday beach trip with the boys to an indoor water park resort.  I am the water-slide parent, hear me roar.

February- From one of my favorite posts of the year A Different Kind of Love Story

March- From "Touch A Truck"  How can such a poorly worded event bring such utter joy.  In this case, running the length of an empty tractor trailer truck.

April- From Y Guides Spring Outing with Dad.  I'm so very glad Bill shares a love of camping with Ben so I don't have to go.  I'm also very thankful for a very happy and healthy 2013 for Ben.  

May- Flowers abound and warm weather returns to my Prince of Tides house for primo porch sittin'

 

June- There are many ways to celebrate a birthday.  I'll take water-sliding with some of my favorite people. 

July- Trips, Trips, Trips.... Two to Florida in One Month

August- Back to school and the end of a summer of Camp Mommy field trips

September-  Very thankful for friends that don't think twice about letting her 3 join my 2 for a 

barrel of boy-tastic fun.  

October- What do I want to be when I grow up? A career that gives me a daily opportunity to remind someone that they are loved. The weekly $15.00 flower budget is continuing into 2014.  

November- Roadtrip to DC for a Ben and Mom weekend.  Yes please, for as long as he will think it's cool to hang with mom.    

December- Why not a picture taken in December, one that sums up how 2013 was spent so many days and weekends.  No regrets.   

Christmas Week Unwrapped

It has been a very quiet holiday week.  In part because we did not travel to Atlanta given the family wedding last month.  Also in part as the kids have both had colds they cannot seem to kick. Luckily both Bill and I are well so everyone is not down for the count.  We've spent most of our week at home minus trips to the playground, a bounce house, and lots of walks with the dog with bikes and trikes in tow.

We decided to pass on some events planned that would have us outside in the cold at night.  The good thing is that the boys are young enough that seeing a big light display on a hayride will be just as fun next year.

I've gotten much needed tasks around the house done, plus lots of sleeping and binge tv watching. The boys have been enamoured with their gifts to the point of now going on day three of playing in one of the three rooms set up with a Lego train, a Disney World monorail, or Hot Wheels loop of death.  I think our family personally is keeping Hot Wheels and Lego in business in 2013.

Some pictures to wrap up what has been a relaxing week at home

Letters to Santa from Ian with help from mom

Letter from Ben that is practically illegible.
Can we sat working on handwriting needs to be one of his 2014 resolutions.

A big hit were headlights to use at night in our rooms.  Thanks Beth H. for introducing to this fab idea.

 Pile of presents?  I got this.

Ben was super excited to get a graphic novel about dogs that have served in WWI, WWII, and Vietnam.

Mom was as happy to get a signed copy with the personal note, "Good luck with your History lessons" from Presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin.  Over seven hundred pages of the rivalry between Roosevelt and Taft set in the Progressive age.  Score one for fellow history nerds.

Ian was equally excited to get Bear in Underwear.  The touching tale of a bear in the woods that finds a bag of underwear for all his woodland friends.  Can we say a love of reading has to start somewhere.  Actually this book is super cute for the preschool crowd.

Wishing you a continued relaxing holiday with family and friends.

Merry Christmas from the family

Wishing you time surrounded by those you love.  

From our home to yours, 

Merry Christmas

Holiday happenings

I thought I had posted a holiday list to-do with the boys, only to realize that much of 2014, I had good intentions to post and then life happened.  Our main theme of this holiday is to be selective on how we spend time.  I forwent making holiday goodies tray for Bill's work.  I phoned it in for my co-workers and bagged up chocolate covered peanuts, caramel corn, and chocolate drizzled kettle corn.  No less that two teachers ate it for lunch when I parceled out bags at a meeting earlier in the week.

I also drastically cut back on holiday cards and only sent 1/2 of what I normally do in the past.  I've said no to a neighborhood party because frankly I was just really tired and since I didn't plan to drink, thought it was a moot point to go when I knew few people.

So what have we been doing?

Ben and I did a holiday clay class in November and created this tree and snowman village for our kitchen table.

I took the boys to the Pullen Park Holiday Express.  This year I bought three wristbands and took the boys right when they opened on a weekday night.  We were able to ride the train without a wait.  New this year was a giant snowman and pile of snow to have a snowball fight.  Ben is desperate to have a real snow this year and upended some other family's fun when he and another dad got into a pelting war.

Obligatory Santa photo, and yes I thought the one with Ian and tongue out SO captured him at age 3.5

Sunday I took Ben to the Nutcracker at the Durham Performing Arts Center (DPAC).  Normally I would never pay the crazy high prices to see a real performance, but Groupon had a rush sale and the tickets were affordable.  We dinned on hotdogs before the performance, ate smuggled M&Ms during intermission, and checked out a Festival of Trees afterwards.  Ben made it through must of the performance but was really tired in the last 20 or so minutes.  If local, this was a beautifully staged and performed version and I would return at a reduced ticket price.

Yesterday I surprised Ian at school to see his 3 year old class holiday sing a long.  "Sing-along" is a subjective term as 80% of the kids had the deer in the headlights look and simply shook their jingle bells and shouted out specific words to the songs.  Still, it was a treat that I was able to get permission to reschedule student lunch tutorials and attend during the middle of the day.  Ian's face lit up when I saw him in all his 3 year old cuteness.

The only event left we haven't done is head out to Hillridge Farms, location of where we normally do a hayride.  Our friends told us about a great light display, hayride, and photos with Santa.  I'm thinking I may take the boys early on Christmas Eve night and make it a scavenger hunt to guess our final location.

Last year I made a grave mistake of driving out to the middle of nowhere (really just a rural county 45 mins away) to see a light display with a train.  I should have heeded my friend's advice that it was a "different" take on Christmas.  No lie, lit up teddy bears jumping out of presents staged next to a Jesus on a cross was a bit much.

So far, Ben and Ian are in the thick of excitement for Santa and I love that a nightly tradition from growing up with Brian was to read our family collection of Christmas books by the tree.  Also in the ongoing Vinson family carrying on the Hendricks family tradition is the "tackiest Christmas holiday decorations contest."  We already have the two houses in our own neighborhood that are must drive-bys each night on the way home from pick up.

I am again on planning on driving the boys out to Happyland lights and while not tacky, they certainly win a prize for highest light bill in January.  It is the little things, the gift of time together, that I hope the boys will want to pass on to their own kids.  I remember very few presents actually received for any Christmas minus a crappy Snoopy Cone machine, but what I do remember is the holiday through the lens of special, once a year activities that my mom made sure was part of each season.

Parenting Fail?

Last night Ben and I were working on homework when I realized he needed notebook paper.  Believe it or not but I'm not a fan of notebook paper, especially that of the spiral bound kind with the "nasty edge" that gets all over the floor.  I actually forbid assignments on it in my own class and takes off points if students turn in work with nasty edge.  I'm a killjoy in the realm of office supplies.

I remembered that on my shelf of school supplies I had a one subject notebook with a cover from the movie Tommy Boy.  The same Tommy Boy of "Fat man little coat" song fame or "it doesn't hurt here or here, but my face hurts here".  Stop me, as I can go one on one with lines.  I saw this movie three times in an actual theater when it came out.  Once with friends, once with Bill and once with my brother.  What does that say about me?

I digress.

Part of Ben's nightly homework includes math and a reading journal.  Earlier in the year he had to fill in a sheet giving the title of the book and a summery of the book read.  His teacher is moving to open-ended questions that students must include the question in the answer and then answer in complete sentences.  Ben had three questions to complete last night and when I looked over his work I could not read a single answer. Ben rushes through everything to be done and move on to something else.  A perfectionist he is not.

I told him he had to redo all of it until it was legible.  I sat with him and wrote out a template showing how to record each day with title, date, and then which questions he was answering.

Here was the before:

And the after:

Overall he is having a good 2nd grade year.  I am surprised at the amount of work they complete in a given day based on what is coming home on the weekend.  We take a few minutes each weekend and clean out his backpack and go through his weekly folder of work.  We have built rewards into the bear buck box for overall work effort during the week.  Ben is at least upfront in telling me what he likes to do (most math and science that involves what sounds like a 2nd grade version of a lab) and what he hates, any type of writing unless it is on a computer.

Over the weekend I helped him study for a math test.  It was a first helping one of my OWN kids study for a test.  We spent time working back through problems from homework, watching the online links that his teacher had sent of how to do this "new" math of math "mountains" and writing subtraction in expanded form. I wrote out problems for him to complete and then then had him check his work.  He reported Monday that he thought he had done ok and that one of the problems I wrote was similar to one on his test.  *Note, if you can teach it back to me, you have cleared the gate.

As we round into the last 2 1/2 days before the holiday break Ben is counting down the days of school and told me he is planning on leaving his backpack in my car the entire break.    I hear you, Ben.

Seventeen years in and we spent it with the Chickenman

Saturday was our 17th wedding anniversary.  How did we celebrate?

In the most romantic of ways, at a cold, wet Christmas parade as Ben Jr. Jazzercised his way down the streets of Downtown Cary.  Given the forecast was for heavy rain starting near the time of the parade, we told Ben that we would decide if the weather was ok for him to march if it only misting, not a deluge of rain.

While not ideal, as it was a balmy 44 degrees it was just tolerable as for the hour we were outside it didn't really rain until the very end of the parade.  We parked ourselves near the end so I could quickly grab Ben and we could bolt if the rain became heavy.  I dressed Ian in layers, including too cute froggy boots.  Bill picked up hot chocolate and we settled in waiting for entry 14, Cary Jazzercise.  Ian was beside himself catching candy being thrown from the floats and groups.  Because we were at the end of the route, several of literally dumping bags of candy on the street.

A one point I yelled to a woman about to dump an entire basket of jolly ranchers at Ian's feet, please don't give him all that! She dumped it all anyway, much to Ian's delight.

Ben had a smile ear to ear as he made his way past.  He had been practicing in the kitchen nightly and I whispered in his ear when I dropped him off that he would do great and I was proud of him for performing in front of so many people.  Given the bad weather, only a 1/3 of the kids in his class were in the parade, so the kids joined the other Jazzercise ladies.  My friend mentioned to me the other day that she hoped Ben one day would appreciate that I openly encouraged him to explore interests, even if it involves jazz hands.

Bill and I had a hay day laughing at some of the parade entries.  Being from small town America, I was totally waiting for high school bands, a gazillion schools of dance with 9 year old girls with enough makeup to to make hookers blush, and all the churches trying to outdo each other with who can put up the best Baby Jesus.

What I wasn't expecting was "the Chickenman".  A two bit shill belting out Christmas tunes from the platform of a Jazzy wheelchair lift, attracted lovingly to the front of a Ford 150 pick up.  Or Puppypalooza, complete with two dogs.  Does "palooza" not denote like at least 10?  Or the church short bus that stopped in front of us for a good 5 minutes on a continuous loop of sing-songy music with puppets hanging out of the windows. Bill and I were punching each other laughing so, so hard.

We had dinner out, watched Polar Express with the kids by the fireplace.  Was it crazy romantic?  Nope, but after 17 years it more about taking one for the team, at a rainy Christmas parade watching our kid in a bright red Jazzercise shirt and keeping one from eating candy by the handful off the street. Best of all, we did it together.

A year out, and I feel the same

Yesterday I was standing at the window during class and suddenly noticed a line of elementary kids coming towards my school on the way to see a performance of the Nutcracker.  They looked so sweet, so innocent bundled up in brightly colored coats and hats.  As I looked at them I couldn't help but think of the families in Newtown, CT that will be mourning the loss of their kids tomorrow on the one year anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting. Last year I wrote an untitled post more for myself than for anyone who might read this blog. When I reread what I wrote a year ago, I feel much the same.

I've continued to try to be media silent in what I watched or read about the story.  I did watch a haunting 60 Minutes interview with the parents on the eve of the now failed Federal gun control legislation this past March.  It was an interview I wish I had walked away from hearing. One particular parent's nightly ritual to honor her son is forever stuck in my head.

It was everything demonstrated in unconditional love for a child. Even when I am ready to at my limit with Ben and Ian, I can still physically hug and kiss them every night. They get a 2nd, 3rd and so on chance each day to mature into the men they are becoming each year.

I've been very conscious not to look at the 20 first graders names listed.  Thinking of their parent's naming them as babies never imagining they would not live to see their children's names in print of a graduation program, wedding annoucement or other life milestone is just too unbelievably tragic of potention cut short.

The only other program I watched in the last year was a Frontline piece in which the relationship between Adam Lanza and his mother was the subject.  It told a very normal story or a parent doing what they thought was in the best interest of her child. Knowing that his first victim was his own mother or that no extended family stepped in to claim Adam's body for almost a month after the shooting is tragic in his own way.

A year out from this story I am very sad to say that tougher gun control laws failed federally and that elected officials have taken heat or even been recalled for standing up for what seems common sense tougher gun rights.

The Harper High School series from TAL asked a loaded question about the relationship race and guns. Sadly that school was faced with another shooting death this fall..  This American Life very boldly asked why a inner city high school didn't receive the same media appeal as Sandy Hook Elementary given a similar number of lives lost.

Later today my AP Gov't class will have a final Friday public policy debate.  It was not intentional when we drew dates for topics that gun control would be final debate and come on the eve of the one year anniversary of Newtown's tragic loss. I will stay neutral, like I have for all other debates, and watch student's moderate the two positions.

I will be looking at a note left in my lunchbox by Ben, now taped to my work laptop and thinking that starting a dialogue, even with high school seniors is worth the time. It is one of the paths in my realm of impact and potential change to honor the memory of those forever frozen as 1st graders, their teachers and administrators, and the mother of a badly broken child.

Thoughts on a year of personal training

Last year for a combined anniversary and Christmas gift I bought (and wrapped up and put Bill's name as giver) 10 sessions of personal training at our local Y.  I moved our very expensive membership as an all inclusive gym after figuring that the at most one time a month I was going was one very expensive visit.

I figured the one thing I needed more was the motivation to try to fit exercise back into my week.  The idea was buy 10 sessions of perosnal training, spread them out over the year and by the end of 2013 I would have gone to the gym 2-3 times a week, reintroducing the habit of weekly exercise.

So, how did I do?

On the try to loose the 20 lbs I've put on in the last two years since my surgeries, not well.  While I didn't put on more weight, I also didn't loose the weight.  I could lament how ticked I am at myself for a major backslide.  Is it all related to less exercise? No, an erratic schedule of meals, not eating due to the lack of time, and nighttime snacking are also to blame.  A major goal in the year before I turn 40 is to loose the weight.

On the try to add exercise back into my week?  So-so.  I was able most weeks to make it once a week, but often it has been on the weekend.  The week itself has just gotten busier.  It is a trade off to leave before 5pm that I will have an additional hour on top of the standard 2 hours I have each night grading, planning, contacting parents.

Without lamenting the number of hours worked in a given week, but it averages 60-70 hours when you include actually being at school, work at home after the kids are in bed, and most weekends including trips to school on Sunday morning when the building is open.  Frankly, I am slap exhausted and when I try to figure out short cuts or combining tasks, I'm already maximizing every minute I have during the day.  You just cannot have classes of 35-40 students each, many of them with IEPs, learning issues, and repeating the class without these pulling these kind of hours.  Having my AP Gov't class is great, but the grading is a continual game of never catching up, just degrees of being buried.  

On the positive most of the summer, if I was home and not traveling then I went 4-5 times each week.  I restarted a Couch to 5k and made it to week 6 before the school year started.

One of my major goals for 2014 is to figure out anywhere I can find time to try to exercise. Yesterday at my final session I had my trainer go through all 9 of the 30 minute workouts she planned for me, again.

I would like to say that after I met with her I diligently did each workout just as she instructed.  I didn't. What I did do was use new equipment like the TRX bands, different ideas for cardio like Tabata interval training.  I printed off all 9 workouts, laminated  them and keep them on a D ring with pictures of the TRX band set up.

This is progress from someone who a year ago had gone almost 6 months since setting foot into a gym.  My goal for 2014 is to find 1 additional hour 2-3 times a week to trade work for exercise.  I will feel better physically and emotionally.  It seems like I have set myself up for sucess.  I hope I will not sabotize my 39th year in 2014.

Want to See it, Read it, Eat it- Holiday Edition

The boys and I are working through a family fun list that is manageable without feeling like every minute is packed with holiday cheer stress.  I have my own wish list for activities that don't involve Santa..

I am on the final countdown of the semester and other than writing a final exam and a final research project to roll on January 2nd for AP Gov students, come December 20 it is all about some slower paced days.

1.. See a movie. In a movie theater. By myself or with other adults.  Two movies would be dandy. Three would be more than I 've seen all year in a theater.  Contenders:  Anchorman 2, American Hustle, The Book Thief, or Catching Fire.

2. Go to the Messiah. Thinking next year I am going back to Duke.  While listening to a 3 hour performance feels almost like giving birth, I hate that some of my favorite pieces are cut with the scaled down version I've seen at an area Cary church the last few years.  

3.  Hit up some end of the year clothes sales.  Add Southern Season's end of year sale as well.

4.  Attempt to finish up a 2013 goal of 50 books read. I'm close to finishing my 45th book, The Shining Girls.  I currently have the following downloaded or checked out.  The Yonahlossee Riding Camp for Girls, The Burgess Boys, Life After Life, Home.

5. See the Nutcracker ballet by the Carolina Ballet.  I've taken Ben the last two  years to the one put on my school dance department.  After seeing dancers perform selections at Marbles kids museum, Ben has agreed to be my date, provided we get ice cream afterwards at the Parlor's streetfront store.

6.  Try out somewhere new for dinner or appetizers in the area.  I feel like I am trapped in a Groundhog Day-esqe trapping of kid friendly restaurants.  I want to put on nice earrings and go somewhere without a kid's menu.

7. Sunday brunch at the Carolina Inn and see the 12 Days of Christmas display and giant sand sculpture.

8. Marathon tv watching.  Homeland Season 2, Orange is the New Black, finish this season of Mad Men and possibly give Scandal a 2nd chance.

9. Get a pedicure.  I may not be wearing flip flops and sandals, but it has been months.  Plans next year to maybe do a spa day at a resort in Pinhurst that also has a big Gingerbread house competition.  That sounds every bit of my pushing 40-self fantasy to consider a cake competition as enjoyment.

10. Napping on the couch in front of a fire, with or without children.

Of mint chocolate chip ice cream and telling funny jokes

I had intended to post what Jingle, our Elf on the Shelf, has been up to this first week of December. Instead after going through a folder of papers Ben was to return for his 2nd grade portfolio last night, I had to change.

One of his assignment was to conduct an interview with a family member.  Ben and I frequently talk of the ways we are alike and different, so it was fun to see this assignment.

When we were finishing homework I asked him about some of the items he had listed:

Mom: You like school
Ben: Do not like school.

When I asked, "it is hard sometimes, I don't like to write. I do like recess, PE, going to the library, and art."

This opened the door to talk about how sometimes we have to struggle and work hard but the result is worth the effort.  I told him about how all the times he sees me grading work at home us part of my job.  We talked about going to school as his job.  His comment, "when can I get paid money to go to school?"

Ben: "I like music"
Mom: "you do not like music"

WHAAT???? I've been playing Christmas music in the car all week!

Ben: "Yeah mom, but you are always listening to the news in the car, so you must not like music. Plus you told me the other day your most un-favorite special was music."  What I hadn't told him was my elementary music teacher was horrible.  All I remember doing is singing some James Taylor song and playing with rhythm sticks every single week.  Plus, I grew up with my mom teaching piano on the other side of my bedroom room until 8 pm 4 nights a week.  At some point I need quiet.

Note that Ben and I both like mint chocolate chip ice cream and we both like to tell funny jokes.

Well said.

Happiest of weekends.  Ben is at a sleepover birthday party tonight, Bill is doing a movie night with Ian, and I am am meeting up with a friend for dinner and holiday shopping at an area vendor show.

Saturday we are heading to Town of Cary Santa's Workshop event and to to the new Dave and Busters for dinner and games. Sunday, I am going to the Messiah and attempting to get out holiday cards.   Sunday, expecting a cold rain, will most likely involve a movie, popcorn,  planned holiday kid crafts, and my music--hating self has promised to play Christmas songs on the piano for the boys.

He cut down a tree, so I made him a pecan pie

Know what was the absolute BEST part of the long holiday weekend?

What is a great Thanksgiving day dinner when the key word was PIE?

Did it include hanging out in pjs until mid morning eating pancakes?

Perhaps beautiful weather that was almost warm by mid day to include lots of playing outside?

Was it family movie night to watch Home Alone complete with popcorn, bad 80s fashions, and lots of 7 year old humor?

Nope.  All of those were swell, but the best part was hanging out with Brian. He drove up for a short overnight stay on Friday.

Once he arrived we headed over to Durham Science and Life for the afternoon.  While the kids played, we chatted and had a picnic lunch. The boys loved showing him their favorite parts of the museum.  Not surprisingly it included the dino dig, tunnels, outdoor music area, and the sailboats. Ian especially liked the paper airplane shooter.

 Ben was totally not into making a normal face.  For what it's worth, neither was Brian.

Friday night we picked up sushi and Brian and I watched a marathon of the new season of Arrested Development into WAY too late for adults to be up.  I might have to disown Brian if he didn't howl out loud at the insanity of the Bluth family.

Ben wanted to test out some newly learned chess skills, and my brother was happy to oblige.

Saturday am, I looked out the window to see this,

I mentioned I needed to finish off cutting up a small tree that fell during the summer and well, he showed up with an axe.  Do I even need to wonder while he owns an axe?  I repaid him in pecan pie and filling his cooler full from my freezer stash.

I hope, hope, hope to see him again over Christmas.  Thanks Brian for making the trip up.  Love you!

November Wrap Up

November, you came and went like no one's business.  My attempt to get 10 posts out in a month was not met for the first time this year.  So what was keeping me so busy?

- Annual Mom and Ben trip to Washington DC for museum hopping
- Road trip to Atlanta for family wedding
- Finished two books (one audio, one print that was over 600 pages long)
- Double visit with Uncle Brian (on the way to Atlanta, and a short overnight visit this weekend)
- Replenishing freeze ahead stock to make it to the end of the year
- Floral arranging class.  Can I just say I have kept a cornucopia of fall flowers alive for nearly 3 weeks by daily trimming and a couple of single flower freshening up.  It doesn't match my now up Holiday decorations, but it is staying until the last rust colored mum has bitten the dust.
- Christmas cards ordered and arrived today!
- House decorated for the holiday season and double party hosting.
- Almost all holiday shopping for the kids done (Bill can claim total credit for this accomplishment).  I have bought those always fun gifts of new pajamas.  Recall that Bill is the fun parent, I am the one that makes sure the boys have on clean underwear.
- Big holiday fun list planned, tickets ordered, reservations made for a busy December

Bring it 31 days of holiday fun, that will not include anything made of real gingerbread!

Harvest Table 2013

Thanksgiving has always been a big holiday in my family.  Usually we went to my dad's parents, Tom and Mary Hendricks where the definition of a down home Southern meal was invented.

I came across a recipe for her mac and cheese in her handwriting yesterday while I was looking for my mom's recipe for cornbread dressing.  Being in the freeze ahead cooking mood I made a triple batch of dressing resulting in 8 pans to stow away for busy school nights.

I love that I still have some of my favorite holiday dishes in now deceased family's handwriting.  It's like a little piece of them is still with me as I make the same recipes as part of our holiday meal.  Later today we will be celebrating with our neighbors whom our kids spent many an hour playing together. Tomorrow, Brian will be here for a part of the weekend and a chance to visit with the boys.  We have plans for a family movie night, heading over to Durham Science and Life, and the opportunity to get up our holiday decorations.

In a season of thankfulness I am grateful for my family, friends that are surrogate family, my health and that of my boys, a positive year for both Ben and Ian at school, their growing independence and finding their own talents and passions, faith that sustains the trials and joys of life, and work that is challenging but also deeply meaningful.

Back in 2008 I wrote a post called Turkey in the Rec Room in which I told the story of the last holiday my immediate family was together was spent at Greenville Memorial Hospital.  It was a meal of a forgotten turkey (as well as most of the rest of the meal) and  substitutions of crackers and ice cream from the nurses station.  It was a story of how despite difficult circumstances the only thing we really needed was each other to celebrate.

Happy Thanksgiving, may it be time with those that mean the most to you.

A very small token of thanks

In a season of thankfulness, I am beyond thankful that for the 10+ hours I am away from my boys I know they are in good hands. I appreciate open communication and the knowledge that the people that see them more waking hours of the day than I do have patience beyond mine, are loving as well as compassionate about their work.

I sent Ben in with a card and a small Target gift card to say thanks for working with our family this year tucked into his homework folder.  I did the same for Ian's two teachers as well.  This is a lean season when I personally know teachers making hard decisions about pay, if they can stay in this profession, or if they can somehow manage 2nd and even 3rd jobs to make ends meet. It is a difficult time to consider this profession for any type of long term income security.

I wanted Ben and Ian's teachers to know that I appreciate the time and effort they put into my boys each day.  A good teacher can bridge the gap for lacking equipment, fewer supplies, an overcrowded classroom where kids get little one on one attention.  While not all miracle workers, many are the teachers you want your kids to have.  We have been very fortunate to feel that we are in supportive schools and that part of the boys' success lies in the abilities of good teachers.

Weekend

Checking in after a few weeks of treading water fitting life into 24 hours.

We are looking forward to the holiday week to be celebrated with friends on Thanksgiving and my brother over the weekend.  This weekend was much like the the others filled with errands not completed during the week among piles of laundry, cleaning, and grading.

Bill took Ben to a birthday party on Saturday while Ian and I hit up Target aka the $100.00 store after going nearly three weeks without hitting the grocery.  Yes, I'm one of those people who succumbed to buying milk at the gas station not to have to make a full run.

Add 10+ bags of leaves raked, making and dropping dinner to our neighbor with a sweet newborn son, holiday cards ordered, and you have another average weekend at Casa Vinson.

Ben and I finished up a Saturday parent/child clay class with one of our favorite instructors.  If local, please consider a class at the Cary Art Center with instructor Linda Simpson.  She is patient with kids on a whole new level, plus she has that great "art is everywhere" vibe that is infectious.

This time Ben and I worked together to create a Christmas tree village complete with snowman Vinson family.  I can't wait to see the finished product to add to what he made last year with Ms. Linda.  I'm totally one of those suckers that loved that my mom kept and passed on tacky child-made ornaments made from some 1982 suntan pantyhose and felt.

Sunday I did a date day with the boys first up church, then on to Marbles Children's museum, late lunch and then the library for new books. As we head into a week where the focus is thankfulness, I'll start with my boys.  I cannot imagine a life without their sweetness, laughing, fighting, antics that are becoming more more them vs me, and did I mention fighting?

I am thankful for my V boys, Ben and Ian. You make our lives fun, exciting, and very, very LOUD!

What happens when Riverdance meets Superhero Squad

Bill's aunt Lynn sent more pictures from the wedding to share.  Pardon me while I swoon just a little.

Ian was in no mood to open his eyes for most pictures.  He looks like he spent most of the day looking into the sun in 99% of the pictures taken. 

Get ready, I'm planning on acting like a total tool at your wedding.  I've been prepping all day. By the way these Spiderman themed Vans are so 1983 Jeff Spicoli. 

Really mom, I thought I was going to get to wear swishy pants at this gig.  This tie sucks.  In addition your ability to dress (little) men sucks.  

PS... Dad sucks too, most likely because he wears a screen printed t-shirt of some type of geekdom every waking day. 

Must better, although I look kinda look like if Riverdance hooked up with a Superhero.  Bonus points for the call to ditch the capes until the reception.  

It's GO time.  Super bonus points that a dog is not also in this picture.  

Despite Ian's antics, mom was proud of us.  She also promised us all you could eat ice cream at the reception.  *Note, Ian had to leave before the ice cream bar was wheeled out at the reception so Ben ate three bowls in his honor.  

Ben to mom, "so will I be in Ian's wedding?"  
Mom, "Yes, just don't give him a quarter to loose and you'll be all good."

Mozelle and Roy would have been proud

When I met Bill in the fall of 1994 I knew the following things about him:

1.  He was the overnight computer lab manager and would put a sign on his face that said,"wake if having issues, if not, let me sleep."
2.  He was in my 8am French class, and seemed like a nice guy when I saw him in the foreign language lab and asked for help once Freshmen year.  Note it was not overnight and I did not have to wake him.
3.  He already knew several of my sorority sisters and had taken one to the Spring formal Freshmen year when I went out with him for my Sophomore year sorority pledge bash.

What I didn't know was that over the course of just a few months after we had our first date, that he would take me to meet his grandmother, Mozelle Evans.  Mrs. Evans was in the hospital the first time I met her. On the same day I also met his grandfather, Roy, and his mom.  His grandmother would later say she thought I must be from a good family to come and see her in the hospital.  I remember thinking anyone who would take me to meet their grandmother within a month of dating must HAVE a good family.

Over the past 19 years of knowing his family I can say that they are kind and welcoming.  Mozelle and Roy were salt of the Earth folk that knew the importance of family.  Such was theme over the weekend when Bill's younger brother James married Katie.  I knew that I would like Katie when I met her at our annual summer trip to Florida and she offered to take Ben and Ian (along with James) to a water park.  After making sure she did indeed understand that Ian liked to wander and Ben was fearless, she still consented to taking the boys and returned with both un-phased but also very tired.

Ben and Ian love her.  My mother in law loves her and most importantly James loves her.  At Bill's toast at the reception he remarked that they bring out the best in each other, which is what I remember best about Bill's grandparents.  They complemented each other like no other couple I ever met.  Much more than either my sets of grandparents.  I often thought of them as my own grandparents in the ways they welcomed me into their family.

Everyone wore matching Superhero themed Chuck Taylors

I am sad that neither lived to see their youngest grandchild marry in a beautiful sunset ceremony under a blanket of fall color marry.  Am I glad that the bride and groom nixed a decision to have the boys walk their 90 lb dog down the aisle with the rings on an attached pillow, uh yes.  Do I wish that Ian hadn't started jumping up an down showing his Spiderman underwear during the ceremony?  Uh, yes again.  How about when he ran towards me crying when he lost the quarter he was suppose to stand on during the ceremony prompting me to exit stage left with him sobbing as not drown out the recessional music? Why yes, I think you can pick up on the theme of the night of mom in full-on damage control mode as not to ruin a wedding.

Do I wish that of all days of not napping that being utterly crazy at the reception resulted in me taking Ian back to the hotel early, missing out on a large part of the party?  Of course.  I can say Ben was at an all time high of mature, helpful behavior.  I whispered into Ben's ear that if I were his girlfriend Mary, of shoes being thrown over the fence fame, I would marry him as he looked so handsome.  He blushed and I smiled.

While I didn't take any pictures I hope that the family shots will reveal how cute the boys looked, and one that the photographer got his his pants falling off on the dance floor. No one would have laughed harder than Bill's grandparents.  

A wedding is but a day; a marriage is a lifetime.  Happiest of marriages to James and Katie.  I wish you a lifetime of happiness.

One day he will get it

Ben and I traveled to Washington DC Friday afternoon for what I hope will continue as an annual tradition for an overnight trip for just the two of us.  This year I gave him the option of either going to Smithsonian Natural History or the the Air and Space Annex near one of the DC airports.  Beth H. graciously offered for us to stay with her family like last year.

He opted for Natural History as he is in a dinosaur and fossil phase.  Luckily we drove out of the rain near the NC/VA border and after a quick dinner arrived in time to say good night to Seth and William.  One of the things I loved best about this visit was that Beth and I got time to chat, eating Sugar Mama cupcakes by her fireplace.  Yes, the boys were crazy and adding a pre-planned friend spending the night Saturday night added to the insanity.

We found all of them shirtless, eating (again) and laughing at Home Alone 2. Beth told them they were not to be up before 7 am on Sunday.   All were up at 5 am on Sunday and we found a map of how they would sneak downstairs. I LOVE the seven year oldness of it all.

On the museum front, we took the Metro into the city after bombing out on street parking due to the Autism Speaks walk on the Mall.  I mentioned that we should check out the transportation exhibit in American History on our way to Natural History.  I had the crazy idea for my WWII graphic- novel loving child to stop by the Price of Freedom exhibit before we left thinking he would want to see the WWII items and move on.
Nope, we were in that one exhibit for a good hour and a half.  What may seem like a parenting fail to take him through an intense at times exhibit dedicated to American warfare, became one of the best experiences I've ever had with him.  Ben checks out books each week about War from the children's nonfiction section of our local library.  We talk about what happened in the war, the bad and good guys, and the weapons before he returns each week.  How many 7 year olds can you you about Guadalcanal?

At one point we were looking at the information about the decision to use the atomic bomb and Ben asked a particularly mature question.  A man who had been touring the exhibit nearby mentioned to me that he was very knowledgeable about the war. Ben told him about his books and  I mentioned that I teach American History.  I also mentioned that I share a similar love of our military history but that more importantly I want him to have the correct information explained on his level instead of just wondering aimlessly through the books.

We headed on Smithsonian Natural history seeing the dinosaur, gems/minerals, oceans, fossil lab, and mammals exhibits. We wrapped up our day, bought a tshirt for him and for Ian.  Ben opted to pick a book about dinosaurs over a toy and we headed home for the sleep over.

On the way out we stopped to take our picture near a bank of beautiful fall trees on our way to the Metro.  Ben reached over and planted a big kiss on my cheek.  From the same boy that told me he was too old to hold by hand earlier in the day, a moment of utter sweetness.

I know that one day he will be too old and cool to hang out with mom, but for now I will take that sweet kiss and tuck it away. I hope when he is raising his own children that he will carve out alone time to try to know and love his kids, their interests, who they are becoming as they grow up.

Thank you Ben for a wonderful trip and for sharing a part of your interests with me.  My heart is so, so full.

xoxox- Mom